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Who ate all the pies

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John Terry discusses England’s defensive options ahead of the Germany game. Just like that!

[Via FanBanta]

Thanks to Pies reader Dave Sparks for notifying us of the glaring similarities between Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp and the Lion from The Wizard of Oz. The pair have similar wigs and identical droopy cheeks. I always get the characters mixed up. If I recall correctly, the Tin Man was looking for a heart and the Scarecrow wanted a brain. I think the Lion was after a bung as part of Dorothy’s controversial move to Emerald City.
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76174518.jpgWith only two points to show from their first three games, it’s United’s worst start to the league for 15 years and Fergie has already admitted that the Champions face an uphill struggle to reclaim their title.

76170188.jpgBecks made his first start for the LA Galaxy at the weekend but, despite a hat trick of assists, he couldn’t prevent his team from losing 5-4 to the New York Red Bulls.

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Buenos dias! The big news in Spanish football is Sevilla’s victory over Real Madrid in the Spanish Super Cup last night. The Andalucian outfit beat Real 5-3 on the night and 6-3 on aggregate to lift the trophy. A Fredi Kanoute hat-trick and a brace from Renato secured victory for Sevilla.

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1 Micah Richards is a superhuman backtracking machine who will hunt you down and tackle you (and he’ll get himself in all sorts of terrible positions first just to give you a bit of a chance!).

Ian%20Holloway%20kidney.jpgIan Holloway missed Plymouth Argyle’s match against Ipswich Town on Saturday after being rushed to hospital suffering from a kidney stone. Ollie was admitted to hospital with lower back pains shortly before kick-off.

It would have been too easy to go for the entire Romanian 1998 World Cup squad, so here is Pies blond bombshell collective.
Santiago Canizares
He’s daft as a brush but Canizares gets the nod for the Bottle Blond XI. Impressive for Spain and Valencia over the years, Santi went peroxide circa 2002. We’ll put it down to a mid-life crisis.
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But, the pick of the bunch so far has to be Obafemi Martin’s overhead kick for Newcastle against Bolton last Saturday. The Nigerian pocket rocket chested up a James Milner cross before unleashing a spectacular bicycle kick from close range – and judging from Geremi’s face in this picture, even his team mates were astonished.

One’s a Bulgarian winger that plays for Aston Villa and the other is an 80s American teen film star – but both share a fondness for big hair and highlights

73690038.jpgDavid Bentley is paying the price for refusing to play in the U-21 European Championships by being omitted from Steve McLaren’s England squad to face Germany next week.

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Ian Holloway’s outstanding BBC column is back in action this week. The Plymouth Argyle boss has been mulling over his start to the season, Roy Keane, Wayne Rooney’s boots, Sven and the Euromillions jackpot winner. You may be aware that Pies loves Ollie nearly as passionately as Landon Donovan loves David Beckham. And he is excelling himself even at this early stage in the season.

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Nancy and Le Mans finished level on points last season in distinctly mid-table positions. They are level on points again three games into the Ligue Un season, but both have a 100 per cent record and are top of the table. As you can imagine, Le Mans set the pace headlines are de rigeur. Pre-season favourites Lyon and Marseille are both languishing in the bottom-half of the table, although Lyon have a game in hand.

57579372.jpgEddie Murphy impersonator, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, has teamed up with Robbie Fowler at Cardiff City in what once would have been a dream partnership in the Premier League.

There is the football season, and then there is seasonal football. My guess is that as soon as this pitch gets a bit waterlogged, you get out of there! This pitch is slap bang in the middle of the Rio Almanzora, in Andalucia, Spain, which is fine until the snow melts and it rains in the mountains. Any more suggestions for football pitches in unusual location, Pies fans?
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sven%20mobile.jpgA student has been receiving good luck messages and player offers intended for Sven Goran Eriksson. Christina Tambaros was assigned the number used by Eriksson when he was England boss after he quit last year. The 17-year-old received messages from former Charlton boss Les Reed and PFA chairman Gordon Taylor, and an offer to take Inter Milan midfielder Aparecido Rodrigues Cesar on a free transfer from his agent.

o%27connor%20hair.jpgBirmingham City’s Garry O’Connor is getting all geographical with his disastrous barnet. On top he has been building mountains, but down below there are waves. O’Connor was born in Edinburgh, which also happens to be the hometown of the Bay City Rollers. Coincidence? We think not. Could we be on the verge of a mullet revival? Let’s hope so, Horror Hair fans!

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With a combined cost of around £250m, even Roman’s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.

Pitch invader extraordinaire Jimmy Jump has been up to his old tricks again. The Barca fan – most famous for ‘jumps’ at the 2006 Champions League semi-final between Villareal and Arsenal and the 2007 Champions League final – entered the fray once again at the Catalan giants’ friendly with Bayern Munich yesterday.

2403664.jpgIs it just me, or does Cristiano Ronaldo have a new free kick routine?

US%20soccer%20ball.jpgIn case anyone missed Channel 5’s new MLS programme that’s being fronted by Soccer AM’s Tim Lovejoy, I have to comment on some bizarre sporting expressions being bandied about by Stateside commentators.

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It is becoming an annual tradition for Italian clubs to be thrown out of Europe at this time of the season (and then let in again in some instances). This season it is Lazio who many people want to be banned from the Uefa Cup after crowd violence and racist chanting overshadowed their 1-1 draw with Dinamo Bucharest on Tuesday night. Five Romanians were injured in clashes at the match and one remains in hospital after being stabbed in the side.

Becks found the net (and perhaps even more miraculously, the pitch) in LA Galaxy’s victory over DC United in the SuperLiga. The goal came on 28 minutes, and he also set up Landon Donovan for a second goal. Beckham, who was made captain for the game, lasted 63 minuted before he was substituted. He said: “It was nice to get the early goal, but it was not just about my goal and Landon’s goal. I think it was a team performance that was exceptional, we worked hard as a team and played hard as a team and we won as a team. So it was more pleasing for the performance.”

Portsmouth 1-1 Manchester United
Cristiano Ronaldo grimaces after being shown a red card for violent conduct.
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Jamie Carragher has confirmed that he will not return to international football. After finally getting a guaranteed first team place, the Scouse defender has decided he doesn’t want it – but is he sticking to his guns or shooting himself in the foot?.