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Who ate all the pies

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Not our selection (we would have added Nelson’s thunderous effort against Man Utd) but still some fine goals in there.

Part-time musician and full-time waster Pete Doherty was courting controversy as ever at the celebrity Soccer Six tournament by snorting the touchlines. On a rare break from his busy schedule of magistrates’ court appearances, the Babyshambles frontman adapted the Robbie Fowler celebration for his erm… personal use.

Paisley.jpgThe gang at RetroFootballTshirts have a fine array of Liverpool-related retro t-shirts while we are in full Scouse swing ahead of the Champions League final. They include a series of quote t-shirts from the oh-so-quoteable Anfield bosses of yesteryear. This one from Bob Paisley proclaims: “If you don’t know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we’ll discuss the options later.” Sound advice as the Reds ahead of their big night in Athens. Click here to buy it.

The worst kept secret in football since Jose Mourinho and Ashley Cole thought they would get a quiet cuppa together has at last being confirmed. Reading midfielder Steve Sidwell will be sidling his way to Stamford Bridge quicker than you can say Jean-Marc Bosman.

Pies’ favourite all-action midfielder gets the ball under control as AC Milan prepare to take on Liverpool in the Champions League final in Athens tonight.

Tonight’s Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool is being billed as a battle between the Supermen of either side – Kaka and Steven Gerrard. But when the Brazilian turned up to his side’s hotel in Athens he was looking more Clark Kent than Superman.

52979752.jpgAC Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti has accused Steven Gerrard of talking ‘bollocks’ ahead of tomorrow’s Champions League final in Athens. Gerrard famously claimed Milan prematurely celebrated victory at half-time in the 2005 final when they led Liverpool 3-0.

This remains the absolute highlight of the pulsating Champions League tie in the 1999/00 season:

73201155.jpgEdwin van der Sar had a poor FA Cup final and generally looked shaky in the second half of the season. The lanky Dutchman is 36 now and probably has one more season left in him at Old Trafford. But will Alex Ferguson trust him to be his No.1 keeper next season, or will he turn to Ben Foster, back from a loan spell at Watford? A third option is Tomasz Kuszczak, or Ferguson could even buy another stopper, perhaps Craig Gordon from Hearts. And don’t forget John O’Shea and Rio Ferdinand have also worn the green jersey this season.

Official FA spokesman erm… Thierry Henry has said that David Beckham’s Real Madrid form is worthy of an England recall. The Arsenal striker said: “I don’t want to say anything controversial, because to be the England manager is probably the hardest job in the country and you have to respect Steve McClaren’s choice. But maybe when David was playing for England, people took him for granted. As soon as he’s not playing people call for him to be recalled and that speaks volumes.”
Are you having that, Pies readers?

There are so many things you could say about this incredible stoppage time comeback but I am fairly certain Clive Tyldesley owns the copyright for most of them, which is hardly surprising given that he makes a living out of talking about this match over the top of television pictures of other matches. Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will always have a special place in the hearts of Man Yoo fans. This did win them the Treble after all.

The photo of Musafar, the singing and dancing midget from Iran, doesn’t do justice to him, so watch this video for the full lookalike magic…

57551546.jpgName Gemma Atkinson
Nationality British
WAG of… Gemma is the lucky lucky girl who competes with a mirror for the affection of Cristiano Ronaldo. Several sources have claimed the pair are an item, although Ronaldo’s sister recently said he has no girlfriend, so who knows?

Despite serving up the dreariest final in the history of the competition, there were some cracking goals scored in the FA Cup this season…


Chelsea%20tshirt.JPGThe latest top off the TShirts365 production line is perfect for Chelsea fans and postcode enthusiasts everywhere. The SW6 2CUPS t-shirt works on many levels, well two levels to be precise. Anyway, celebrate the double-winning triumph (ie winning the two trophies Jose Mourinho least wanted at the start of the season!) for just £14.99. Click here to buy it. And watch this space for a Jose’s dog t-shirt!

chris%20blackburn.JPGGracing the Football League next year following Morecambe’s promotion is the greasy Horror Hair of defender Chris Blackburn. The Shrimps are in the League for the first time after beating Exeter in the Conference play-off at the weekend. And joining them in League Two next season will be Blackburn’s grunge-tastic locks.

Brazilian legend (in the world of partying if not football) Romario has bagged his 1,000th goal, or so he claims. While he had a jubilant 15-minute celebration to mark the occasion, the feat was a little tainted by the fact that the veteran striker use the Pele method of goal-tallying. Under this technique, pre-season goals, youth team goals and thunderous strikes against a hapless nephew in the back garden all count towards your total. Here is the momentous occasion, which came courtesy of a penalty.

Junior Belletti’s winner secured last season’s Champions League for Barcelona as they saw off Arsenal. After Sol Campbell’s goal put the Gunners in front, Samuel Eto’o pulled one back and Belletti did the rest.

gordon.jpgThe weekend papers linked Heart goalkeeper Craig Gordon with a move to Manchester United. If there is any truth in the rumours, the likes of Thomas Kuszczak and Ben Foster must be scratching their heads. Edwin van der Sar remains one of the best keepers in the Premiership; Kuszczak has never really let them down when he has stepped in and Ben Foster is pushing to be England’s number one.

Chelsea fans unveiled a banner at the FA Cup final in support of Jose Mourinho’s pet dog Gullit. Pies brought you news of the Special One’s arrest and caution last week.

Nytol.jpgThe FA Cup final sponsored by Nytol was certainly the worst I can remember. At least the 0-0 between Manchester United and Arsenal in 2005 had some incident and intensity. This snoozefest was like a testimonial but without the fun and without the goals! It was played mostly at walking pace with no enthusiasm and no desire to create chances. Never mind an English FA Cup final, it looked like two Italian sides who both thought they had got a 1-0 lead!

pie_footy_203x152.jpgScience boffins have found that each fan at tomorrow’s FA Cup final will leave an eco-footprint 10 times the size of that of a fan watching the game at home. And the main reason for this? The humble half-time pie and beer apparently. Andrea Collins of Cardiff University said: “They are highly processed food and drink products which require a lot of energy to produce.”

tommy.jpgThey think it’s all over… it is now! The winner of the inaugural Pies Fantasy League is Tommy. He has been our champion elect for a while now, so no great surprises there. Congratulations to Tommy and comiserations to the unsuccessful managers who didn’t quite make the grade (or McClarens as I like to call them).