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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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torres%20tshirt.JPGCalm down, calm down. TShirts365 have come up with this offering which is guaranteed to look good under even the most flammable of polyester shell-suits. In Spain the Kid is called El Nino, but on Merseyside he’s just La’ like everyone else! The Rafa-lution is a hotbed for t-shirt designs it seems!

75439805.jpgFrom sublime hype to ridiculous and predictable reality. Yes, Becks LA Galaxy debut, set to be against Chelsea this Saturday, is in doubt due to a swollen ankle. Amazing what £250m will buy you these days.

Some new light has been shone on Thierry Henry’s exit from Arsenal and his even-more miserable-than-usual manner for most of last season. It has emerged that the new Barcelona man has split from his English model wife, Claire. The Sun claimed Henry said: “I didn’t really want to leave Arsenal — they’re my favourite club and I loved playing for them. But lots of things have changed recently and I had to get away from everything English, including my wife unfortunately.”

Domenechtash.jpgAs Raymond Domenech has been mouthing off today, Pies thought it was worth remembering the days when he didn’t have a mouth. Here is the France boss showing that, before his time as a Paul O’Grady-alike, he was in fact a proto-Graeme Souness. But look at the thickness of that ‘tache! It looks like his balancing a small rodent on his top lip.

ogrady.jpgFrance boss Paul O’Grady has blasted new West Ham signing Julien Faubert over his move to Upton Park. The £6 million winger joined from Bordeaux earlier this month after a move to Rangers fell through. His international manager says it was an ‘unspeakably stupid’ move. The France manager said: “I can’t understand Faubert’s decision to join West Ham. I struggle to understand why he has done it. It is a great pity when you are on the brink of the French national team.”

Self-proclaimed Asian Cup champions elect Australia recorded their first win of the tournament in their third group game. The Socceroos had previously drawn with Oman and lost to Iraq. Thailand were a different matter: not so hot in the air, unable to deal with Mark Viduka and his big booty and unlucky enough to be the first side in 673 matches that Harry Kewell completed a run-on-goal against without tweaking his hamstring, groin or eyelid.

1torres.jpgThere are bound to be a few more twists to this year’s transfer season, especially if someone remembers where they put Carlos Tevez’s ownership papers, but new TV money and the arrival of more glory hunting billionaires means there’s been plenty of action.
Here’s what we think are the ten best deals done so far:

Chelsea struggled to overcome Club America of Mexico, having conceded a goal after just three minutes. New signing Florient Malouda did score on his debut to equalise, then super skipper John Terry headed the winner with six minutes left to play. Watch all three goals below, plus a rather crap goal celebration after JT’s goal.

Playboy Brazil has chosen a Brazilian football official for their next line-up. Paula Oliveira shot to fame after incorrectly ruling out a goal in a Copa Brasil match and received a three-match ban from the Brazilian FA. You can find out more about her and get a rundown of five top footballing females at Pies’ […]

chinaglia_cosmos.jpgChinaglia, a striker, was born in Italy but grew up in Wales, where he began his football career, with Swansea Town. But he made his name with Lazio, where he played for seven seasons, scoring more than 100 goals in that time. He remains a cult hero with Lazio fans. Chinaglia was also one of the first big-name players to go to America to play in the NASL (North American Soccer League).

They could overlook the corruption allegations and even his dubious human rights record, but this might be taking it a bit too far for Manchester City fans. Here is the former Thai Prime Minister proudly holding his United shirt aloft as Fergie looks on.

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Gunnerblog makes an interesting point about Arsenal’s current squad in its match report of the Gunners’ 2-0 friendly win at Barnet this weekend: ‘One man who wasn’t in the side despite his presence at Underhill was Eduardo [da Silva]. Worryingly, he is very very slight in the flesh (as you can see from the picture). If a breeze had struck up, he might well’ve blown over. People talk about missing [Thierry] Henry’s speed and finishing prowess, but let’s not forget that the man was six-foot plus and incredibly powerful. Our already small team is getting smaller.’

beckham%2C%20galaxy.jpgLA Galaxy have appointed themselves the footb… soccer ( I’ll get used to that some time) version of the Harlem Globetrotters. The MLS outift – who not so long ago were concerned about the effect of David Beckham jetting back to England for international games – have decided that a David Beckham Travelling Circus is the solution to their problems.

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John Terry and Frank Lampard snuggle up during an appearance at the Adidas Sports Performance Store on July 15, 2007 in Santa Monica, California. Just look how much the pair love each other. It’s scary. [Photo: Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images]

God, you’d think he was a member of the royal family. And don’t think we didn’t see you almost call it football, before quickly realising where you were. Slick.

Palacio%2C%20rodrigo.JPGArsene Wenger has been mesmerised by pendulum-like rat-tail Horror Hair of Argentinian striker Rodrigo Palacio and is preparing to make a £15 million move for him. The 25-year-old had been linked with a transfer to Barcelona, but they have since purchased a little-known striker by the name of Thierry Henry.

Overhead kicks on grass are for wimps. Real men – despite their girly hair – don’t mind hitting the floor with a thud in the name of their art. And this futsal scissor kick is certainly a masterpiece.

Just when you think you’ve got this game sussed… Argentina – who have been on fire throughout this tournament and were favourites to win – get whipped in the final by a Brazil side who have struggled along at times. The scoring was opened with a fine finish from Julio Baptista, who hasn’t be able to hit the proverbial cow’s backside all season at Arsenal.

Chopra.JPGIf anyone knows Pies would really like to find out what the answer is. Michael Chopra is the latest player to move for a ridiculous fee. Cardiff have flogged the 23-year-old striker to Roy Keane’s Sunderland for £5 million, and who can blame them. That is an extra nought on the figure they paid Newcastle for him last summer. Yes, he had a decent season and scored 22 goals but does that really mean he is worth £5 million?

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Oliver Kahn, Germany’s most notable metrosexual, lifts weights during a Bayern Munich training session on July 13, 2007 in Donaueschingen, Germany. Either that, or it’s a German version of hit TV show Superstars.
[Photo: Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images]

fabregas_0607charlton.jpgArsenal fans will be delighted to learn that Cesc Fabregas has turned down a move to Real Madrid and pledged his future to Arsenal. The 20-year-old Spanish midfielder had been linked with a return to his native country for several weeks and the speculation wouldn’t go away. Fabregas revealed he has spoken to Real, but was persuaded to stay at Arsenal by Arsene Wenger.

1 CSM Reşiţa, FC Universitatea Craiova, Ajax Amsterdam, AS Roma (current). Whose career?
2 Which European club’s crest features a female wolf?
3 Picture round: who ‘dis?
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75372908-thumb.jpgMonths and months of relentless hype come to an end on Friday 13th of all dates, as David Beckham will be officially unveiled as a Los Angeles Galaxy player today, at 6pm. He will be paraded, like some very expensive pony, before a select audience of season-ticket holders and special guests. About time too, because let’s face it, hype means nothing in football.

Chivu.jpgRoma defender Cristian Chivu was put up for grabs on eBay after a fan got fed up of his on-off move to virtually any Champions League side who would give him the time of day. The Romanian is looking to move amid rumours that the Italian club could not offer the money he wanted in order to stay at Stadio Olimpico. Barcelona, Real Madrid and Inter Milan were all said to be interested, but the news that Barca were having second thoughts led one Roma fan to take matter into his own hands.