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Who ate all the pies

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Umbro make shit kits. They look cheap and feel cheaper. They’ve been making England kits for ages now and they have failed to design a single strip that I like. Other nations get nice kits by Nike or adidas, but England has had to suffer Umbro for way too long. I put much of our […]

A mixed bag, but some very fine strikes in the mix, especially from outside the box. Alan Hansen would have good reason to use his ‘terrible defending’ line on several occasions, but the MLS is improving in quality fast – although I would say that the standard of attacking play is far greater than in […]

What’s with the inflated carrier bags? I guess it’s a dig at Everton’s new stadium plans, which also include high street shops, a hotel and a giant Tesco supermarket. Anyway, I’m sure you can come up with a fine caption for this pic…

HEROES Benni McCarthy After some stinging criticism of his form and attitude from manager Mark Hughes, McCarthy bounced back with two goals against Reading. Antii Niemi The Finnish keeper salvaged a point for 10-man Fulham against Derby with a series of fine saves. Kenwyne Jones Sunderland’s best player by a mile against West Ham, and […]

Tempers were already frayed after the long-faced Dutchman contrived to get Patrick Viera sent off and then stepped up to take an injury time penalty with the game at 0-0.

77435306.jpgNow that Beck’s first MLS season has ended in an injury plagued anti-climax, he could be on his way back to Blighty to keep his fitness up over the winter.

Dimi Berbatov doesn’t look like a modern footballer. In fact, he doesn’t look like a modern man at all. No, the Spurs striker is a throwback to the Eighties, that cheesy decade defined by slip-on shoes (I bet he owns at least one pair), Yuppies, Duran Duran, Roger Moore as 007, and the Milk Tray […]

Here’s football’s vainest man, rolling around seductively on a mattress, for a TV ad for a Portuguese bank. Man, if he was chocolate – even crappy chocolate, like the sort you get in Kinder eggs – he would definitely eat himself. Via Kickette

Not a great couple of weeks for Stevie G. He’s underperformed for England (including that missed sitter in Russia), been slagged off in The Guardian, and was substituted by Rafa Benitez in the Merseyside derby on Saturday. Gerrard’s reaction to being taken off was as follows: ‘I was hurt and disappointed at being taken off […]

A great video collection of cutely worked free-kicks, proving that some coaches have more imagination than others – I love the one where the guy flicks the dead ball over his own head. Great to see a YouTube compilation video put together with such care, too – there are some real crackers in there. Via […]

Yes, it’s Frank Ribery on that little tractor, tearing up the Marseille pitch at the end of the 2006/07 season. No Baby Bentley for our Franck, he’s a more agricultural type of player, in looks if not his style of play. Spotted over at The Offside

Hope you enjoy our photo essay of Becks’s first season in LA… A David Beckham mural is seen in the window of New York’s Adidas Sport Performance Store on July 12, 2007.

So how to review David Beckham’s first season in the MLS? Well, it was hit and miss, wasn’t it? Mostly miss to be honest. Becks played just 252 minutes all season (Landon Donovan played 2191 minutes) and didn’t score a single league goal, but still picked up a guaranteed $5.5m in wages. And LA Galaxy […]

David Beckham is not going to the play-offs. LA Galaxy needed to beat Chicago Fire in their final match of the season; they didn’t. A goal by the Fire’s John Thorrington – who, ironically, used to play for Man Utd at the same time as Beckham was there, albeit in the youth team and reserves […]

I miss Jose, and this is just one reason why. Puyol is one of those players who needs a slap, and The Special One duly obliges, in the tunnel before one of those ‘don’t come much bigger than this’ (Clive Tyldesley©) Chelsea vs Barcelona Champions League nights. Thanks Jose, from all of us.

Nolberto Solano celebrates as his shot rebounds in off of distraught goalkeeper Craig Gordon for an own goal during the Premier League match between West Ham and Sunderland at Upton Park on October 21, 2007. Photo Phil Cole/Getty Images

David Beckham came off the bench in the second half of this crunch MLS game, but he couldn’t inspire the Galaxy to the win they needed to stay in play-off contention. LA still has a slim chance to make the post season though – they have to beat Chicago in their final game and hope […]

Everton v Liverpool Lawro 1-1, Pies 1-1
Local hostilities will be resumed in this weekend’s biggest game – the Merseyside derby. It’s a shame that it’s come straight after an international break, which usually leaves players below par. Gerrard often makes the difference but he’ll still be mourning England’s loss so we have to agree with Lawro this time and yet another draw for title chasing Liverpool.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

October 19th, 2007

1 Bolton Wanderers, Celtic, Everton, Sunderland, Everton (current). Whose career? 2 Tim Cahill’s younger brother Chris is the captain of which national football team? 3 The ‘Bushwackers’ hooligan firm are famously affiliated to which English club? 4 What links Gabriel Heinze, Ronaldinho, Jaj Jay Okocha, George Weah, Ossie Ardiles and Ray Wilkins? 5 Picture round. […]

“Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Portuguese and Russian?”

I’ve always imagined Steve McClaren as a National Express coach driver. Don’t ask me why… he just looks like one, doesn’t he? Not the miserable sort who won’t let you put your mixtape on the coach stereo, though. He’d always have a smile for pensioners and wouldn’t break the speed limit. Steve will be out […]

Now it’s Thierry’s turn – remember him? The Arsenal icon scored so many scorchers we couldn’t decide on which one to show but this deserves a place for sheer ingenuity – let us know of a better one.

77370204.jpgHe may be the most gifted player of his generation but why is Wayne Rooney always involved for the wrong reasons when England go out of a major tournament, or possibly qualifying match?

Put together by an Everton fan perhaps? I have to agree with his assessment though. The headless chicken description is apt.

We don’t want to sound like a baying mob after blood the moment our Euro 2008 hopes seem to have disappeared – but surely someone is going to be made a scapegoat.