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Who ate all the pies

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Sneaky Everton are apparently trying to con Fulham into swapping Luis Boa Morte (the Cottagers’ skipper and talisman) for Simon Davies (mediocre Welsh midfielder). The Mirror reports that the Toffees want to exchange £8 million-rated Boa Morte for Davies, a player they paid an over-inflated £4 million for last year. You have to wonder whether […]

After this weekend’s theatrics from Cristiano ‘Winker’ Ronaldo, it only seems right that we show you the toy that all kids should have this Yuletide. We’ve featured this before, but with Christmas looming, it only seems fair to give you a nudge. Watch with glee at Winker’s ‘Uppy-Downy’ motion! El miraculo! [Mof Gimmers]

Good weekendCraig Bellamy The Welsh striker put his time in the dock behind him by firing Liverpool to their first away win of the season at Wigan.Sheffield United Came from behind to beat Charlton 2-1 in their relegation scrap.Arsenal A 3-0 win in the north London derby against Spurs. Bad weekend Arsenal The Gunners make […]


Football freestylers

December 4th, 2006

If, like me, you still think you’re half decent at footy, but consistently forget that running for longer than 10 minutes would result in an inevitable stitch/vomiting/need for a cigarette/pint, you’d do well to watch this video of some cocky young upstarts. Then hang up your boots for good. [Mof Gimmers] There something going wrong at Everton. The results aren’t bad, and the manager seems like a decent chap… so it can only be one thing. A crap haircut. Step up please Joleon Lescott…

SaturdayArsenal v Tottenham (12.45pm) The under-achieving neighbours play in the early kick-off. North London derbies are difficult to call at the best of the times. I think this one will end in a draw. 1:1Blackburn v Fulham (3pm) Can’t see many goals in this unless Fulham’s defence relapse to last season’s away form. 0:0Portsmouth v […]

Henrik Larsson – the man who has had more last stands than a General Custer Reenactment club – is to join Manchester United on a three-month loan deal in January. The Swedish striker joined hometown club Helsingborgs from Barcelona in the summer, but their domestic season is now over leaving the 35-year-old free to play […]

It’s about the time of year that most people start moaning about the number of Christmas shoppers roaming the streets and football managers start moaning about the number of fixtures they’ve got to squeeze into the next week or two. In our Fantasy Football league, a bumper fixture list this week meant only one thing: […]

[Rob Parker]

What does it take to be Champions? Well, judging by this Chelsea training session, all it takes is a lot of horsing around, screaming like a girl, playing without your boots on and having a go on a posh camera… oh… and a Russian Billionaire helps as well.

Barrow defender James Cotterill has pleaded guilty to causing grevious bodily to Bristol Rovers‘ Sean Rigg during an FA Cup match. Rigg was left with a double fracture of the jaw after being punched by Cotterill in an off-the-ball incident. Cotterill admitted the charge at Barrow Magistrates Court. He will be sentenced at Lancaster Crown […]

Last night’s 4-3 thriller between Southampton and Birmingham wasn’t just notable for Kenwyne Jones’ celebration. Saints pair Chris Baird and goalkeeper Kelvin Davis indulged in a spot of handbags following Birmingham’s third goal. The duo had to be pulled apart by team-mates, but referee Ian Williamson decided against issuing cards to either player (which might […]

Last night, Birmingham and Southampton were involved in a 4-3 thriller which had great goals, funny goals and more. Highlight of the match was Kenwyne Jones’ celebration, caught on video last night by a giddy Saints’ fan It would seem that Celtic want to be a proper club and start playing with the big boys now that they’re in the nosebleed territory of the Champion’s League. It seems that they’re for getting out of Scotland’s crappy league (contrary to what Gordon Strachan thinks mind you) Celtic’s chief executive Peter Lawwell insists that they are well positioned for any new developments in European football. “There are maybe five or six clubs with global recognition and we are one of them,” he said. “We are a…

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember this advert for Umbro being on British TV. It might have just received so many complaints that it was taken off air before I saw it! [Rob Parker]

It’s time to look at another Uefa Cup shirt. This time it’s Eintracht Frankfurt, who will host Newcastle this evening. The overall theme of the shirt is downmarket AC Milan. The thick red and black stripes are courtesy of Jako (kit supplier to Portsmouth). The sponsor, Fraport, is the owner of Frankfurt Airport. Click here […]

This is hilarious! I’m sure everyone is familiar with the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ game (well, everyone except Phil Neville). The very basic concept around which the game revolves is that you are asked questions and cannot use the words ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in your answer. So, contrary to the footage you are about to watch, […]

Liverpool face Portsmouth at Anfield tonight, but we are going back to the corresponding fixture in 2004 to drool over this belter of a volley from Didi Hamann. [Rob Parker]

Why not celebrate Fabio Cannavaro winning the Ballon d’Or (I could have sworn it used to be called European Footballer of the Year!) with this Fanatico football figurine? This range is new to me, but as you can see they are similar to Corinthian figures but bigger and with their heads in proportion. You also […]

When Charlton’s Andy Reid scored against Everton at the weekend he must have been thrilled. By the same token, David Moyes must have been furious when he saw the ball whistle past Yobo’s arse as he lazily tied up his boots whilst an attack was on. Time for a spot of pointing and laughing I […]

Manchester United defenders Wes Brown and Mikael Silvestre are considering their futures at Old Trafford, according to The Sun. The form of January signings Nemanja Vidic (who has been, let’s be honest here, immense) and Patrice Evra plus Gabriel Heinze’s return after injury, have left Brown and Silvestre on the fringes of Sir Alex Ferguson’s […]


Quotes of the Week

November 29th, 2006 There have been some cracking quotes floating around this week, including one from HRH Queen Elizabeth II (presumably a Reading fan?) when she quipped “Football’s a difficult business… and aren’t they prima donnas?” when speaking to…

Jokers in the West Ham squad have forced Argentinian striker Carlos Tevez to train in a Brazil shirt after he stormed out of Upton Park after being substituted against Sheffield United. Tevez was reportedly also ordered to pay a £1,000 fine to Great Ormond Street Hospital by the dressing room jury. Manager Alan Pardew announced […]

Chelsea gaffer, Jose Mourinho is hoping the sacrifice of staying in the north this week will result in another campaign-defining victory at Bolton. Mourinho’s side have virtually won the title twice at the Reebok and this time, the The Oilers will go into the game knowing three points on Wednesday evening could haul them level […]

Why would you want to watch the Vancouver Whitecaps playing a game in 1983 against a team called the Sounders? Well, apart from the fact that the Sounders is a funny team name and that listening to foreign commentary is always a giggle, you can see Peter Beardsley scoring a couple of cheeky goals for […]