Euro 2012: The Psychic Animals – Your Handy ‘Cut Out And Keep’ Guide
By Chris Wright
Proving that the only thing better than a cash cow is a psychic cash cow; here’s your handy ‘cut out and keep’ guide to Euro 2012′s ever-lengthening list of what we will reluctantly refer to as ‘animal psychics’…
1. Funtik the Soothsayer Hog (Kiev Fan Zone, Ukraine)
Divination method: Clairvoyant snout bucket rummage
2. Citta the Elephant (Krakow Zoo, Poland)
Divination method: Trunk-based melon fondle
3. Fred the Ferret (Karkhiv Fan Zone, Ukraine)
Divination method: Fred’s choice - hard-boiled eggs or Muesli?
4. Nimo the Otter (Aue Zoo, Germany)
Divination method: Striped sweater auto-suggestion
5. Nicholas the Llama (Ashdown Llama Park, England)
Divination method: Nudging his brightly-coloured balls
6. Paulus the Octopus (Porto Aquarium, Portugal – no relation to Il Pulpo Paul)
Divination method: Tentacle telepathy/mollusk mind-tricks
7. Yvonne the Psychic Cow (Deggendorf, Germany)
Divination method: The ‘Four-Stomach Deduction’ technique, as used by Hercule Poirot
8. Nelly the Elephant (Serengeti Safari Park, Germany)
Divination method: Pachyderm penalty prognostication
9. Dragon Fish (Fish farm, Singapore)
Divination method: Fishy far-sight
Yep, nine and counting.
Who are you backing? Personally, we’re staking everything we own on Futnik.