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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Like the best Photoshoppers, the most successful Fantasy Football managers often have good attention to detail and too much time on their hands. This serves only to prove that the likes of Tommy and Matt M have a good eye for a player who might pick up a few extra points on a given weekend. […]

Lionel Messi has already proved that impossible is nothing, and here he is doing it for cold hard corporate cash…

img_david_dein.jpgI suppose this is, like, big news to some people – like Arsenal fans and other Premiership vice-chairmen. To me, it has about as much to do with football as… erm… something that has not very much to do with football. Cricket, for example. In other words, I could hardly care less that Dein has stormed off in a huff.

Noel.JPGIf you thought Fat Frank and co had it tough as their luxury coach was hit by a brick last night, spare a thought for Linfield captain Noel Bailie.

jacqui_oatley.jpgAs reported in The Sun, this Saturday commentator Jacqui Oatley will take the mic for Fulham v Blackburn in the Premiership. In doing so, Oatley will become the first woman to commentate on a Saturday fixture for MotD. About time too.

Frank_Lampard_186833g.jpgFrank Lampard has admitted it would be ‘a great experience’ to play for Barcelona, again prompting speculation that he could be set for a move to the Nou Camp in the summer. Lamps is yet to sign a new Chelsea contract and is known to be an admirer of the Spanish giants

evra_patrice_mufc_profile_2006.jpgSo the first two positions on your team of the season have been filled. After a day’s solid voting, you selected Liverpool’s Steve Finnan in the right-back position, to add to Chelsea goalie Petr Cech. Another fine decision, Pies’ readers. Finnan is still underrated and he’s had a terrific season for the ‘Pool. He scored (at time of posting) 34% of the vote.

I was about to write the headline ‘West Ham yob chucks brick at Chelsea team bus’ until I realised that there’s no proof at all that it was a Hammers fan – everyone hates Chelsea, so who knows?

Michael Owen has a 50/50 chance of appearing against Chelsea on Sunday, according to Newcastle manager Glenn Roeder. Owen has been out of action since picking up a knee ligament injury in England’s World Cup match against Sweden last June. Roeder said: “He is 50-50, but he will not return until in my opinion he […]

The other day we told you about Enzo Zidane, the 12-year-old son of Zinedine. Well here’s a clip of Zizou Jr in action. It’s clear his dad has been teaching him a few tricks.

Barca hammered Getafe 5-2 last night, but the game will always remembered for this brilliant goal by Lionel Messi…

McClown.JPGYou know that a backlash is truly under way when even the TShirts365 designs are against you. Although you have to wonder whether it is possible to have a backlash when you never really had a ‘lash’ in the first place!

110299.jpgIt looked like boys against men at Upton Park last night. West Ham’s defeat means they are virtual certs to be relegated, while Chelsea just won’t let Man U relax at the top. This was a very impressive, very powerful performance by the champions, who remind me of the German team in Escape to Victory – loads of power and athleticism, but not much in the way of charisma or personality.

This eye-watering video shows Oldham Athletic chairman Simon Blitz having his chest waxed to convince Addicks fans to buy more Coca Cola. It is all in the name of the fizzy drink manufactuer’s grassroots-supporting / die-hard-fan-exploiting Buy A Player competition. Several chairmen have provided video appeals for the Buy A Player website encouraging supporters to shell out.

tevez_carlos_whfc_profile_2006.jpgThis one’s pretty simple. If West Ham lose, they’re down (not mathematically, but there’s no way I can see them escaping); if Chelsea lose, Man Utd win the title (see above). In other words, it’s a crucial game, or, if you like cliches, a massive six-pointer.

best.jpgIn association with The Observer newspaper, are selling a limited edition 125 prints of Paul Trevillion’s artistic tribute to George Best, titled simply ‘The Genius’. Each print is signed by the surviving members of Man Utd’s European Cup-winning squad of 1968…

garylineker.jpgA machine could soon be deciding the Premiership’s most exciting moments for you instead of Gary Lineker and his Band of Merrymen. Researchers at BT have developed an algorithm which picks out the most interesting bits of a match.

Ok, so they don’t look that similar – it’s more to do with the fact that I bet their personalities are a very close match. If Gary Neville worked in a crappy office, he’d be a total jobsworth with a tidy desk and a stapler that he’s written his name on in Tippex.

I won’t spoil it by telling you the result, but you can tell that the loser is gutted…

_42816007_platini203.jpgAgainst the odds, the odd couple of Poland and Ukraine (trips off the tongue, doesn’t it?) have been chosen by Uefa to host the European Championships in 2012. It will be the first time that either nation has ever hosted a major football championship.

_42814093_arsenal203.jpgArsenal move into third in the Prem table, above Liverpool, ending Man City‘s five-goal unbeaten run.

_42814095_carr203.jpgAnother three points in the bag for United, whose lead over Chelsea stretches to six points (seven effectively thanks to their far superior goal difference). Michael Carrick latched on to Cristiano Ronaldo’s through ball to score the opener after just four minutes.

Something has probably been lost in translation, but we still enjoyed Patrice Evra’s take on how to defend against Man U team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo. Evra said: ‘Nobody can stop him. Probably the only way to do it is to kill him. When he runs at you, you try to grab his shirt or do whatever […]

Yesterday you voted Petr Cech as goalie of the season – not bad considering he was out for a long time with a serious head injury. You have good taste Piefolk – Cech was my choice too. Now, the second part in our vote to assemble a definitive team of the season asks you to […]

In-fighting at a table-topping team at this stage of the season would normally spell trouble, but this punch-up between Alan Smith and Darren Fletcher is purely accidental. Smudger gets a bit carried away celebrating Michael Carrick’s opener against Sheffield United last night and gives Fletcher a whack round the head. [Rob Parker]