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Who ate all the pies

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75417670.jpgIt seems they’ve tried everything but bionic body parts to try and restore Andriy Shevchenko to his former glory at Stamford Bridge – including enlisting the help of former athlete, Darren Campbell, to remind him how to run.

April 1978 George Best presents Pele (he’s the one wearing the red ‘sports suit’) with a plaque commemorating the Brazilian as the best football player in the world during ‘Pele Appreciation Day’ at the Rose Bowl in Pasedena, California. A friendly match was played between the LA Aztecs and NY Cosmos to mark the occasion. […]

77498402.jpgThe season’s longest running managerial soap opera is finally over as Martin Jol has quit as Spurs manager after his side’s 2-1 loss at home against Getafe in the UEFA Cup.

It’s Robbie Savage against Cristiano Ronaldo and their area of specialty is unsurprisingly themselves – so, “Mirror, mirror on the wall – who is the vainest footballer of them all?”

Let us know if you can come up with a better caption for poor Smudger

Fair play to The Sun sub-editor who came up with this headline. Give that man/woman a raise.

Even on this YouTube video, you can hear the oohs and aahs of anticipation from the Southampton fans every time Walcott gets the ball. His feet were clearly faster than his brain, but Arsene Wenger is seeing to it that Walcott turns into a talent England can be proud of.

Little Lionel Messi, probably the best player in the world right now, has accused Rangers of playing ‘anti-football’, after the Scottish club held Messi’s Barcelona to a 0-0 draw at Ibrox on Tuesday in the Champions League. Messi said: ‘It’s incredible. Rangers didn’t want to play football. They practised anti-football from the first minute and […]

Steve Bull of England drops to his knees to celebrate scoring a goal during a Rous Cup match against Scotland at Hampden Park 1989. England won the game 2-0, in what was to be the last playing of the Rous Cup. Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne (complete with chubby frame and mini mullet) is in the background, […]

The party line when Roman Abramovich decided to solve a problem like Mourinho was that he wanted his team to play more attractive football – but several games down the line under new management, is there really any difference?

How to lose friends and alienate people in Holland – take a remote control into bars and turn the TV off while everyone is watching the game. This guy deserves a kicking!

73869663.jpgWhy’s it always strikers who throw their toys out of the pram first when things go wrong at a club?
Should clubs be taking a tougher stance with despondent players, whether they are scoring or not?

77486100.jpgLiverpool’s nightmare run in the Champions League continued last night when they lost 2-1 to Besiktas in Turkey. That leaves the club with only one point from their first theree games and their hopes of reaching the knockout stages clinging by a thread.

Chelsea’s have rediscovered their form since beating Valencia in their previous match in this competition and Stamford Bridge has long been considered a fortress under Mourinho.

Liverpool have yet to win a Champions League game this season so nothing less than a win will do tonight and, although they won the 2005 final in Istanbul, they’ve never beaten a Turkish team away.

But, while art may have no problem imitating sport, putting a footballer in front of a camera has rarely leads to studs treading the red carpet come Oscar night.

Both are studious types in charge of a collection of young children…

77460907.jpgEveryone, except maybe the most tongue-tied Spurs fan, has been waxing lyrical about Arsenal all season – apparently Wenger’s boys have taken the beautiful game and given it an even more stylish makeover.

John Cleese, doing a fine impression of your average English football pro.

Scotland have risen one place to 13th in FIFA’s world rankings, their highest position since the rankings were introduced in 1993. The Jocks are now just two spots behind England who dropped down to 11th on the back of that defeat in Russia. Many Scottish fans – and no doubt some English fans too – […]

Didier Drogba and former England rugby union captain Martin Johnson pose at Stamford Bridge in NFL uniforms to promote the match between the NY Giants and Miami Dolphins, which will be played at Wembley Stadium on October 28th. Hmm, there must be a good caption or two in there… Photo Christopher Lee/Getty Images

Today’s most interesting/ridiculous/made-up in the pub football stories: Spurs have lined up Blackburn boss Mark Hughes to replace Martin Jol, if the struggling North Londoners fail to win at home against Rovers on Sunday. Will it happen? Not a chance. There’s no way Rovers will let Sparky go to Spurs – and I’m confident Hughes […]

The first in a Top Trumps-style series of Head to Heads pitches Mad Jens against the Drog. The category in question? Arrogance, which would obviously be the strongest suit of both players. So, who do you think is the more arrogant player (vote below)? Lehmann clearly thinks the sun shines out of every orifice of […]

The Dynamo Kiev defender has obviously attended the Didier Drogba school of style – step away from the straighteners!

A packed schedule of Championship fixtures last night, with a few results standing out: Plymouth Argyle earned a great 2-1 away win at Charlton (pictured, left), which moves the in-form Pilgrims above Athletic in the table, into fourth spot. The match was a feisty affair, with ten bookings, but that didn’t bother Argyle boss Ian […]