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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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There’s a headline I thought I’d never write! Last night’s match between QPR and China‘s Olympic squad was abandoned after a brawl in which the international side’s Zheng Tao was knocked unconcious. He reportedly suffered two cracks in his jaw and lost a tooth. The FA and QPR have both launched inquiries into the incident […]

A bit of snow today means the UK has all but ground to a halt. Here is a video of last season’s abandoned match between Sunderland and Fulham when it appeared to be raining snowballs. This is dedicated to all the hardy Pies readers who could have made it to work but decided to be […]

1 I should have switched the TV off after the first three minutes. England’s exciting attacking play stopped shortly after this. 2 The new England kit really is awful.3 Peter Crouch cannot play up front by himself. He was impressive in holding the ball up but England’s attacks were too slow and predictable as a […]

Football film Goal! 2 hits UK cinemas on Friday. In anticipation the film’s ‘associate producer’ (snigger) Steve McManaman has been talking about his input to cinematic history. He said: "I tried to help out really, in the broadest possible sense. My relationship was to help out with the film crew if they needed any help […]

Stevie Mac takes England into battle against Spain tonight with Stevie G as his skipper. Watford keeper Ben Foster makes his England debut, but of more concern than Foster’s inexperience is the fact that the Neville brothers start together for the first time since England’s ill-fated Euro 2000 campaign. Pies would have preferred to see […]

Obviously, the Portugese and the Brazilians are linked historically, so obviously, there was a decent bit of rivalry between the two sides when they met last night at Arsenal‘s Emirates Stadium. The game was won 2-0 by the Portugal side who were captained by the in-form Cristiano Ronaldo. It’s a shame that this video doesn’t […]

I know it’s a cheap gag, but I couldn’t resist. Surely the Liverpool fans must be a little embarrassed by all this takeover business?

Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has received a £1,000 speeding fine and had six points put on his licence. The punishment came from Manchester Magistrates’ Court rather than Tottenham left-back Lee Young-Pyo, who could be forgiven for wishing Ronaldo had a speed limit on the pitch. Ronaldo, of Stockport (does that sound wrong to anyone […]

Yes, of course it’s Brazil! Where else could it possibly be? Remember the cheeky young scamp of a ball boy who scored a goal? Well he has now been outdone in the bad ball boy stakes by this Comercial ball boy. He got into an argument with Botafogo keeper Marcao after hiding the ball behind […]

Ahead of tonight’s England v Spain match we look back at the last time the two teams met. It was the heated ‘friendly’ at the Bernabeu in which Ashley Cole and Shaun Wright Phillips were subjected to racist abuse and Wayne Rooney had to be substituted to prevent him being sent-off. As if that doesn’t […]

Hopefully, a bright and red future ahead of us. I shall reserve my comment to later and not jump to conclusion. But it is exciting times indeed. [The Red Cauldron] Liverpool, with a proposed new stadium and increased transfer funds, will be looking to firmly place themselves in between Chelsea and Manchester United – and […]

If this quote was unattributed I would have put good money on it being the latest post-match comment / bizarre analogy to be uttered from the mouth of ‘Sir’ Ian Holloway. However, closer inspection reveals that it is Jose Mourinho who is losing sleep over his team’s injury crisis. "It’s like having a blanket that […]

From now on when you hear a commentator say ‘To be fair, the ball was played behind him,’ remember that shouldn’t be an excuse! Do any of our Pies field operatives know where and when this goal was scored? [Rob Parker]

One of the more unusual ties thrown up by this week’s round of international friendlies is Lithuania versus Mali. If you are a collector of obscure football shirts or simply a Hearts fan, you might like to purchase the Lithuanian kit! This is the side that held world champions Italy to a 1-1 draw last […]

Italian football could restart on Sunday, according to Luca Pancalli, commissioner of the Italian Federation. Serie A and B clubs meet on Tuesday to discuss the government proposal of closing stadia deemed unsafe to fans. The move follows the cancellation of weekend football after a policemen was killed during clashes between fans. Pancalli said: "There […]


Torres fancies Arsenal?

February 6th, 2007

It’s enough to make you sick. Spanish wonderboy, Fernando Torres is saying that, should he move to England, he fancies Arsenal. Imagine it. Torres, Fabregas, Van Persie… oh, and that Thierry Henry chap. They would officially be the most attractive footballing side on the planet.

Steve ‘Malcolm’ McClaren plans to use the 4-3-3 formation that was used against Holland in the 1-1 draw in November. However, he might have a bit of a problem with Wayne Rooney looking crocked. His other options look a bit ropey too following the withdrawal of Everton’s Andrew ‘I didn’t dive honest’ Johnson. The England […]

A pregnant woman in the United Arab Emirates left a maternity ward after discovering it had no television on which to watch the Gulf Cup final between UAE and Oman. The woman reportedly told staff: "I shall be back once my national team has won the coveted championship." She returned to the hospital clutching a […]

I can’t believe that this hasn’t been featured on Pies before as it is my favourite goal ever. Mexico ’86 was my first World Cup proper, and the first goal to make my eyes pop out was this wonderful strike by Mexico’s Manuel Negrete. A sublime volley that is rewarded with Negrete’s hair being pulled […]

Ladies and Gents, let Pies be the first to pass judgement on the new England home shirt. It’s shit. This really is the worst England shirt that Pies have ever seen, and can only hope that this is some terrible mistake. Surely the blind morons designers at Umbro can come up with something a bit […]

There was only so long we could continue our Ginger Afro series without resorting to the glaringly obvious. It is, of course, the man with arguably the greatest afro of all time never mind ginger afro: Carlos Valderrama. The Colombian’s beautiful ginger locks leave the likes of Wes Brown, Ian Wallace and Noel Brotherston trailing […]

He’s got the dribbles and the dives!


Boli and Waddle rap

February 5th, 2007

Basile Boli and Chris Waddle played together in the rampant Marseille side of the early ninties. They also recorded a rap record together. Watch, and cry your unbelieving eyeballs out. It’s actually worse than Diamond Lights. [Mof Gimmers]

The Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) is meeting the government on Monday to decide when Italian football resumes after hooligans killed an Italian policeman. All weekend matches, as well as an international against Romania, were cancelled. The meeting will take place after the funeral of Filippo Raciti, who died in the riots. The funeral of the […]

Rafa Benitez referred to Everton as a small club at the weekend and it ruffled some feathers.  The Spaniard said after Saturday’s 0-0 Merseyside derby: "When you play against the smaller teams at Anfield you know the game will be narrow." Everton chief executive Keith Wyness responded on the club website and said: "Benitez is […]