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Who ate all the pies

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Bad hair, big ankles, brilliant goalscorer – that just about sums up Sparky.

Indisputable evidence that Ronaldinho is following in the footsteps of Ronaldo. (First pic taken in November 2003, the second after Liverpool’s 2-1 win last Wednesday.) He must have put on at least a stone of fat in that time. Is this what happens when you believe your own hype?

I bet Frank is delighted that his bestest mate JT is feeling better. How would he cope without him?

Greavsie hypnotises a lovable little dog, which then pisses on his shirt. Simple.

We’ve already featured a fair bit of Fantasy Football on here, but there really doesn’t need to be an excuse to post more. Check this video out, and watch Ray Stubbs singing Peter N’Lurve at the close. Genius. [Mof Gimmers]

SATURDAYFulham v Man UtdLawro: 0-2Pies: 1-1 Charlton v West HamLawro: 2-1Pies: 1-1 Liverpool v Sheffield UtdLawro: 2-0Pies: 3-0


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

February 23rd, 2007

1 Corinthians, Arsenal, Celta Vigo, Barcelona (current). Whose career?2 Three Leicester City players were held by police on charges of sexual assault during a training camp in 2004. Name all three.3 Picture round. Who’s this, sporting a mini-mullet? 4 Who’s the youngest ever player to score in the Premiership?5 Kevin Keegan, Paul Bracewell, ________, Chris […]

I miss this show, even more than I miss Gladiators. Has Jimmy been drinking meths?

Former Republic of Ireland strikers John Aldridge and Tony Cascarino have had their fair share of football honours. They’ve both competed at the highest level for club and country, starring in World Cups and FA Cup finals, but for the former hitmen, their biggest challenge is to come. Cascarino and Aldridge are to vie for […]

Tomorrow, Charlton Athletic take on West Ham at the Valley. Normally pundits would be foaming about how it’s a ‘crucial six-pointer’ but since there’s a very good chance that both teams will go down whatever the result, that’s taken as read. Anyway, the question is: who do you think is the better manager? Alan Pardew […]

Vladimir Romanov may just be my favourite man in football. He’s absolutely insane. By no means would I want him taking the reigns at a club I supported, but boy, he doesn’t half make me piss my pants with laughter. Romanov once released an insanely marvelous statement to the Scottish press, saying "I’m very glad […]

With the Liverpool camp enlivened by a bit of swinging (of a golf club admittedly), it’s worth looking back at another famous spat between team mates. There have been a few, but probably the best is the fine work of Lee Bowyer and Keiran Dyer who both earned themselves red cards after belting the crap […]

Gazza, G8, Paul Gascoigne… whatever you call him these days… has apparently agreed to appear in and turn his hand to producing new movie Final Run. Gazza will make his big-screen debut as a survivor of an alien invasion alongside the oh so very lovely Lois Winstone (daughter of Ray). According to production company SjB […]

Man City

Man City in takeover talks

February 22nd, 2007

Manchester City have announced that they are in "preliminary discussions" with potential investors that may lead to an offer for the club. The Citizens have revealed that, before Christmas, they were seeking fresh investment in the club but today’s acknowledgement that they are talking to "third parties" suggests that a bit of headway is being […]

Spotted for sale on eBay (auction ends 28 Feb): one full-sized white statue of Ronaldinho, but imagined as a horse – it freaks me out a little, I must admit. I know that Ronnie has an impressive set of gnashers, but surely Ruud van Nistelrooy – football’s ultimate horseface – would have made a better […]

What a crock of shit our national team is. If, heaven forbid, the England team was picked on merit, not reputation, we wouldn’t be having this futile debate. We all know that England team selection has been a joke for years and that you’ll struggle to pick up caps if you play for an unfashionable […]

‘John, you will go on my first whistle…’ I miss Gladiators (can you believe how seriously people took it!).

Alan Ruddock’s excellent piece in today’s Guardian makes the point that football punditry in Britain has reached an all-time low. Ruddock bemoans the relentless blandness of Gary Lineker et al. and he is right to do so. As he points out, football fans are not ‘morons’ and deserve far better. In Ireland, football fans enjoy […]

As I said to my flatmate last night, I love Barca as a club –€“ great fans, great history, the fact they refused to sully their shirt with a sponsor for so long etc. – but they have the most annoying players in the world: Ronaldinho raises his chubby arms – is it me or […]

Full marks to Gilardino for style, but no marks at all for timing (taken from last night’s Celtic v Milan snooze-fest).

Hey everybody and welcome to David Beckham’s Photoshop School! – it’s just like my Soccer Schools, but helping talented young kids to develop their Photoshop skills. This week, I’ve Photoshopped Ian Holloway’s head onto the body of a badger emerging from its sett. It’s topical and slightly disturbing.keep on ‘Shopping!David ‘I’m off to Hollywoodland’ Beckham

Just leave it Paul, he’s not worth it… Wigan Athletic manager Paul Jewell has claimed, in the Daily Mail, that a Premiership club asked not to have referee Phil Dowd in charge of their games: ‘We can’t as a club say we don’t want him but I know a certain club that has asked,’ he […]

I’m sure we’re all agreed that Lille should be punished in some way for their part in last night’s Champions League tie with Man Utd. Neither their players, coaching staff, fans or the authorities at the ground (which was actually Len’s stadium, not Lille’s) covered themselves in glory. I don’t think Uefa will chuck them […]

As a youth, Steve Bull was the bane of my life. Back in the old 4th division, I recall Steve Bull (and his striking partner Andy Mutch) tearing my beloved Bolton Wanderers apart with poise and, pardon the pun, bullishness and great tenacity. He is one of England’s greatest ever strikers. He signed for Wolves […]

Over at The Guardian, they’ve been arguing the toss about the fastest goal ever scored. By that, they mean hardest in mph. Well, after a couple of weeks of debate, they seem to have found the most blistering goal ever. No, it’s not Obi Martins or Tony Yeboah, but Sporting Lisbon’s Brazilian left-back Ronny "Homem-Bomba" […]