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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Photo Getty Images
He’s still got it! When Little Michael Owen tucked the ball under the body of Barnsely’s keeper and into the net, it was the first time he’d scored in a competitive game since December 2005, some 20 months ago. The finish was a bit scuffed, but still, Owen thrives on goals, and this is welcome news both for Newcastle and England.

So David Beckham missed out on picking up his first trophy Stateside. Instead, he picked up a potentially serious knee injury, which may jeopardise his involvement in England’s Euro 2008 qualifiers in September. Doh! says Steve McClaren and the rest of us.

Barca thumped Internazionale (who had rested several stars, including Zlatan) to win their annual Joan Gamper Trophy. Inter deserved to lose for bringing a weakened team to the Camp Nou.
With Messi, Henry, Ronaldinho and Eto’o to call on, Barca’s attack is shaping up to be, well, scarily good – and don’t forget Mexican wonderkid Gio dos Santos, who has just earned Spanish citizenship (as has Ronaldinho). Gio made mincemeat of Inter’s defence, and this could be his breakthrough season. Yaya Toure, Kolo’s little bro, also scored this belter:

Photo Getty Images Smiles all round at the Emirates, as Arsenal breezed past a distinctly average Praha side. Eduardo da Silva (seen here being shown position one of the Kama Sutra by team-mate Emmanuel Adebayor) scored for the first time this season, to add to earlier goals by Tomas Rosicky and Cesc Fabregas, and looked […]

Newcastle’s new third kit (we will skip over the issue of why a club that barely gets any wear out of its away kit would want a third kit!) is perfect for the shorter gentleman. As you can see from this photoshoot, the Argentina-esque strip can elongate even the teeny-tiniest of footballers.

Our latest Shit Lookalike comes courtesy of Pies reader Daniel Budden. He quite rightly pointed out that Arsenal’s man from Minsk, Alexander Hleb, is a dead ringer for a young Kevin Bacon, which is a coincidence because he also saved Arsene Wenger’s bacon against Fulham a couple of weeks back.
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The Old Lady of Italian football showed experience counts for everything as she bounced back from Serie B in style. Juventus opened their Serie A campaign with a 5-1 thumping of Livorno. Striker partners David Trezeguet and Vicenzo Iaquinta (pictured above) were on fire, weighing in with a hat-trick and a brace respectively. The margin of the victory sent Juve to the top of the table. Click below for highlights of the game.

Celtic progressed to the group stage of the Champions League after beating Spartak Moscow and, in some cases, each other. Goalkeeper Artur Boruc and defender Lee Naylor had to be talked out of a Kieron Dyer/Lee Bowyer-style punch-up after a minor scuffle.

West Ham’s recent signing Kieron Dyer receives physio treatment and comfort from his team-mates after suffering a double leg fracture in last night’s Carling Cup tie with Bristol Rovers. Dyer was injured in a tackle by Rovers’ Joe Jacobson, which left Hammers boss Alan Curbishley fuming. Click here to see the incident.

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Ajax are looking more dominant than in recent years after two games of the Dutch Eredivisie. They are top-of-the-table after coming from behind to beat Heerenveen 4-1 at the weekend. Ajax have not won the title for three years, but with the talented Luis Suarez in top form they seem to be favourites this season.

Following Wayne Rooney’s Put It Where You Want It virals for Nike, Germany international Torsten Frings is now aboard the bandwagon. Once again Welsh daredevils Dirty Sanchez were drafted in to help Frings demonstrate his accuracy.

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Following the tragic death of Antonio Puerta yesterday, Pies celebrates the James Deans of the football world who died too young.

74194551.jpgMeddling Michel Platini’s proposal to restore some respect to the FA Cup is to award the winners the fourth and final place in the Champions League.

75447801.jpg‘Arry Redknapp is renowned for his wheelin’ and dealin’ skills but even a master sometimes makes mistakes like, ‘buying the first one you see only before the end of sales bargains arrive.’

Robbie Savage has had this haircut since the beginning of time. It has always been dodgy. He has always been blond, but he has never been this blond. Mr Savage is now undoubtedly a candidate for our Bottle Blond XI. Shades of Pavel Nedved, but without the footballing ability.
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Teutonic Tuesday is in danger of becoming a weekly tribute to Bayern Munich’s seemingly unstoppable march towards the Bundesliga title, so for a bit of variation here is a picture of Eintracht Frankfurt’s Ioannis Amanatidis stroking their eagle mascot at the end of a 1-0 victory over Werder Bremen. The victory puts them on seven points and in the pack chasing Bayern Munich (who thrashed Hannover 3-0, by the way).

Attacks on match officials can range from the petty to the horrific. Former Wolves striker Ionel Ganea opted for that age old playground tactic, the nipple twist. The Politehnica Stiinta player was sent off against Rapid Bucharest at the weekend after seemingly grasping the assistant referee’s nipple before holding him by the throat. Ganea was eventually escorted away from the pitch by four policemen!

72956219.jpgHe might not have made much of an impact at Arsenal during a foreign exchange loan deal for Reyes last season, but The Beast could be back in the Premier League.

At last someone has posted the hilarious footage of Jens Lehmann’s pre-match warm-up against England last week. Here is Mad Jens showing the Wembley turf his best moves (for anyone who missed it, this went out live on primetime BBC One!).

[Via Bundesliga Offside]

Paul%20Scharner%20Horror%20Hair.jpgWigan’s Austrian man might have been on the scoresheet against West Ham at the weekend, but his barnet is definitely off target. Pretty much anything you could want to be wrong with his hair is incorporated into this look. The fluffiness of the mohican gives a hint of baby duckling chic. The shaved section of the hair reveals a worryingly bumpy head. The mohawk thins towards the crown and – to top it all – has a ginger tinge. Good work, Paul.

Ole brings the ball under control during a Champions League match against Fenerbahce in 1996. Photo Clive Brunskill/Allsport

Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City
Cesc Fabregas finally found a breakthrough, despite an excellent performance from Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel. The young Dane made a string of saves, including Robin van Persie’s 65th minute penalty.
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Photo Getty Images Arguably the most popular footballer in Premier League history – even Man City fans quite like Solskjaer – is to retire from the game, aged 34. A series of knee injuries has afflicted the Norwegian in recent seasons, and he’s sensibly decided to call it a day. He has already been involved […]

This is what Newcastle can expect to face in the North-East derby on Sunday… Sponsored link: Boro v Newcastle is available on Setanta on 26/08/07

73757653.jpgHe’s gone from the country’s most expensive signing to a misfiring misfit who’s struggling to command a transfer fee, but Andriy Shevchenko still has his admirers.