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Who ate all the pies

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This week’s Tuesday 10 celebrates footballers who thought extra time was the outcome of a bad parole hearing. This list comes a bit too soon for Mr Joseph Barton, but he faces a maximum of five years banged up if he is convicted of assaulting former Manchester City team-mate Ousmane Dabo.

sol-campbell.jpgWhat started as a new regime is starting to resemble an old school reunion in Steve McLaren’s England camp. First, Becks was brought back from the brink and now it seems Sol Campbell could be making a comeback.

Following our feature on footballers who rap, perhaps we should next consider footballers who look like rappers. First we showed you that El Hadji Diouf is Pharrell Williams. Now we can conclusively proove that Spurs and England midfielder Jermaine Jenas is a passable double for US hip hop star Rich Boy. Nuff respec’ to Pies reader Craig for spotting this one.

Sven just can’t help putting his foot in it. It comes naturally to him, as do negative tactics and poor substitutions. Here he is asking new signing Valeri Bojinov how it feels to have signed for Manchester United! Valeri probably got all excited for a couple of seconds until the howls of the watching media kick in!

Arsenal_badge.jpg More rants and opinions from the fans about the upcoming Premier League season. This time, we speak to Arseblogger, who unsurprisingly supports a certain North London team who have just lost their talismanic striker.
Hello there. Introduce yourself to the class…
Arseblogger – Arsenal –
How do you think you’ll do next season?

73115111.jpgThe UEFA president, Michel Platini, said yesterday that the European governing body must crack down further on racial abuse inside stadiums.
“We will be strong,” said Platini. “We will…

kierondyer8mil.jpgNewcastle gaffer Sam Allardyce has revealed that Kieron Dyer’s move to West Ham collapsed after the Hammers refused to pay…

newtricks.jpgA drama writer managed to create a cast littered with West Brom-related character names without anyone noticing – and kept it up for four series. Roy Mitchell, creator of the BBC’s detective drama New Tricks, began his homage to the Baggies by naming the three central characters Jack Halford, Brian Lane and Gerry Standing after Albion’s Halford Lane Stand.

Watch out Chris Brass because you might have some competition, matey! This has got to be up there with the best own goals of all time. An overhead kick own goal from about 14 yards out – you wouldn’t think it was possible but it is! This astounding incident comes from a recent Brazil under 20s game between Fluminense and Cruzeiro. The defender – with no attackers anywhere near him – pulls off this spectacular bicycle kick to leave his keeper stranded.

1 Chelsea’s reserves have pretty much got their league sewn-up already.
2 Thomas Kuszczak and Ben Foster (when he is fit again) will have their work cut out ousting Edwin van der Sar.
3 Wayne Rooney is back! Was he ever away? Anyway, Fergie has predicted a big season from the England star and he made a promising start as he ran at defenders in a way he didn’t seem confident enough to do at times last season.

Edwin van der Sar was the star of the show as Manchester United lifted the first silverware of the season. The Dutch keeper saved three consecutive Chelsea penalties to win the Community Shield for his side in a shootout. The game had finished 1-1, with Ryan Giggs giving United the lead and Chelsea new boy Florent Malouda equalising with a neat finish. Van der Sar then saved from Claudio Pizarro, Frank Lampard and Shaun Wright Phillips in the shootout.

blackburnrovers.jpgLooking forward to the new season? Who isn’t?! Well, in the name of looking forward let’s carry on from where we left off (a look at Aston Villa’s season,) and look to the North with Blackburn Rovers. Dreams of an FA Cup final against Burnley…

Despite fielding a pretty strong side, Blackburn went down to Huddersfield in their pre-seaon friendly which saw Morten Gamst Pedersen missing an open goal (spectacularly) from a matter of yards out. Huddersfield 2-1 BlackburnUploaded by super-goal

Essential-Football-Swearword.jpgThere is nothing quite like venting spleen at a football match. In fact, you could argue that watching your team for 90 minutes is enough to get 7 days worth of venom out of your body, leaving you cool and placid for the rest of the week. Well, do that in China and you could spend a night in the clink…

In a nutshell: Arsenal v Sparta Prague, Liverpool v Toulouse, Celtic v Spartak Moscow and Rangers or FK Zeta v Crvena Zvezda or Levadia Tallinn.
The BBC is lamenting a tough draw for the British clubs, but you would expect at least three of the four to progress. They may not be easy games (there are no easy games at this level, Clive) but to call it a tough draw might be taking things a bit too far. Sparta Prague are a team Arsenal generally beat comfortably in the group stages. And if Liverpool can’t make it past Toulouse then they don’t deserve to be in the competition anyway. Celtic have man-for-man the toughest draw, but even a below-par Rangers should have what it takes to defeat their potential opponents.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

August 3rd, 2007

1 Inter Milan, Venezia, Udinese, Inter Milan, Roma, Brescia, Palma, Ascoli (current club). The career path of which journeyman?
2 Who plays at Stark’s Park?
3 Picture round: who’s this Anton Ferdinand-a-like?

Laughing%20Tevez.JPGIt seems Carlos Tevez’s protracted move to Manchester United might finally be completed today. The prospect of a court case has sobered up all parties and a deal appears to have been struck. Tevez is expected to move to Old Trafford on a two-year loan deal with West Ham receiving £2 million in compensation. The Argentine will pick up more than double that this season alone with a salary of £4.5 million. Manchester United then have the option of completing a £30 million permanent deal.

Of course, back then it was all in the name of Charity. I reckon the Community/Charity Shield is one of those trophies which is a little short on Classic Moments, but as Manchester United are taking on Chelsea this weekend in English football’s annual curtain-raiser we ought to celebrate its limited archive of great moments. Here is David Seaman and his caterpillar moustache finding out why Peter Schmeichel was the best keeper in the Premier League at the time!

With Nike pandering to the masses with adverts showing Wayne Rooney pelting the ball against a man in a jockstrap, Umbro have decided to go all arthouse on us with this commercial for their new boots. Deco is on board to express the virtues of Umbro’s waterproof technology by indulging in a little underwater football.

Liverpool.JPG1 The annual ‘will this be Liverpool’s year?’ discussions. It never is and this year is no exception.
2 Every pundit predicts that the three promoted teams will go straight back down. It hasn’t happened since 1998.
3 Alan Hansen maxes out his quote of Liverpool players/old boys for his Telegraph fantasy football team.

r10870_25609.jpgAfter Inter Milan scored three times in 17 minutes during yesterday’s friendly against Man Utd, Fergie pointed his hairdryer in the direction of the defence.

villabadge.gifWelcome to a new feature. Sporadically, we’ll be getting the opinions of the fans and bloggers of each Premier League side in the run up to the new season. Of course, these opinions will be biased and far from fair, but that’s part of the joy of football eh? Today, let’s have a look at the views of a Villa fan who is hoping that Reo-Coker will shine next season… and of course, some gentle slagging of Birmingham City.

75464295.jpgFinish drinking your tea. You don’t want to spit it everywhere when you hear some really shocking news. You’ll never guess. Joey Barton has been charged with assault after an alleged training ground bust-up with a former team-mate. *faints*

I love the internet. It gives you the chance to watch amazing goals from matches that feature teams you didn’t even know existed. From the cracking 101GreatGoals, here’s the top 10 goals from around the world that have been bagged in the last week.

GolTVs Top10 Goals July 2007 Week 5
Uploaded by CatrachoMillonario

In one of the most surprising transfers yet this season, overweight Spurs striker Mido has joined underachieving (in the Prem at least) Sunderland for a fee of £6m.