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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Injury-plagued Newcastle midfielder Kieron Dyer has begged to play in the Carling Cup tie with Watford tonight in a pair of goggles. The 27-year-old is out of action with an eye injury after a long layoff with hamstring trouble. Dyer asked to play in a pair of Edgar Davids-style goggles, but medical staff have told […]

Dynamo Kiev rumoured to have held talks with Sven [Times] Southend’s Freddy Eastwood (pictured) the latest Football League player to be linked with a move to Aston Villa [Clubcall] Manchester City to move for in-form Excelsior Rotterdam player Andwele Slory [FansFC] And City are still trying to convince Sylvain Distin to snub moves to Newcastle […]

Despite the fact that his side are still attempting to recoup the eight points they were docked for match fixing, Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti has taken the opportunity to complain that refereeing decisions are suddenly going against his side! He said: "There have been too many refereeing mistakes against us in the last 10 days. […]

Having watched this video a few times, I still have no idea what this goalkeeper is attempting to do. Some possibilities: 1 Chase around after the ball like a dog.2 Confirm with the betting syndicate behind his goal that it is now he’s supposed to concede.3 Break the world record for the largest circumference of […]

If you love nothing better than pretending to be Alan Hansen from the comfort of your own living room, this t-shirt might be up your street. Tell it like it is in a t-shirt that tells it like it is with this Armchair Football Pundit design from DJ Tees. It will set you back £17.90 […]

Horror Hair legend Alexi Lalas (pictured then and now) has been swooning over David Beckham – himself no stranger to a bad barnet. Los Angeles Galaxy boss Lalas had admitted he would like to sign to Beckham if he fails to sign a new deal with Real Madrid. He said: "There are thousands of clubs […]

There’s a petition on the web called ‘Bring John Sitton Back Into Football‘. No-one has really signed it, but after seeing a video of him sticking it to his players, I think we should get him as a pundit on Match of the Day a.s.a.p. In a cracking clip that has Sitton telling his players […]

Many forget that the World Cup in USA in 1994 ended as it started. With a terrible penalty miss. Everyone recalls Roberto Baggio’s ballooning row Z-er, but hardly any recalls the stunning moment that saw Diana Ross spoon the ball wide of the goal in a error laden cutain raiser. I’m afraid this is the […]

http://eur.news1.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/ng/sp/empics/2536845 The FA has launched investigations into the two coin-throwing incidents at the West Ham/Arsenal and Fulham/Everton matches that took place over the weekend. On Saturday, Fulham’s Claus Jensen was hit by a coin thrown by an Everton fan in their 1-0 victory at Craven Cottage and Gunners’ striker Robin van Persie was struck by 2p at Upton Park on Sunday during the Gunners’ 1-0 defeat…

There were some bizarre scenes at the end of West Ham‘s 1-0 victory over Arsenal yesterday. Alan Pardew‘s celebration of the Hammers’ last-minute winner apparently offended Arsene Wenger, which led to an exchange of words and a bit of shoving. The obligatory shunned handshake followed the final whistle. Pardew has now apologised for his celebrations. […]

Good weekendAlan Pardew What a difference a couple of weeks can make. Still in his job and with another win to his name (against Arsenal no less)Sir Alex Ferguson Probably spent Sunday at home with his feet up watching both Arsenal and Chelsea lose.Watford A win at last for the Hornets as they defeat Middlesbrough […]

Our mini-debate over the intent behind Frank Lampard‘s goal against Barcelona is over after he revealed that he did, in fact, mean to score (stay with me cynics, he’s going to tell you how he has spent hours rehearsing such a goal!). He said: "Sometimes I do it as a bit of fun, but it […]

SaturdayFulham v Everton (12.45pm) Fulham are having a good season so far, but I expect Everton to see them off tomorrow. 0:2Bolton v Wigan (3pm) There’s been a few Lancashire derbies in recent weeks and this is a tough one to call. I expect Bolton to be back to their best at the back after […]

This Spanish television footage shows crocked Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o swearing while commentating on the match against Chelsea on Tuesday night before walking out of the commentary box while the match is still in progress! [Via Four Four Two] [Rob Parker]

Glenn ‘Boo Hoo Hoo’ Roeder is whining again. He’s hit out at a fixture list which has left his Magpies facing three matches in six days. Newcastle are set to meet Sheffield United on Saturday, two days after facing Palermo in the Uefa Cup, then travel to Watford on Tuesday for a Carling Cup tie. […]

Rudi Voller is pretty much only known for three things. Scoring goals, getting spat at by Frank Rijkaard in Italia 90, and being a rather unsuccessful manager of the German national side. Aside from these things, Rudi was always a nuisance in and around the 6 yard box, and whilst at Marseille, he got chinned […]

Neil Redfearn is set to step out for his 1000th game this weekend. The incredible journey started off in 1982 at Bolton Wanderers where he made his debut as a 17 year old, and will hit the milestone at Bradford Park Avenue who ply their trade in the Unibond League’s Division One. His 1000th game […]

Francis Benali played more than 300 matches for Southampton during his spell at the club. This is his one and only goal: beautiful looping header, which he was evidently ecstatic with. This goal secured a 1-0 victory over Leicester in December 1997. The advantage of never having scored a goal before, it seems, is that […]

UEFA want a clampdown on the rising level of intimidation towards match officials.The footballing body reaction comes after the ‘Battle of Barcelona’ nearly ended up in disarray and complete anarchy on Tuesday night.
Outraged at the repeated sight of both sets of players…

Real Madrid‘s on-loan (and soon to be permanent, it seems) David Beckham replacement, Jose Antonio Reyes, has hit out at shop closing times in England. Reyes – whose serial moaning to Spanish newspapers during his time at Arsenal indicated he wasn’t particularly happy – also said he did not even want to think about returning […]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38827000/jpg/_38827829_scudamore150.jpg Premier League top cheese, Richard Scudamore, is hoping that new regulations regarding (those scumbag) agents are pushed through in time for the January transfer window. The league is in serious talks with the FA about introducing some new laws where clubs cannot pay agents…

Despite his alarming omission from the 100 Greatest Premiership Players, Youri Djorkaeff is the greatest player to ever pull on a Bolton Wanderers shirt (and that includes the largely disappointing Bolton version of Okocha). Djorkaeff is probably best remembered for his time at Inter when he used to score incredible goals… like this… [Mof Gimmers]

Miscellaneous

Kit Parade: Palermo

November 2nd, 2006

Pink shirts and a mafia complex sounds like a recipe for disaster, but Palermo actually pull it off quite well. The Lotto design is salvaged from Ukraine’s World Cup shirt, but it looks better in pink and black than yellow and blue. The completely mafia unaffiliated Italian club host Newcastle in the Uefa Cup tonight […]

Jose Mourinho has been warned to curb his exuberant celebrations… by TV presenter and Z-list celebrity Aggie MacKenzie (pictured). The How Clean Is Your House? presenter has warned Mourinho he will ruin his Hugo Boss suit if he continues sliding on his knees on grass while wearing it. She said: "Grass stains are really hard. […]

CSKA Moscow are at the Emirates Stadium this evening for a Champions League clash. As their hosts will have first pick on red home kits, I suspect CSKA will be wearing this little number. The Umbro-supplied outfit has some unusual red and black trim. RUSSIA LANGUAGE TRIVIA: The sponsor’s name is actually Vneshtorgbank in English. […]