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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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With the news that Djimi Traore has joined Portsmouth from Charlton for £1m, let’s look at the great man in action. Slightly unfair to compare him to Zizou… but funny all the same. [Mof Gimmers]

Chelsea special one Jose Mourinho has accused the Stamford Bridge board of refusing to back him in the January transfer window. It would seem Jose doesn’t think he’s had enough money already! Reports have already suggested Mourinho could leave in the summer after a fall-out with owner Roman Abramovich and Mourinho said: "I’ve identified the […]

League Two side Wycombe Wanderers held Chelsea to a 1-1 draw in the first leg of their Carling Cup semi-final. A Jermaine Easter equaliser on 77 minutes was enough to keep the Chairboys in the tie ahead of the second-leg at Stamford Bridge on 23 January. Wayne Bridge had earlier put Chelsea in front with […]

Manchester City manager Stuart Pearce has insisted that Micah Richards, Sylvain Distin and Joey Barton will not be leaving the club. Rumours have been rife that the coveted trio are on their way out of Eastlands. Pearce told the Manchester Evening News: "We want to keep the top players. We have not had enquiries and […]

I don’t think we’ve featured this classic footballing moment before, but Bruce Grobbelaar and his wobbly legs is always worth seeing again. You surely need balls of steel to do something like this in a European Cup final… still, it paid off for Grobs as Liverpool beat Roma to lift the trophy.

I feel sorry for Birmingham City’s fans. I really do. The real ones are being kept out of the ground by over inflated ticket prices and they constantly live in the shadow of their arch rivals Aston Villa. Well, to make matters far worse, their own beloved club have shat on them as well with […]

Rafael Benitez has issued an apology to Liverpool fans following their 6-3 trouncing by Arsenal at Anfield last night: "It is a bad night for us all and all we can say is sorry to the supporters." He avoided blaming Jerzy Dudek for his first-half blunders, saying: "Now is not the time to point the […]

Following yesterday’s tribute to goalscoring Brazilian keeper Rogerio Ceni, it is time to remind ourselves of the goals of Peter Schmeichel. The red-nosed Dane is arguably the finest rush goalie to have graced the English game. He might not be as prolific as Rogerio, but he has still scored a couple of crackers. More football […]

Five Ipswich Town players have been disciplined for taking a two-day break in Amsterdam last week ahead of their FA Cup tie against Chester City. First team regulars Alan Lee and Gary Roberts, along with young fringe players Darryl Knights, Scott Barron and Chris Casement, are in hot water over the unauthorised jaunt. Ipswich boss […]

As Graeme Souness bids to buy Wolverhampton Wanderers, Pies celebrates some of English football’s more unusual and colourful owners.

A host of English and Scottish clubs are currently battling it out to capture 16-year-old Hamilton Academical wonderkid Jamie McCarthy. The midfielder/Neil Lennon Mini-Me scored his first senior goal against Livingston at the weekend.

The poor sound quality on this video from Baddiel and Skinner‘s Fantasy Football is worth putting up with to see some excellent funny football moments, including a goalkeeper’s goal to put even Rogerio Ceni to shame. [Rob Parker]

Coventry striker and kebab lover, Kevin Kyle, is facing two charges of breach of the peace following incidents in his hometown of Stranraer last year. A footballer? Being a rowdy bugger? Get outta town! The Scotland international, who joined the Championship outfit from Sunderland, is accused of shouting and swearing in the Harbour Street and […]

With Obafemi Martins being touted to Chelsea (and why not?), it’s worth noting that, in essence, Obi Martins has always been ace.  Want proof? Watch his first goal for Nigeria against Ireland when he was just a slip of a lad at 19 years old. Great pace and sweet finish with the outside of the […]

When I heard that Graham Souness was to take control of Wolves, I naturally thought it would be something like a fight to the death with an entire pack. Well, it isn’t. Old pig heart, Graeme Souness, has claimed that he’s made a £20m bid to take control of Wolves, despite the club denying the […]

So, the Fourth Round draw for the FA Cup has been made with some tasty looking ties. Notts Forest have been drawn away at Chelsea and will be looking to cause further upset after beating Charlton at the weekend, but the pick of the draw is Arsenal against Bolton. Always a feisty game, with El-Hadji […]

Thanks to some terrible photoshopping from me, Steve Bruce has become the country’s leading socialist after claims that the magic of the FA Cup is on the wane after inflated ticket prices kept real fans away from the grounds this weekend. Bruce said; "Third round day was always a big date in my diary but […]

Liverpool

Wembley heartbreak

January 8th, 2007

For the first time in years, fans could once again sing "Wemb-er-ley… Wemb-er-ley" as, with any luck, this season will see the FA Cup final go back to its spiritual home. Of course, Wembley doesn’t just hold great memories, but some heartbreaking ones too… that’s what the national stadium is all about.

You heard it here first! Henrik Larsson will not be joining mid-table League Two outfit Bristol Rovers until the end of the season. Confirmation came from Larsson’s coach at Helsingborgs, Stuart Baxter, who said the Swedish striker might stay on loan at Manchester United until May.

This slap-fest happened at the end of Real Zaragoza‘s 2-1 win over Sevilla on Saturday evening. Luis Fabiano and Carlos Diogo enjoy a quick kiss, before Diogo throws one half-decent punch. It’s slaps all the way from there! More fighting from Latin football [Rob Parker]

Good weekendSwansea The League One outfit secured an impressive 0-3 away win at Sheffield United.Nottingham Forest Another League One side to beat Premiership opposition. Forest saw off Charlton with a 2-0 victory at the City Ground.Henrik Larsson A goal on his Manchester United debut as they beat Aston Villa 2-1. Bad weekendEverton Suffered a 1-4 […]

Kevin Nolan’s column for the BBC is one of most thrilling reads this century. Of course, I am lying through my back teeth. It’s terrible and amazingly dull. To point this out, I’ve lifted a passage from the Q&A section Kevin has at the end of every column. Brace yourself. Q Hi Kevin I have […]

With Alan Pardew saying "There has been some interest in Darren [Bent]. A short time ago, my decision would have been to say quite categorically he wasn’t going anywhere… But his knee injury has made me think a bit differently," he’s basically saying "does anyone fancy giving us some money for a player who wrecked […]

Once upon a time, there was this kid who played in Germany. He played a few games for England out of position and got booed. Then he played in his preferred role and everyone loved him. Including Manchester United, who have now been told by Bayern Munich that will consider selling Owen Hargreaves for less […]

This funny incident from New Year’s Day suggests Portsmouth‘s Sean Davis isn’t convinced the contact he made with Tottenham‘s Lee Young-Pyo was forceful enough to require a swallow dive. Davis gives the South Korean a taste of his own medicine, much to the approval of the onlooking Pompey fans! [Rob Parker]