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TH14 – the goals 2

June 26th, 2007

He may be gone but at least we’ve still got the memories of arguably the greatest foreign import ever to grace the Premiership.
Thierry scored a record breaking 226 goals for his old flame Arsenal and tap-ins were about as rare as a Henry header. Our second great goal from the French master even seems to defy physics with a cheeky back heel scored against Charlton, 2004.

Carlos Bocanegra and Frankie Hejduk (shirtless) celebrate the USA’s 2-1 win against Mexico in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final at Soldier Field, Chicago. [Photo: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images]
And here’s a link to a behind-the-scenes video of the post-match celebrations. That’s one motherf**king big crunk chalice those guys are drinking from… LINK

57247935.jpgNot content with signing Thierry Henry, Barcelona have also shelled out around €10m on Monaco’s Yaya Toure, younger brother of a certain Kolo Toure. Yaya, once hailed as the ‘new Patrick Vieira’ bu his elder bro, is a central midfielder and very much the ideal modern footballer: he plays box-to-box, is supremely athletic, very capable on the ball and there are no obvious weaknesses to his game. I think he’s a great signing for Barca, who are lacking the Makelele-type figure to hold their attack-minded midfield together.

The Copa America gets under way in Venezuela tonight with Uruguay facing Peru and the hosts taking on Bolivia. The tournament lasts until July 15, by which time most of your teams will be well into their pre-season and the next campaign in sight! Here are the highlights of the last Copa America final from 2004 when big-guns Brazil and Argentina faced each other.

David%20Beckham%20american.JPGDavid Beckham has begun work on his brief to save soccer in the USA – by playing American football. Becks donned a New Orleans Saints helmet, pads and kit to play with the Saints’ running back Reggie Bush.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Thierry!

ThierryHenryquotes.jpg1 “In my head I’m still an Arsenal player and my departure is not a current issue.”
Responding to speculation linking him with a move to Barca a couple of weeks ago with a very honest answer…

crown.jpgLeague Two outfit Accrington Stanley might be one of the few Football League clubs who won’t mind too much if their fans turn up to games paralytic – it will help to pay the players’ wages! Stanley have taken over a pub with profits from behind the bar going straight into the club.

Thierry Henry enters the Camp Nou stadium after signing for Barcelona.
[Photo: Denis Doyle/Getty Images]

Now that he’s actually left, it’s not just the Gooners that will miss the mercurial talents of Monsieur Henry. We can do without the his hands on hips sulking, love of girls’ cars and the arrogant, brooding celebrations…but we’ll miss the goals.

Less than a week after compiled our top 10 footballers with rude names and it emerges that Celtic’s scouts have unearthed another gem. The Bhoys are apparently interested in making a move for the hermaphoditically-named Rod Fanni. The Nice defender is keen to switch clubs to secure Champions League football.

Serial pitch invader turned minor celebrity Jimmy Jump gives TH14 his first Barcelona shirt during the Arsenal v Villareal Champions League semi-final in 2006. It seems pretty obvious now that Henry wanted to move to Barca last season and only the effect that losing a Champions League final to them had on his emotional Gallic self prevented him from doing so.

USA won the CONCACAF Gold Cup by defeating Mexico 2-1 yesterday. Mexico took the lead through Andres Guardado on the stroke of half-time before Landon Donovan equalised from the penalty spot on 62 minutes. The stunning volley from Brazilian-born midfielder Benny Feilhaber shown in the video below settled the tournament. USA have now won the Gold Cup four times. Both Gold Cup finalists will now take part in the Copa America tournament in Venezuela as invited guests.

More cringey YouTube footage courtesy of the hilariously useless Chelsea TV. This time it’s a Q&A session with the Blues’ most intelligent player, Frank Lampard. Continuing the homoerotic theme of Frank’s Chelsea TV appearances, in this erm… outing Arjen Robben’s underwear gets a special mention.

petercrouchsun.jpgLiverpool and England striker Peter Crouch could follow Thierry Henry to Spain if Atletico Madrid get their way. The Spanish outfit want to bring Crouch to La Liga as part of any deal that takes Fernando Torres to Anfield. The Daily Star reports that Real’s city rivals would love the lump the ball up to the 6ft 7in striker.

I tried to do this myself, but ended up flat on my face. Much more difficult than it looks – it’s the football equivalent of rubbing your stomach whilst patting your head, only about 10 times more difficult. I’d love to see him pass to Ronaldinho like this…


Who knows where Thierry picked up this mother of all boomboxes – Tandy? What I do know is that he was listening to MC Hammer when this photo was taken. Or Musical Youth.

‘Arsenal will always be in my blood…’ Sniff, stop it Thierry, I’m welling up here…

Thierry Henry poses for the media outside the FC Barcelona office, on June 24, 2007. Henry will undergo a medical today before he is unveiled as a Barcelona player. Nice cardigan, Thierry.
[Photo: Bagu Blanco/Getty Images]


Our Mark Webber/David Nugent Shit Lookalike earlier today was just too damn good. It simply did not meet the low standards of poor quality lookalikes that Pies readers have come to expect. Here is another Who Ate All The Pies Shit Lookalke which is much more true to form: Alan Smith and Brooklyn Beckham. Smudger is set to join Newcastle in a £3.5 million deal, but nobody is currently interested in signing Brooklyn as far as we know.


As you might expect, Dimitar Berbatov features prominently. Is Paul Robinson’s freak goal in there too? You’ll have to watch below to find out…

This isn’t shit, is it? We think it’s actually quite good.

US midfielder Frankie Hejduk fights for the ball with Canada’s Atiba Hutchinson during the CONCACAF Gold Cup semi final at Soldier Field on June 21, 2007 in Chicago. USA won 2-1; Pies will post video highlights later today.
[Photo: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images]