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Who ate all the pies

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Good to see that Quasimodo Beardo doesn’t mind having a good laugh at himself. That voice is painful to listen to, too. (They should bring back Fantasy Football too – I miss it.)

10 Emanuel Pogatetz (Middlesbrough)If you want commitment and the odd leg-breaking tackle, ‘Mad Dog’ Pogatetz is your man. Middlesbrough’s Austrian defender ‘never, ever gives less than 300%’ in games, according to former Boro coach Steve McClaren. Pogatetz is a versatile defender and can play at centre-half, as he has done this season, or left-back. He’s […]

Jose Mourinho might be disgruntled with Mike Riley’s performance in the match against Reading on Saturday, but he would do well to remember that we are well blessed in the Premier League when it comes to referees. A video of yet another bizarre decision from South America has been posted on YouTube. Despite the fact […]

‘I don’t want to see the back of him [Alan Pardew] because I think this is a case of everything going wrong, bad luck and loss of confidence. However there could be a ready made replacement with [Alan] Curbishley looking for work so maybe now is the right time – before its too late and […]

I confess that until today I knew little about Watford defender Jay DeMerit (pictured). His name rang a bell in my head, but only from a mistake he made at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday to gift Thierry Henry a goal in Arsenal’s 3-0 win. Of course, to Watford fans he will always be a […]

Miscellaneous

Bus Fare Home

October 16th, 2006

Aston Villa’s remarkable unbeaten start to the season is football’s equivalent of Jim Bowen’s ‘look what you could have won’. England fans are ‘smelling the leather’ of Martin O’Neill’s incredible motivational power and technical know-how. Saturday’s draw with Tottenham showed that despite one Colombian’s best efforts, Villa are capable of salvaging a game. Sadly, the […]

The News of the Screws ran an interesting story yesterday on the state of Roman Abramovich‘s marriage. If what they say is true (and there’s no guarantee of that), things look pretty bad for Roman, who could lose half of his dosh in a divorce settlement. His wife, Irina (pictured, left), has reportedly called in […]

It was the Hun’s bad luck to come up against a team that included Sylvester Stallone in goal and Pele up front. Here’s a clip of Pele impressing the pants off Michael Caine (playing the Bobby Moore role).

Wembley will be ready for 2007 FA Cup final. I’ll believe it when I see it [Telegraph] Manchester City read to pounce for Crewe youngster Billy Jones [Mirror] It’s exodus at Gresty Road. Late bloomer Luke Varney will follow Jones out of the door and head for Portsmouth, Aston Villa or Southampton [Clubcall] Liverpool and […]

Chelsea keeper Petr Cech is recovering in a neuro-surgical unit after suffering a depressed fracture of the skull against Reading. Was the injury inflicted deliberately by Stephen Hunt? My gut instinct is that with the adrenalin pumping just seconds after kick-off, Hunt went for a ball as if it was 50/50 when in fact it […]

Good weekendWayne Rooney A timely return to form for Wazza against Wigan.Gareth Southgate A win against Everton will have worked wonders for the under-pressure Boro boss.Bolton Came from behind to beat Newcastle 1-2 at St James’ Park. Bad weekendJuan Pablo Angel A missed penalty + an own goal + a missed sitter = not your […]

I went to see The Departed last night (good film to catch if you are heading to the cinema any time soon). Leonardo di Caprio’s character really reminded me of someone… [Rob Parker]

This ref is pretty tasty. [Via The Offside]

Bolton have taken the man dubbed ‘China’s Peter Crouch’ on a one-month trial. Striker Yang Changpeng it the world’s tallest footballer at 6ft 9in – a full two inches taller than Peter Crouch. The 19-year-old currently plays in China with Wuhan Huanghelou. The giant – whose legs are slightly more muscley than Crouch’s – will […]

I love it when ‘smaller’ teams get promoted to the Premier League and their fans’ ambitions stretch no further than fourth from bottom and a good time to be had by all. Teams such as Bradford City and Barnsley spring to mind, but Watford are determined to make a good go of it this season. […]

We can’t leave you this week without a mention of Crystal Palace – specifically their fans’ intention to wear orange for tomorrow’s home match against Cardiff City, in honour of permatanned chairman Simon Jordan (pictured), who has just bought Selhurst Park for £12m. It’ll be just like watching Holland.

One of the best lookalikes we’ve seen recently… [Via Left Back]

Left Back is one of our new favourite football blogs, probably because it reminds us a little of, well, us. Left Back takes a look at the lighter side of the beautiful game and features a nice mix of features, videos and humour. It’s updated at least once a day.

I thought goalkeepers were supposed to be part of some imagined union – surely Schmeichel should have let Safe Hands score? By the way, Safe Hands maybe, Safe Feet, definitely not. (Taken from the 1993 Charity Shield at Wembley)

Pies reader Pedro kindly sent us the lowdown on an interesting new sport that’s growing in popularity in Spain. It’s called BOSSABALL and it’s a crazy mix of football, volleyball and trampolining. Can’t see it taking off in Britain, but it looks like a laugh. For more info, check out this Bossaball website: LINK And […]

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

October 13th, 2006

1 Grimbsy Town, Everton, Sunderland, Burnley, Reading (current). Which journeyman’s career path?2 Which England international starred in a McDonald’s TV advert aged 13?3 Who is this bubble blower? 4 Which European club plays its home games at the Wankdorf Stadium?5 Liverpool, Arsenal, Arsenal, Arsenal, Chelsea, ______ (2006/7)? Complete the sequence.6 Brazil’s Nelson de Jesus Silva […]

This video shows Wayne Rooney – clad in a motion capture suit which doesn’t leave much to the imagination – boxing, skipping and popping balloons during a recording session for FIFA 2007. Why, you may well ask, is he doing all of these things for a football game? Sorry, were you expecting an answer?! I […]

Under-pressure Steve McClaren has hinted that he will run the rule over some of England‘s Under 21 players in the friendlies before the next Euro 2008 qualifier. "There are players in the Under-21s knocking on the door, we will be looking at them very, very closely," McClaren might have shouted to a baying pack of […]

The powers-that-be at FIFA have announced their usual long shortlist for the World Player of the Year award. I sometimes wonder whether they just trawl through last year’s list and cross off a few names they haven’t heard mentioned for a while. Frank Lampard? He had a relatively poor season and an appalling World Cup. […]

Peter Enckleman Aston Villa v Birmingham City