‘Europe To Blame For Diving In Premier League’ – Tony Pulis Points Finger Of British Justice Across The Channel

Alan Duffy

15th, February 2012


By Alan Duffy


Tony Pulis is sick, sick and tired of the ‘foreign disease’ which is polluting this nation’s untainted character. In his press conference ahead of Stoke’s Europa League clash with Valencia, the baseball-capped crusader for all that is good and proper, bemoans the growing occurences of cheating in the British game, where men used to be men, not flouncy-haired paella-scoffing cheats.

“I cannot stand the sight of players rolling around. It really goes against the grain of British football, ” fumed a livid Pulis. “But from what I’ve seen abroad and, in a few cases here, it’s a growing disease. Players aren’t even touched and they’re falling over. It puts enormous pressure on referees.”

Hang on a minute, ‘A few cases here’, you say Tony? Unless a ‘few’ in modern parlance now means ‘lots and lots and lots’, I think Mr Pulis is slightly underestimating the extent of the problem in this proud, moral land.

“We certainly don’t want to see that in England, whatever happens. I think we should cut it off at the pass now, if we can. In Spain, it is seen as clever, but I don’t think it is clever. I think it’s cheating.”

“I would hate to see a game with two of the greatest clubs in the world – Barcelona and Madrid – and see a game that is just littered with people rolling around at every challenge, where they actually forgot about football!”.

Actually, sorry Tone, but have you ever watched a Clasico??

Anyway, I’m sure that attack on Spanish football will have gone down very well with supporters, players and manager of Los Che. However, while he does indeed have a point about the proliferation of diving in the Premier League, to once again whip the old “morally superior British game’ chestnut is a bit rich.

Posted in Europa League, Stoke City

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  1. Jonny says:

    Los Che? You talking about Valencia?

  2. Jonny says:

    Never mind it is Valencia. I skimmed through the article at first and missed some parts.

  3. ben says:

    Lol it’s everywhere it’s easy to point at other teams and other countries no one mentions the welbeck hanging leg against chelsea (although he should of had a pen before that) and sturridge diving like a fucking sniper was in the stands. I want to see proper punishment for this bullshit now game bans and fines fuck if we can give them to rooney for swearing before the watershed them I’m sure we can start doing this it’s not as if where shooting in 4:3 anymore on film thus having shocking quality.Stand up and ride tackles until your legs fall off you slags grow a set…

  4. Hirsty says:

    Still can’t understand why players aren’t punished retroactively. Referees can’t spot them all, but with all the attention they get after the fact, why not hand out a 3 match ban and a fine once it’s been proven they did in fact dive in that match?

  5. Jez says:

    That goal Zenit just scored to go up 2-1 was brilliant. Havent done a thing in 30 minutes and then they pull that out of the hat…bloody Russians.

  6. kurt says:

    there’s the typical english feeling of moral superiority and fairness again.
    i remember when united lost to bayern in the cl semi-finals and fergie wouldn’t stop complaining about “typical german behaviour”. the next game, the utd players kept on asking for cards themselves.
    of course diving should be punished but saying it’s a foreign disease is downright stupid.
    imagine a german coach blaming foreign influences for the bad things happening in german football. he’d probably be called a nazi

  7. chet says:




  8. Giancarlo says:

    I’m kind of tired of this attitude from English supporters, coaches, and commentators.
    After Milan’s walloping of Arsenal, all an English commentator could say was that Milan isn’t that good, will not progress farther than past Arsenal, and complained about the pitch.
    Last time I checked both teams play on the same pitch at the same time. Milan is first in Serie A and the reigning champions. Have a little respect! /rant

  9. Scott says:

    Well, Giancarlo, I’m a massive Arsenal supporter and we got walloped. Milan made the most of a poor defensive effort and our lack of attacking play. But, that’s football. Just wish we showed just a little bit of heart today.

  10. Varun says:

    English supposedly invented the modern game so its sort of their fault that they spread it in Europe to begin with.

  11. Chimpo says:

    diving is irritating and effectively cheating… and common to every league in the world


  12. Bof says:

    Thanks Alan for putting things into perspective. Look at how much money is spent in English Football. And then look at where English teams stand in European competitions. Giancarlo is perfectly right.

  13. Jared says:

    Pulis, of all people, would understand playing the victim card with the way HIS team play their brand of football.

    Sure, bitch and moan when quality players substitute using their talent to instead attempt to influence the ref. But Pulis has chosen to turn cheek and cry victim when his players hack down wingers and forwards on a consistent basis, and their entire “attack” game comes from long throw-ins from the sidelines. But go ahead, not wanting to stop a good rant, Tony.

  14. says:

    Diving is the primary reason Americans hate football. Considering the violence in our sports, watching a man roll around pretending to cry is insulting.
    PS: Sucking at the sport is the second reason Americans hate football

  15. Tinez says:

    Padding is the primary reason we don’t watch American football. That’s both the body armour type and the advertising kind.

    Sorry, had to react like an American does when anything is said about their sports.

    He should probably sort out his haircut before he goes out shitting all over those curious foreigners.

  16. Tinez says:

    In a rebuttle to the previous comment, Tony is a legend.

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