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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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1 ‘Everyone’s very comfortable on the ball and almost all of them are athletic. We play what I call "orgy football": the other team know they’re going to get it, but they don’t know from whom or where from.’ Cardiff chairman Sam Hammam (pictured). Lovely image, Sam – you’re a poet 2 ‘He can smell round […]

More pearls of Hollo wisdom can be found in his latest column for BBC Sport. Our favourite this week: ‘I sent someone down to the joke shop to see if they could find a false bum, cut a hole in a pair of club shorts and stuck the plastic one in there. I told the […]

That Cruyff, always taking the piss. (Bob Pires and Terry Henry tried the same thing once and royally ballsed it up.)

Celtic’s Shaun Maloney is being linked with a move to Chelsea after the Blues’ sporting director Frank Arnesen was spotted at Parkhead for the Champions League win over Benfica. Reports in some Scottish papers suggested Jose Mourinho wants to make a move for the 23-year-old in January when he will be allowed to sign a […]

The navy and yellow-striped faithful of Fenerbahce are on Tyneside this evening alongside the black and white-striped regulars for a Uefa Cup tie. The Turkish club are currently celebrating their centenary season and this is the shirt designed to commemorate the occasion. You can buy it by clicking here. [Rob Parker]

Starting next week, Who Ate All the Pies will be revealing its 100 Greatest Ever Premiership Players. From next Monday, we’ll be doing 10 players a day, starting at 100 and working down to the Top 10. It’s the list to end all lists and we hope it’ll generate a lot of heated pub/water cooler […]

BREAKING NEWS: The FA has confirmed that no disciplinary action will arise after Sunday’s incredible Reading v Chelsea Premiership match, in which two Chelsea goalkeepers (Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini) were hospitalised. An FA statement said: ‘The FA has reviewed the incidents involving Stephen Hunt/Petr Cech and Ibrahima Sonko/Carlo Cudicini and has contacted referee Mike […]

Zola was a cheeky little scamp, wasn’t he? This lovely goal, scored for Chelsea against Norwich, sums him up perfectly.

Our favourite story from last weekend – and one I’ve been meaning to post all week – has to be the tale of the teenage twins hired to provide halftime entertainment at Hillsborough during Sheffield Wednesday against Barnsley. Francine and Nicola Gleadall, from Sheffield, made obscene gestures and swore at Barnsley supporters after performing their […]

A few conclusions drawn from last night’s Champions League heavyweight clash: 1 Barca’s bright-orange/gold away kit is nasty.2 Ronaldinho needs a haircut. Right now he’s like Samson in reverse – the longer his hair gets, the worse he plays. And ditch the terry-towelling hairband too. Not cool.3 Is there a less athletic-looking football superstar than […]

It is not a great surprise that Jose Mourinho has moved quickly to distance himself from reports linking Chelsea with a move for Fabien Barthez. It’s rumours like that which can ruin managerial reputations! With Carlo Cudicini almost ready to return and Hilario proving himself a capable understudy, there can’t be many options worse than […]

It’s March 1999 and Manchester United are well on their way to winning the treble. You know it’s going to be your season when even Gary Neville is getting on the scoresheet (at the right end too!). Here he is sliding the ball in from an acute angle against Everton. It demonstrates the type of […]

What gets your vote as the best Premiership goal of the week? Our vote goes to Gareth Barry’s beauty against Spurs, no question.

Watford fans had extra cause to leave the Emirates Stadium with a bitter taste in their mouths after the 3-0 defeat to Arsenal on Saturday. Readers of the BHappy blog smuggled lemons into the ground for no other reason than to have a laugh and have their picture taken with said citrus. As Pies reader […]

Non-league Stokesley Sports Club‘s new not-so-secret weapon is the 70-yard somersault throw in of Glenn Smith. The Great Britain gymnast performs a 360-degree flip before launching the ball into the danger area. The secret is now out though, after Stokesley scored from a Smith throw in assist. The 24-year-old sometimes launches the ball even further […]

Criminal that Le Tiss didn’t play more games for England. He truly was Guernsey’s answer to Eric Cantona. Sit back and enjoy…

Yellow Fever, a blog dedicated to Premiership newcomers Watford, is well-written and knows its stuff. It’s updated regularly (you usually get about a post a day) and we thoroughly recommend it to those Hornets fans who’ve not yet discovered it. A request to the author(s) – have a word with Aidy Boothroyd about his black […]

Miscellaneous

Kit Parade: Bordeaux

October 18th, 2006

This minimalist effort from Puma is ruined by a South Korean car manufacturer’s sew-on billboard clashing with the rest of the shirt (the logo-less version is much better). Bordeaux‘s traditional flying V – a look which can only be pulled off by them, Melchester Rovers and rugby league teams – is retained, but in a […]

‘…The utter c**t of a ref made Cech leave the pitch. Cech was practically unconscious, had taken a blow to the head hard enough to fracture his skull and the ref insisted he left the pitch. Unbelievable. The ref should be demoted to the Conference and Stephen Hunt should become rhyming slang.’ [Chelsea Blog]‘It’s definitely […]

Remember the video of a lycra-clad Wayne Rooney doing all manner of crazy things for a FIFA 07 motion capture session we showed you? Of course you do – you are probably all scarred for life. Anyway, here’s Ronaldinho doing a similar sort of thing. He might be the world’s most skillful football, but his […]

FC Copenhagen (or Kobenhavn if you prefer) are hosting Manchester United tonight in the Champions League. I’m not sure which kit they will be wearing – they have two European kits – but this is one of their options. The kit is supplied by Kappa, which means one thing (no, it isn’t that they don’t […]

Following our round-up of some goalkeeping divot disasters in the wake of the Paul Robinson incident, here is another beautiful howler from a match between Galatasaray and Besiktas. I’m not sure there’s even a bobble in this instance! [Rob Parker]

A group of Hearts fans gave the car of their Hibs-supporting mate a full paint job while he was attending the Edinburgh derby on Sunday. The Ford Fiesta was given a maroon makeover as owner Lee Easton watched his beloved Hibs. The car had been a birthday present from Lee’s father. The blue car was […]

Arsenal join the orderly queue forming behind one Sir Alex Ferguson for a sniff of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar [Sporting Life] Fulham plot a move for American World Cup star / rapper Clint Dempsey [Mirror] Duncan Disorderly fancies a move to Oz with Perth Glory [Mirror] Sheffield United, Blackburn and Manchester City in the hunt for Paraguay’s […]

Miscellaneous

Nike: Join the Chain

October 17th, 2006

Nike never stops in its quest to find new ways to sell you its shoes and sportswear. Its advertising and marketing divisions are huge machines, relentlessly moving forwards in a bid to obliterate the opposition – Adidas, Reebok et al. Its latest wheeze is called ‘Join the Chain’, a website which allows footballers around the […]