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Who ate all the pies

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Wow, what a pulsating game to mark Spurs’ 125th anniversary! At 4-1 down, Martin Jol looked like a dead man walking, but Spurs roared back to snatch an unlikely draw – that no doubt felt to Spurs fans more like a win – with a Younes Kaboul goal in added time. This photo (Getty Images) […]

John Terry will play for Chelsea in their Champions League match against Valencia tomorrow, despite suffering a depressed cheekbone fracture, courtesy of Clint Dempsey’s elbow, on Saturday. The Sun imagine JT’s mask will look like this, putting me in mind of that great episode of Only Fools and Horses, when Del and Rodney dress up […]

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Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce is eager to be reunited with his former Bolton keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen. Although the Finn is a decent keeper, goalkeeping is one area of the team where the Magpies are already blessed.

mrtoshack.jpgJohn Toshack is a man who knows a thing or two about being in at the deep end in the world of football. He’s played in the Liverpool side that became one of the most successful teams in history, as well as leading Real Madrid to La Liga. He also knows a thing or two about playing games with the press saying directly translating stock footballing phrases into Spanish that only make sense in the original English… “La Liga es el pan y la mantequilla y la nata es la Copa del Rey or ‘The League is the bread and butter and the Cup is the cream’…

I’ve spoken about Garrincha on these pages before, but there’s always excuse to have another look at Brazil’s greatest ever player (yes… he is the greatest). If there is one player I would’ve loved to see in his heyday, it’s ‘Little Wren’. Imagine him in the modern game! With all those lovely camera angles we have now, and less clogging of skillful players, Garrincha would have trounced all the young pretenders out there now.

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Whilst watching Match Of The Day at the weekend, I was shocked at how football is able to still surprise after all these years. I’m not talking about the match between Pompey and Reading that finished 34 – 12, but rather, the horrific thatch sat atop Peter Walton’s cranium. Refereeing the Blackburn/Sunderland match, Walton’s wild receder left me completely distracted from the action. Great stuff… if horrendous…

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Thierry Henry scored a hat-trick as Barcelona beat Levante 1-4 to go top of La Liga. Real Madrid are hot on their heels, just one point behind with a game in hand – after beating Getafe 0-1.

Here at Pies, we pride ourselves on our Shit Lookalikes. Sadly we can’t take the credit for this one because it is down to the Coventry City squad. The players at the Ricoh Arena have apparently taken to calling new captain Arjan de Zeeuw ‘Kosta‘ because they reckon he looks like Australian boxer Kosta Tszyu.

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Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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Ah, the bog roll launched from the stand unravelling as it arcs its way towards the pitch – surely one of the finest sights in football. Players normally turn a blind-eye to such activities until said bog roll interferes with a goal-kick/hits them.

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1 Regardless of age and experience, David James is still capable of making terrible mistakes such as the rush of blood which saw him charging out of his penalty area like a bull to Dave Kitson’s matador.

Former Arsenal flop Julio Baptista scored this great bicycle kick against Real Betis last night. Apparently his landing measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.

[Via 101Greatgoals]

Top 10s & lists

The Drugs Ban XI

September 28th, 2007

Pies puts together a team so pumped up with drugs that even a Glenn Roeder team-talk could get them motivated!

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With Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov increasing his stake in Arsenal today (looks like his chef has been steadily increasing his steak for some time, by the way) this t-shirt is as timely as ever for Gooners.

I can’t tell you how chuffed I am to able to combine Hollowatch with a Shit Lookalike. In his latest online column for BBC Sport, Ian Holloway claims that Avram Grant looks like a famous character from Wind in the Willows (not Beatrix Potter, as the Beeb claims). Ian says: ‘If we’re talking lookalikes he’s […]

If you didn’t know, Pies now has its own community, a place where you, dear readers, can hang out, make friends (in a Facebook stylee), upload videos and discuss football until you’re blue/red (delete where applicable) in the face. See the ‘Community’ tab at the top of this page? Click it, sign up, create a […]

As he’s being interviewed after a Liverpool FA Cup victory – was it that crazy game against Luton a couple of seasons ago? – Stevie G almost goes arse over tit. He holds it together though, much to the amusment of the interviewer and Ian Wright in the studio – if you listen closely, you […]

Perhaps ominously for Gooners who are quite content with the status quo, podgy Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov has increased his stake in Arsenal to 23%, just a week after saying he wanted at least a 25% share in the club. If Usmanov, who frankly looks not very much like Harold Bishop from Neighbours, gets to […]

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

September 28th, 2007

It’s that time of the week again, when Pies twists your brains into fiendish shapes… 1 Albacete Balompié, Real Zaragoza, Real Madrid, Liverpool, Valencia (current). Whose career path? 2 Which phantom-like Dutch star has the middle names ‘Rudolphus’ and ‘Antonius’? 3 Picture round. Which Premier League defender? 4 In which country was Germany striker Miroslav […]

The evergreen Luis Figo in action for Inter Milan, who went level at the top of Serie A (with Roma) after a 3-0 win against Sampdoria. Figo scored Inter’s third goal, adding to a brace by Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Photo Getty Images

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As Alisher Usmanov draws ever closer to an Arsenal takeover, so does the sound of a distant Antipodean tuba. That’s right… pudgy face… bad specs… receding hairline… it’s Harold Bishop from Neighbours…

Dr Lopes is not happy when he’s being interviewed for Portguguese TV and the interview is interrupted by footage of Jose Mourinho returning to his homeland. Lopes, who was Prime Minister of Portugal from 2004-2005, bemoans the fact that such news would be deemed more important than him, and ends the interview. Good old Jose, […]

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Arsene Wenger has serious fears for the future of English football, believing that the domestic game is in danger of being severely damaged by mass media coverage and new club ownership…

_linesman_offside.jpgReports are saying that our referees and assistants have been told to favour attacking teams on tight offside calls after being sent a directive that tells them: “Don’t get stuck in a time warp. Gone are the days when we would prefer a ‘dodgy offside’ to a ‘dodgy goal’.”…

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Marseille have sacked their manager Albert Emon (pictured). OM’s poor start to the season sees them sitting just one-point off the relegation zone. The club has moved quickly to install former Galatasaray coach and Belgian international Eric Gerets as the new coach.