• Top Six: missing stars at Euro 2008 May 28th, 2008 Top 10s & lists

    Big names who won’t be in Austria/Switzerland next month (from nations that have qualified) Raul (Spain) The Real Madrid captain failed to make the Spanish squad after falling out with head coach Luis Aragones following the 3-2 loss to Northern Ireland in 2006, during the Euro 2008 qualifying campaign. Will Spain miss him? Probably not, […]

  • Horror Hair: Miguel Veloso May 28th, 2008 Horror Hair
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    There could be fresh Horror Hair talent on the way to the Premier League in the shape of Sporting Lisbon midfielder Miguel Veloso. The Manchester United, and now Bolton target has a proven track record of bad barnets. The Portuguese international used to favour the scraped back greasy ponytail look, but his current offering is just as bad. Like a hedgehog with a mullet.

  • Top six transfer rumours, 28 May: Miguel Veloso to Bolton, and other gossip May 28th, 2008 Bolton Wanderers

    Meg loves Mig 4eva?


    1. Miguel Veloso to Bolton
    Gary Megson is hoping to jump the queue to sign Manchester United target Veloso. The Sporting Lisbon midfielder would cost £16 million. [The Sun]

  • Vote: Who should be Chelsea’s next manager? May 28th, 2008 Chelsea

    The race to become Chelsea’s new boss… Some very big names are reportedly on the shortlist to replace Avram Grant as Chelea’s new manager: including ex-Inter boss Roberto Mancini, Felipe Scolari, Mark Hughes and – surprise surprise – Jose Mourinho. Didier Deschamps also claims to be on the list, but I can’t see that happening, […]

  • There’s Only One: Ilie Dumitrescu May 28th, 2008 Tottenham Hotspur

    THEN: Dumitrescu arrived in the Premier League after some outstanding performances at the 1994 World Cup which saw him help Romania to the quarter-finals. Tottenham paid £2.6 million to bring the midfielder to England from Steaua Bucharest, where he had spent the first eight years of his professional career. The start of his career in England was overshadowed by a story in the News of the World that he had requested the services of a prostitute. He went in exile/on-loan to Sevilla after a brief but fairly successful spell for Spurs. He returned for the start of the 1995-96 season and played a handful of games before being flogged to West Ham. His Hammers career was short-lived and Dumitrescu was soon fleeing the tackling habits of Premier League defenders to continue career in Mexico with Club America.

  • Man Utd sell Gerard Pique: a good decision? May 28th, 2008 Man Utd

    Fergie makes £6m on Spanish defender – but should he have kept him? Barcelona have just re-signed Gerard Pique from Man Utd, for a fee reported to be around £6m. Pique is only 21 and he failed to break into United’s first team – not a great surprise, given the stellar form of Rio Ferdinand […]

  • Kit Parade: New Arsenal kits for 2008/09 season… Or another fake? May 28th, 2008 Arsenal

    Is this what Arsenal will be wearing next season? This is a “leaked” photo of Arsenal’s new home and away kits for the 2008/09 campaign. It’s been floating around the web for a while now, but I’m still suspicious of the photos’ authenticity. To my eyes, the kits look unfinished, amateurish even – especially for […]

  • In photos: England prepare for USA friendly May 27th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    Another meaningless friendly international? You bet! David Beckham, talking to sleeve, stretching groin.

  • Euro 2008: Holland’s stars get dirty May 27th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    Van der Sar and team-mates muddy-up for Dutch newspaper Scared? I was, when I saw this photo of Edwin van der Sar, taken for AD’s Euro 2008 supplement. When the photographer, Erwin Olaf, was asked how he described the shoot to the players, he said: “…they would be portrayed as lust objects, that there were […]

  • There’s Only One: Eddie Newton May 27th, 2008 Chelsea

    Remembering the poor man’s Makelele THEN In his time at Chelsea (1990-99), Newton earned a reputation as a reliable squad player, best utilised in a defensive midfield role. In many ways, he can now be viewed as the poor man’s Claude Makelele. He graduated to Chelsea’s senior squad from the club’s youth system, and enjoyed […]

  • Versus: John Terry vs Rio Ferdinand, who can lead England to the 2010 World Cup? May 27th, 2008 Chelsea

    Which central defender deserves the England armband? Don Capello has chosen JT to skipper England for their next game, a meaningless friendly against the USA, presumably as a consolation prize for spunking the CL final up the wall. But is Terry the best long-term candidate? Let’s see… JOHN TERRY Strengths Indestructible, fearless, passionate, great in […]

  • COMPETITION Win tickets to watch Ireland vs Colombia at Craven Cottage! May 27th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    Ticket-text.com, Europe’s leading mobile ticketing company, has teamed up with Pies to offer readers the chance to watch the Republic of Ireland v Colombia international match at Craven Cottage on Thursday May 29th. It’s the perfect opportunity for football fans to watch a cracking friendly while also experiencing the latest in ticketing technology with two […]

  • Shit Lookalikes: Gaizka Mendieta & Harry Dunne from Dumb and Dumber May 27th, 2008 Lookalikes

    Boro’s forgotten star versus Jeff Daniels’ retard Thanks to Pies reader Dan Chubb for this one. More Shit Lookalikes

  • Top Six: Avram Grant quotes May 27th, 2008 Chelsea

    Despite losing the title on the final day of the season and the Champions League only because of a John Terry slip, Chelsea sacked Avram Grant at the weekend. Given that his main downfall (apart from failing to entertain the Roman Emperor sufficiently) was not living up to the charisma of Jose Mourinho, we thought the best way to mark his departure was his top quotes.

  • Top six transfer rumours, 27 May: Fernando Torres to Chelsea, and other gossip May 27th, 2008 Top 10s & lists

    How many managers does it take to spend £50 million? None, apparently.

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  • Wonder goal – David Beckham scores from 70 yards May 27th, 2008 Skills

    La Galaxy’s David Beckham scored from 70 yards in his side’s 3-1 victory over Kansas City Wizards. The ex-England skipper fired into an empty net after WIzards keeper Kevin Hartman had gone forward for a corner to press for an equaliser. The goal was scored from further out than Beckham’s unforgettable long-range effort against Wimbledon.

  • Shit Kits: Hull City, 1993 May 27th, 2008 Kits & fashion
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    Welcome to the Premier League, Hull City! The Championship play-off winners will be bringing their own unique brand of style and class to top-flight football for the first time in their history. We could not let the occasion pass without celebrating their 1993 kit, which is probably the worst football kit of all time. Although, it is so bad that it is actually quite endearing. Pity the poor kit designer whose lightbulb moment was preceded by the sentence, “So your nickname is the Tigers, eh?” Pity also the Hull fans who had to trek around the country looking like a squadron of cheap hookers.

  • BBC slash Celtic’s transfer budget May 24th, 2008 Transfers & Rumours
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    We have heard of managers achieving success on a shoestring budget, but the BBC is expecting Gordon Strachan to work miracles at Celtic. According to today’s Gossip Column, the Bhoys boss will be handed a 20 quid transfer kitty in the summer. That’s barely even enough to treat Artur Boruc to a new controversial t-shirt.

  • GIF of the week: Did John Terry spit at Carlos Tevez? May 23rd, 2008 Chelsea

    Well, you can make your own minds up from this GIF. Just what is JT doing behind that sleeve? If he was trying to hide it from the referee, it is far from subtle. Anyway you can mull it over and let us know. Enjoy your Bank Holiday weekend (unless you live in a country that does not have one, in which case enjoy your normal weekend. And if you live in a country that doesn’t have a normal weekend, move).

  • Fiendish Friday Quiz May 23rd, 2008 Games

    Flexing your football brain at Friday lunch-time
    1. Career path Chelsea, Blackburn, West Ham, Fulham (current)
    2. Multiple choice How many of Man Yoo’s 18-man squad for the 1999 Champions League final are still at the club?
    a) two, b) three, c) four, d) five
    3. Picture round Who’s the chap with mic in the head?

  • Should Manchester United be allowed to have a victory parade? May 23rd, 2008 Champions League

    Manchester United fans are fuming after being denied a Champions League victory parade because Greater Manchester Police and Manchester City Council are still scraping drunken Glaswegians off the pavements following the Uefa Cup final. It seems very harsh that Man Yoo fans cannot celebrate a fantastic double with the traditional open-top bus tour. In fact it is so unfair that I have devised two contingency plans.

  • Who the hell is… Samir Nasri? May 23rd, 2008 Arsenal

    Arsenal are on the verge of signing French youngster Samir Nasri so we had better give you the lowdown.

    samir nasri.jpg

    Name Samir Nasri
    Age 20
    Nationality French
    Club history Marseille

  • Shit Kits: Tottenham, 1985 May 23rd, 2008 Kits & fashion

    Spurs went for motorway chic with this mid-1980s kit. The design, courtesy of Danish company Hummel, features not only chevrons but also a hatched area across the chest. Dribbling round this lot must have felt like a tour of the M25. The chevrons across the middle of the shirt are very useful, but I’m sure […]

  • Top six transfer rumours, 23 May: Robinho to Chelsea, and other gossip May 23rd, 2008 Chelsea

    Thierry Henry to Spurs? Surely not…


    1. Robinho to Chelsea
    The Real Madrid star’s agent has flown to London to generate a transfer to one of the Premier League’s big boys, and Chelsea are front of the key. Real are reluctant to sell, but that will count for little if the pint-sized Brazilian wants to move. [Telegraph]

  • There’s Only One: Gudni Bergsson May 23rd, 2008 Bolton Wanderers

    Time for another stroll down Memory Lane (via Iceland).

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