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Who ate all the pies

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The draw for the first knockout stage of the Champions League has been made. I intended to tell you what the tie of the round is, but they all look so lip-smackingly delicious I can’t decide! The draw in full is: Porto v CHELSEA – Mourinho heads back to the club he won the title […]

Here are some extra special News Balls dedicated to Les Reed and Alan Curbishley: the men everyone is talking about, apparently! Les warns Alan Curbishley off Darren Bent Why Steven Gerrard hates Les Curbs wants to sign Nigel Reo-Coker And Curbs faces challenge to win over Paul Konchesky [Rob Parker]

Doing my best to translate some Spanish (which I don’t speak at all), this clip seems to be involving a player from Cameroon who goes by the name of Kalusha Bwalya. Well, in this incident, the player majestically runs the full length of the pitch with a gaping goal and… well… makes a right balls […]

Marco Tardelli. Falcao. Lua Lua. They’ve all got something in common. They are as well known for their goal celebrations as they are their prowess on the pitch. Perhaps we should add another name to that. Robbie Fowler. Fowler’s ‘touch-line…

http://www.mccallsmokejumpers.org/history/eagle%20parachute%201944.jpg The Premier League bigwigs have ruled out the chance to use foreign referees to officiate in high profile top-flight matches. Didn’t know this could happen? Well, recently German referee Michael Weiner took charge of a Bulgarian league game between Litex Lovech and Levski Sofia.

Over the years the Liverpool fancy dress party has become as much a part of the festive season as the Queen’s speech or hearing the same songs incessantly no matter which shop you go in. While the Reds’ Spice Boys of the mid-1990s did it in style, the class of ’06 proved they are no […]

The FA is set to lobby Fifa for the introduction of video replays to identify and punish players guilty of diving. Football’s world governing body is set to meet in March and the FA hopes to raise the issue then. “We’ve already asked Fifa to allow retrospective…

http://soccernet-att.espn.go.com/design05/images/domr/AlanCurbishley205_pc_g.jpg Well, with alarming predictability, Alan Curbishley has been unveiled as the new manager of West Ham United. Chairman Egg’ Magnusson moved sharply to appoint the former Charlton gaffer after sacking Alan Pardew on Monday. “I’m deeply delighted,” said Curbishley. “It’s a privilege to be here and I’m looking forward to lifting us out of the position we’re in.” Curbishley will take charge of his new squad for the first time against Manchester United on Sunday. Welcome to the deep end Alan…

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/arash_markazi/10/07/hot.read/p1_lampard.jpg Frank Lampard is the master of saying nasty things according to Mad Jens Lehmann. Well, judging from the tepid tyrade from Fat Frank, I’m inclined to disagree. Apparently, the ker-azy German goalie “shows no respect” to anyone on the pitch…

http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/03/21/bramble_titus_nufc_profile_2005.jpg Newcastle United ditherer Glenn Roeder has revealed that the Titus Bramble has spent eight days in hospital after an alarming flare-up in his injured calf. The 25-year-old’s lower leg swelled to twice its normal size days after he picked up a knock during the 0-0 UEFA Cup draw with Eintracht Frankfurt.

The nineties, for us Brits, were the golden era for Serie A (not that the Italians are bad now). Mainly because it was shown on our tellies on in the morning with that famed GOOOOLLLLLAAAAAZOOOO! theme. Some of European football‘s greatest goals were scored in the decade that saw the Italian’s host the World Cup… […]

Wayne Rooney came close to picking up another metatarsal injury on Monday night as his right-foot felt the full weight of Boston Celtics player Paul Pierce. The 17-stone NBA star fell on the foot – which Rooney injured shortly before the World Cup – as he stretched for a ball against New York Knicks. Wazza […]

England boss Steve McClaren has resorted to scouring the Premiership mid-table and the SPL as he aims to get his prima donnas’ faltering Euro 2008 qualification campaign back on track. It is reported McClaren will be asking several squad members to turn the other cheek to Joey Barton. The Manchester City midfielder criticised England players […]

China goalkeeper Wang Dalei runs away to celebrate saving a penalty in a shootout against Iran in the quarter-finals of the 2006 Asian Games, despite the fact the ball went in off his legs! [Rob Parker]

Do you ever wonder what might have been if the ref had awarded your side that last minute penalty or his assistant had noticed the opposition’s striker was five yards offside? Well, The Right Result is a website which seeks to correct refereeing errors. Users vote on contentious decisions from recent games and – if […]

Imagine. You play for Northern Ireland. You’re playing at the World Cup finals in the blistering heat of Mexico. You’re playing against Brazil… who, as we know, are a bit good. Then, just as you settle down, someone you’ve never heard of called Josimar does this to you. Enough to make you throw the towel […]

Miscellaneous

Quotes of the Week

December 12th, 2006

Goran Ivanisevic… wait! It’s about football honest! I’ll start again… Huge massive great big football fan, Goran Ivanisevic played in the final of of the Masters tennis tournament in London sporting a West Bromich Albion shirt. He said: "I am a West Bromwich Albion fan, all the players in the team signed this shirt for […]

With all this talk of Alan Pardew, it’s perhaps the perfect time to recall a peak in his career. Before his management days, he liked to play a bit of football. His greatest match came for Crystal Palace against the mighty Liverpool side of the late nineties…

http://www.arsenal.com/Images/g/ground_everton.jpg The Everton chief exec’ Keith Wyness has spoken in an attempt to calm fans’ fears over plans to move to a new stadium out of Liverpool. The Merseyside club are currently in talks about relocating to Kirkby but Wyness told BBC Five Live the fans’ concerns about moving out of Liverpool would be considered. He added: “This option is a good one, in terms of transport links and the financial package, and it’s something we thought we must explore further. But redeveloping Goodison Park may well be the way ahead in the end.”…

There is a distinct increase in volume of newspaper football gossip today as greedy managers start tapping on the transfer window and pleading for someone to open it. Although the window will remain shut until January, click below for a round-up of all the latest transfer rumours.

http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/03/11/pardew_alan_whfc_profile_2005new.jpg Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. West Ham have announced that they will make a statement regarding the future of boss Alan Pardew at 2.15pm (GMT) on Monday. The Hammers have struggled all season and are currently in 18th place in the Premiership following Saturday’s 4-0 annihilation at the hands of Bolton Wanderers…

Attention Pompey fans. You’re probably still laughing yourselves stupid at your loftly position in the league aren’t you? Quite right too… lap it up. To make your memories of the weekend even sweeter, watch Matthew Taylor’s sublime 45 yard volley again. Chelsea and Arsenal can keep their amateur dramatics eh? [Mof Gimmers]

http://images.scotsman.com/2005/10/03/03preb.jpg Heart of Midlothian is without doubt, the most bonkers club in Europe at the minute. With the insane ramblings of chairman Vladimir Romanov (click here and here for examples), they’ve managed to retain the mental one, and lose one of their best players, club captain Stephen Pressley…

Does this even count as handbags? Handbags is a bit too manly to describe the shenanigans between Jens Lehmann and Didier Drogba in yesterday’s Chelsea-Arsenal match. Try to keep a straight face as they drag football’s reputation through the Stamford Bridge mud! Both players were booked in the end (for diving I sincerely hope, and […]

Bradford City fanzine The City Gent has created a special Leeds United edition just in time for Christmas. The Super L666ds tribute book features no less than 36 blank pages. Billed as "diligent and exacting" and "Everything you ever wanted to know about the not so massive club that was Super L666ds," the book is […]