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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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With photos like this knocking around, is it any wonder that Marco Materazzi finds himself being forced to take people to court for libel?! This is crying out for a caption that Marco’s lawyer could really get his teeth into… Pies signing off before we end up with a date in the High Court ourselves!

So fiendish you’ll eat your own hands in frustration…
1 Shakhtar Donetsk, Dynamo Kyiv, Tottenham, West Ham, Dynamo Kyiv (current club). Whose career?
2 Which Turkish club are nicknamed ‘The Yellow Canaries’?
3 Who’s this new Premiership recruit?

ZidMat.jpgItalian World Cup winner Marco Materazzi has begun legal proceedings against three British papers he claims libelled him after the 2006 World Cup final. The Inter Milan centre-back is seeking damages from The Sun, Daily Star and Daily Mail over their reports of insults he made to Zinedine Zidane.

tevez3.jpgDamn, why can’t a football transfer be as simple as ‘You pay us what we want for this player and he gets to wear your shirt…’?

Some say nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. But now that another icon, Monsieur Henry, has left our league we took a moment to reflect on the finest overseas imports that have ever played in the Premiership.

landon_donovan12.JPGA big fat ZERO. Yeah, nil points. That’s what the USA scored in this year’s Copa America, after defeats at the hands of Argentina, Paraguay and Columbia. Eight goals conceded, two goals scored.

Something to please Spurs fans this morning: New Tottenham signings Younes Kaboul, Darren Bent and Gareth Bale pose with manager Martin Jol (far left) and sporting director Damien Comolli at Spurs Lodge on 5 July, 2007 in London, England. [Photo: Hamish Blair/Getty Images]

Copa America’s invited guests from the North, Team USA, are out of the tournament after their third consecutive defeat. The Americans lost 1-0 against Colombia with Jaime Castrillon scoring the only goal of the game.

steve%20bruce.jpgBirmingham’s prospective new owner Carson Yeung has revealed he will foist Hong Kong players upon manager Steve Bruce. Blues fans will be delighted to hear that the businessman sees their return to the Premiership as the perfect opportunity to test the credentials of young Hong Kong players. The return to the top for flight could degenerate into an international exchange programme!

This classic clip shows the hilarious moment when a boy invaded the pitch in a Manchester United versus Leeds United game to take a shot on goal. The youngster finds himself on the end of a Willie Morgan cross, but drills his first-time shot just wide. It is not a bad attempt – even Pele would probably lose a bit of accuracy if he was playing in Dr Martens! The scamp takes a kick from Peter Lorimer for his troubles before scurrying back to the sidelines.

Kaboul.JPGFresh Horror Hair talent arrived in the Premiership today as Spurs wrapped up the signing of French under-21 captain Younes Kaboul. The £8 million-rated centre back seems to be going for some sort of thatched cottage effect. Pies is not sure what the sticky stuff holding his hair in place is, but there is every chance it originated from Martin Jol if the spherical Dutchman’s gushing quotes are anything to go by. He said: “If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul. It’s important to have quality players in defence and with him, we have that.”

In honour of Rafa’s new goatee, Pies celebrates 10 football managers who shunned the shaver before him.
1 Artur Jorge

Asamoah.jpgAsamoah Gyan – the Ghana striker who made a big impression at the 2006 World Cup – is the latest footballer to be tempted into the recording studio. The Udinese player has recorded a track for the new album of Castro, dubbed ‘Ghana’s 50 Cent’.

We spotted this beauty on the ever-excellent Left Back and just had to pay tribute to (ie. steal) it. Top work chaps, love it…

Eduardo da Silva – First Interview
Uploaded by Nvboy

A silly question you might think, but one that needs asking. Da Silva is unproven and talented – just as Thierry Henry was when he first came to Arsenal. So do you think Arsene Wenger has unearthed another diamond in the rough, or will Da Silva struggle to make an impact in the Premiership?

8243.jpgSpurs have won the race to sign France U21 captain Younes Kaboul from Auxerre. Kaboul, a 21-year-old central defender, was also linked to Roma and Inter Milan. The fee is reported to be in the region of £8m. Spurs definitely need to strengthen their defence of they are to challenge the big four, and this signing is a good start. ‘If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul,’ Spurs boss Martin Jol told the club website.

As spotted on 101GreatGoals. Good to see an Englishman at No.1. Makes us proud…

uJXXy3a4.jpgJosmer ‘Jozy’ Altidore, a striker for New York Red Bulls, is still only 17 years old but he’s not looked out of his depth in the MLS, scoring twice in New York’s first three games. The Red Bulls are being extremely protetcive of their young star. Since the arrival of Juan Pablo Ángel in NY, Altidore has started only two matches.

(L-R) Antonio da Silva, Silvio Meissner, Roberto Hilbert and Arthur Copa sit on a golf caddy, during a training session for VFB Stuttgart in Donaueschingen, Germany. [Photo: Alexander Heimann/Bongarts/Getty Images]

74138789.jpgTalk about the gap between the top clubs in England and the rest of the Premiership. Man U’s squad now looks so strong that they could arguably field two teams in the Prem and qualify for Europe twice over:
First XI: Edwin Van der Sar, Gary Neville, Nemanja Vidic, Rio Ferdinand, Patrice Evra, Owen Hargreaves, Michael Carrick, Paul Scholes, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Carlos Tevez

Pre-seasonlampard.jpgLooks like Frank, aka Eric Cartman, has been demolishing his fair share of pies and cream cakes during his summer holidays. Jose Mourinho won’t be happy to see that his star midfielder has developed such an impressive set of man breasts, or moobs as we like to call ‘em. And he could do with a spot of lipo on that wobbly gut. Too much Christmas pudding Frank?

So mighty Brazil eke out a 1-0 win against Ecuador, thanks to a penalty by Robinho. The Brazilians advance to the quarter finals, just, but I still can’t seem them troubling Argentina or Mexico, to whom they have already lost in the group stages. By the way, Brazil’s victory eliminated the USA.

player-image-40637.jpgA few seasons ago, Jermain Defoe was being talked about as a future England star. Now he finds himself as fourth-choice striker (behind Dimi Berbatov, Robbie Keane and, arguably, Darren Bent) in a team that can’t win the Premiership. His career has stalled dramatically and I find it hard to put my finger on a specific reason why it’s happened.

pic534.jpgFootball’s hottest rumour of the day is that Man Utd are closing in on the signing of Carlos Tevez. BBC sports editor Mihir Bose ‘understands talks are underway and says Tevez may move on loan or permanently’.