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Who ate all the pies

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A David Beckham-less Galaxy beat FC Dallas in a 6-5 thriller in the Superliga. Check out Landon Donovan signalling game over at 5-3 (there’s a few more goals left yet, Landy) and Abel Xavier proving why he is no longer good enough for the Premiership with some schoolboy defending. Our apologies for inflicting the Spanish language ‘Gol, gol, gol, gol etc’ commentator on you once again, but try to humour him!

Pies celebrates to truly appalling kits from the Premiership years.
1 Nottingham Forest’s yellow and black away kit

A big shout-out to Pies reader Mark Sharon for spotting that Kieran Richardson looks rather similar to Micah (played by Noah Gray-Cabey, a ten-year-old classically trained pianist), a character in new hit TV show ‘Heroes’. I haven’t yet seen Heroes, but friends tell me it’s rather good – unlike Kieran, who is rather shit.

Very nicely done, but methinks there’s some computer trickery involved…

Pies might just have a new favourite football commentator in the shape of former Newcastle United player Ray Hudson. Ray is the star of GolTV’s soccer coverage. We first noticed him following the Copa America final. His commentary makes him sound like the lovechild of Jonathan Pearce and Gazza who has popped a couple of Prozac prior to kick-off.

Jose%20Antonio%20Reyes.JPGJose Antonio Reyes is on his way to Bolton. Well, not just yet but Reyes seems to be following the Nicolas Anelka Sulk Route out of Arsenal and we all know where that ends. Reyes – on his way to becoming a journeyman himself – has completed a £6 million switch to Atletico Madrid.

This compilation shows some of the best dives of the last year, starting with some classics from last summer’s World Cup. Enjoy!

Remember Freddy Adu? The US child star who had most of Europe’s top clubs clamouring for his attention when he was just 14. Well, four years on and he’s just signed for Portuguese side Benfica for a reported fee of around £1m.

BeanSean.JPGNeil Warnock quit as Sheffield United manager after Hollywood actor Sean Bean launched a foul-mouthed attack on him and his family, he has claimed today. Warnock claims a drunk Bean, who is a Blades director, reduced his wife and five-year-old son to tears.

Fatter%20Frank.JPGWell, whad’ya know? It turns out Fat Frank Lampard is actually carrying a few less pounds know than we he was a kid! This is one of a selection of photos in this excellent gallery of footballers when they were young.

instakilt.JPGThe Daily Record reports today that Barcelona star Ronaldinho was presented with a kilt beach towel during the recent tour of Scotland. The ‘bemused’ Brazilian received the gift from a Scottish fan. The Instakilt is apparently a way for Scots to assert their national identity while holidaying in sunnier climes.

A bit obscure unless you’re into comic book adaptations like Blade 2 or Hell Boy. Both films featured the Holllywood actor, Ron Perlman, but if he can’t make the next sequel then we’re sure former US and Blackburn goalkeeper, Brad Friedel, would be the perfect substitute

Now this is one piece of transfer news that has left my jaw dropping in a most unattractive manner. Okay, so at Birmingham City the limited coffers reduce your targets more than those of the Premiership’s heavy-hitters. Yes, Birmingham is not the most glamourous or alluring place for foreign imports keen to move to the UK, and Steve Bruce’s managerial track record might not include many impressive trophies, but £3 million on

Now that Henry’s off enjoying the siestas at Barcelona, it’s up to Robin van Persie to step up and be the main goal threat at Arsenal, right? Wrong. According to the Dutchman, goals aren’t all that important, a bit over-rated really: “It’s not my aim to be the top scorer. My aim is to play good football with this team. I think we showed that against Inter. A lot of players are saying ‘oh, I have to be the top scorer’. But for me the first thing is to play football. Of course there are lots of responsibilities because you are playing in front of 60,000 people.”
After all who cares about a goal when you can

Big Sam has accused Italy goalkeeper, Gianluigi Buffon, of common assault for a challenge that almost knocked out rookie, Andy Carroll, during yesterday’s ‘friendly’ against Juventus.

Iraq captain Younis Mahmoud celebrates winning the AFC Asian Cup 2007 final in Jakarta against Saudi Arabia with his team mates. (Photo by Koji Watanabe/Getty Images)

Meet Cork City striker Roy O’Donovan who is likely to link-up with his namesake Keane in the near future. Sunderland and Fulham are both interested in the 21-year-old striker who they believe could be the next Kevin Doyle. The Reading striker forged the route from Cork City to scoring regularly in the Premier League. O’Donovan scored 21 goals in the Eircom League last season, and both Keane and Lawrie Sanchez seem happy that he can make the step up to the Premiership.

Iraq have won the Asian Cup for the first time after defeating Saudi Arabia 1-0. Captain Younes Mahmoud headed the winning goal from a 72nd minute corner. The Iraqi squad includes Kurds, Sunnis, Shias and Turkomans. The players had faced kidnap threats, the murder of loved ones, and disruptions to their training schedules. The problems in Iraq forced Brazilian coach Jorvan Vieira to train the squad in Syria and Jordan. All of which makes the victory even more impressive.

The evidence is that Manchester United new boy Nani has taken his manager’s concerns about his somersault celebration on board. His post-goal activities following this delightful effort against Guangzhou Pharmaceutical were much more muted. United won 2-0, Wayne Rooney having opened the scoring from the penalty spot.

He left sports broadcasting on the Beeb for the money, sorry challenge of ITV and then hot-footed it to Countdown on Channel 4 faster than anyone can say “Robbie Earle –a football pundit?” And now silver fox, Des Lynam is going back to what he does best – footie.
Des will front a big advertising campaign for

1 União Micaelense, Estoril-Praia, Salamanca, Deportivo de La Coruña, Bordeaux, Paris Saint-Germain (current club). Whose career?
2 What was the first club Alex Ferguson managed?
3 Picture round: who’s the Miami Vice extra?

Without doubt the shittest lookalike I’ve ever posted, but it is a rather amusing pic – so sue me. It was taken during a visit by the Man Utd squad to Chimelong Safari Park in Guangzhuo, China.

Spuranos.JPGTShirts365 celebrate Tony Soprano-alike Tottenham manager Martin Jol with this gangster-themed effort. Capiche? Menacing Martin sits atop his pistol in this spoof of the Channel 4 drama series The Sopranos. Click here to buy the t-shirt for £14.99.

reocokerhat.jpgThere’s nothing like a warm welcome but Villa’s Stiliyan Petrov seems to be clouded by claret coloured spectacles in his praise of new signing, Nigel Reo-Coker.

Man Utd starlet Nani has been ordered to stop his back-flipping goal celebration, by manager Sir Alex Ferguson. The Portuguese winger performed a flip after scoring on his United debut, in a friendly against Shenzhen FC, but reportedly winced on landing:

Lomano Lua Lua famously injured himself after performing a back-flip celebration, and Fergie doesn’t want the same fate to befall Nani. Fair enough, as he has paid £17m for the youngster.