By Chris Wright
“If you give me another 45 minutes of that sh*t then I’ll lock you in your car and push it into the sea”
Roy Keane is a raving lunatic, this we know.
However, following yesterday’s revelation that Derby County boss Jim Smith once masterminded a victory over Manchester United after receiving an omen from some ducks, Higginbotham has now given us an astonishing glimpse into the grim reality that is having to play under Roy Keane’s tutelage.
As you can probably imagine, it doesn’t sound like much fun – especially when it comes to being on the end of one of Keane’s infamous pep talks.
Here’s Danny with the details, beginning with Keane (then Sunderland manager) addressing his squad before a game against Aston Villa in 2008:
“That game was the scene of one of the most bizarre team talks I’ve ever experienced, and that’s saying something from someone who had a childhood acquaintance give one.
It was bizarre at the time, but turned out to be a stroke of genius.
“Listen lads,” he said. “Basically, you’re sh*t. Try and enjoy the game. You’re probably going to get beat. But just enjoy being sh*t.”
“Then he just walked out. Those words have got to be insulting to any professional, no matter who they come from, and I’ll admit it served as the perfect motivation to get out there and prove him wrong.
“I scored after 10 minutes and we were leading at half-time. We ended up drawing.”
Reverse psychology? Sounds more like straight-up psychopathy to us.
It continues:
“[After watching the Sunderland reserves lose 1-0 to Man City] Keane went round us individually, addressing the kids first. “You’ve got to start applying yourselves in games. You’ve got to give everything. If you carry on like last night, you’ll find yourselves working at f**king Sainsbury’s this time next year. You’ll be on the dole,” he’s growling.
Gets to me. “Danny,” he says, “All I’m f**king hearing from you when I’m watching that game yesterday is f**king encouragement. That’s all I’m hearing.” I thought, well, that’s not so bad. “I don’t f**king want that. I want you to tell some of them they’re being c**ts. Tell them.”
We think that’s probably about as close to sensitive, man-management as you’re likely to get with Keano.
Here’s another choice extract, showing Roy at his most subtle after the penultimate game of the 2007/08 season – a 2-0 defeat against Bolton:
“You’re the reason I’m driving up and down the f*****g country to find another player, you’re not f*****g good enough,” he yells at one player.
“Your attitude is shit. You’re not good enough,” he bawls at others.
“Next week we’ve got our last home game, against Arsenal. You know at the end of the season when you walk around the pitch, thank the fans for their support? I’m ringing Umbro and getting you some hooded jumpers, because you’re a f*****g embarrassment, it’s a joke and this is not going to stay this way,” he finishes.
Bless him. One of football’s nice guys.
(Via Independent)