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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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We haven’t a clue what is going on here, but we know quality football entertainment when we see it! It seems to be some sort of mascot football, possibly between representatives of Mexican teams. Any Hispanic Pies readers who know what it’s all about, let us know!

Talking of attire for the summer, you might want to give this outfit a miss unless you also happen to have Fabrizio Ravanelli’s six-pack and baby-oiled thighs! The Silver Fox seems to have ditched his day job as a professional David Beckham lookalike and is now concentrating on modelling swimwear for Belgian designer Dirk Bikkembergs.

sao%20paulo.JPGSummer is here (allegedly) and that often means football fans reaching for their Brazil shirt and heading for the nearest beach for a kickabout. Unless you’re very lucky, the beach in question is unlikely to be the Copacabana and the shirt needn’t be the Brazilian national team jersey.

Hollywood actor and Sheffield United fan Sean Bean has recorded a video message criticising the Premier League panel’s decision not to dock West Ham points over Carlos Tevez’s transfer. The message is part of the Campaign for Fairness in Football. You can sympathise with the Blades’ plight but when Bean says they were relegated through no fault of their own you can’t help but think that winning more games might have helped their cause!

74015450.jpgLiverpool have confirmed their interest in West Ham’s Yossi Benayoun. The Israeli playmaker has stalled on signing a new five-year deal at Upton Park, which may surprise some Irons who recall that Benayoun verbally agreed that he would remain with the club less than a month ago.

Picture%201.pngWe haven’t taken a peek at Moritz Volz’s diary for a while, but a recent visit is full of tremendous information on his summer holiday to America – like how he took all six of his ‘heavy biology books’ to revise for his exams, but that he hasn’t yet got around to opening any of them, because he’s ‘relying on being asked the right questions’ – a cunning exam trick which Pies tried on many occasions.

The West Ham/Sheffield Utd relegation mess is still unresolved, but football league chiefs are clearly very confident that the Blades will fail in their bid to overturn their relegation from the Premiership – so confident that West Ham, not Sheffield, have been included in the brand new fixture list for the Prem 07/08 season.

berb.JPGSpurs striker Dimitar Berbatov has been named as the best transfer buy of last season by university researchers. Pies has already given you its transfer flops of the season, but now Professor Tom Cannon, of the University of Buckingham, is informing us where the wise money was spent last summer. The analysis ranges between the blatantly obvious and the alarmingly random!

In which the recently retired Mr McAteer manages a leaping karate kick that is way more impressive than the infamous effort by Eric Cantona, or the brutal block by Israel’s Kobi Mossa. The incident occurred during a World Cup qualifier between Macedonia and the Rep. of Ireland in 1996. The Irish’s away kit is quite a piece of work, too…

[Via Guardian]

The 06/07 Premiership season has only just finished but there’s no time to think about that, because the fixture list for the 2007/08 season has just been released. The new season begins on 11 August (is it me, or is that earlier than ever before?), with this set of fixtures:

iToon.JPGAlan Shearer may have been put out to pasture in the Match of the Day studios over a year ago, but his shadow hangs over St James Park like… erm… like a silhouetted figure dominating an iTunes advert.

Panama head coach Alexandrie Guimarae avoids a sliding Jose Andres Guardado of Mexico during their first round match of the CONCACAF Gold Cup 2007 yesterday. We thought the Gold Cup was for horses only, but there you go!

Aw, this is so cute. As it’s the tennis season, what better than to post a video showing a first date between Inter players and some of the world’s top men’s tennis stars, including Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Hernan Crespo, who looks more like a tennis player than a footballer, seems especially pleased to meet his racket-wielding idols.

Reading%20fans.jpgReading fans are the most stylish in the country, according to a survey carried out by Brylcreem. The haircare firm interviewed fans from all 92 Football League clubs to find out their taste in hairstyle, clothes labels, drinks, holidays and nights out. The Royals fans came out on top, narrowly pipping Northampton Town supporters.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker was a series of short comedy sketches made by Reebok. They feature Tate instilling his own unique brand of discipline into people from all walks of life. Here he is taking on a streaker!

Tuncay Sanli is the striker chosen by Middlesbrough to replace the sizeable hole left by the departure of Mark Viduka to Newcastle United. Sanli was out of contract at Fenerbahçe and he is due to undergo a medical with a view to completing a move to the Riverside. He is perhaps best-known for scoring a Champions League hat-trick against Manchester United in 2004.

Bent_D-06.jpgDarren Bent is an excellent Premiership striker who has long been linked with a (give or take the odd quid) £10 million move to a top club. Why then would he move to West Ham – a club which could easily have been playing Championship football with Charlton Athletic next season? And why would the Hammers pay so much over the odds for him?

Jason McAteer has called time on his 16-year career. The 35-year-old former Bolton, Liverpool and Republic of Ireland midfielder has been without a club since Tranmere Rovers decided not to renew his contract at the end of last season. Remember the time he won the World Cup?

Next%20match.JPGThe gang at Football365 have compiled a handy little list to guide you through the close season. Here are their 40 signs that ought to let every football fan that it’s summer:

AllardyceBarton.bmpThe Professional Footballers’ Association must be used to stepping in to break up fights involving Joey Barton by now. But this time they have got themselves into a right old tussle over Barton’s proposed transfer from Manchester City to Newcastle United. The deal has reportedly stalled over a reported £300,000 owed to Barton.

Alan%20Shearer%20U21.bmp1 Alan Shearer – 13 goals
No surprise that England under 21′s all-time leading goalscorer is Super Al. The young Shearer bagged his under 21 goals while at Southampton. The goals came in just 11 games between 1990 and 1992, including seven goals in four Toulon matches. As this photo shows, Shearer had not quite perfected his famous one-handed celebration at this early stage in his career.

Leroy Lita sends Czech Republic keeper Zlamal the wrong way, but has to watch his penalty scrape the outside of the post as England under 21s draw 0-0 in their opening European Championship match.

Henry.jpgThierry Henry has agreed a deal to move to Barcelona, according to a French football magazine. France Football claims a contract was signed at a secret Ashley Cole-style meeting in the south of France. The reports have been rubished by Henry’s agents SEM Group, who were rumoured to have brokered the deal.

Fox Soccer Channel reporter Jeremy St Louis has been doing his bit to shake of the reputation that Americans don’t know anything about ‘soccer’ with his own unique brand of post-match interviews. Here he is offering his comiserations to Chivas midfielder Jesse Marsch after their 0-1 away win over Chicago Fire!

England Under-21s showed its not just the senior squad capable of lacklustre starts to international championships as they played out a 0-0 draw with the Czech Republic. They were not a great deal of chances, but Reading striker Leroy Lita missed a penalty with three minutes to go to blow England’s chances of getting all three points in their opening European Championship game.