By Chris Wright

Dangerous crossing is such an underrated skill and nobody, repeat nobody has ever been able to swing a salvo into the penalty area quite like David Beckham – as his assist for Mike Magee to make it 2-1 during Galaxy’s Western Conference play-off victory over Real Salt Lake will duly attest to…

Robbie Keane then rounded off the scoring with a nifty little effort to make it 3-1 and send Galaxy through to the MLS Cup Final against Houston Dynamo on home turf in Los Angeles…

Videos: DT/MLS Soccer

                          

By Chris Wright

Though he’ll almost definitely be joining for the football, Paris Saint-Germain have jumped the gun slightly and ordered 20,000 David Beckham™ shirts just in case David Beckham™ should join them when his contract at LA Galaxy dwindles in November.

According to French radio station RTl, the club’s uber-rich Qatari owners have placed an emergency order with the team’s kit supplier, Nike, and the shirts are due to arrive next month – despite Beckham going on record as saying he doesn’t have any designs on uprooting his family again after putting down roots in Los Angeles, in fact one of his sprogs (the eldest? Brooklyn?) has just signed on with the Galaxy’s U13 squad.

Provided it isn’t cobblers, the mind boggles as to what PSG are going to do with 20,000 replica shirts emblazoned with the name of a player that’s never been anywhere near their club.

May I suggest Ebay?

                          

By Chris Wright

In which David Beckham goes undercover as ‘Ricky’, a perfume salesman in a department store, for a hidden camera sketch for the Ellen Degeneres show (in a similar vein to the massage parlour ruse the pair pulled last year) and you know what? It isn’t as horrible as it sounds…

In other news, I’m off to watch Forest vs Derby this afternoon, so if you never hear from me again it’s either because a) I’ve gone on some kind of ‘Falling Down’-esque rampage through the centre of Nottingham, or b) I’ve walked straight out of the ground, down the embankment, into the River Trent and just kept on walking.

Via Ellen

                          

Pies says: “No Mr Jol, please…not…not like this”

You say?

[Image: KCKRS]

                          

After securing himself yet another ‘dream move’, Robbie Keane was unveiled by LA Galaxy at the Home Depot Center yesterday during a ceremony that saw free Guinness provided on tap (because he’s Oirish, you see?) and David Beckham, Landon Donovan and Bruce Arena all turn out to welcome the former Spurs striker to Lala Land…

Skip to the minute mark for the sprog signing action…

Photos: PA

                          

By Chris Wright

One week old and already taller than SWP, here’s the first photo of Becks’ latest sprog, wee Harper Seven…

Altogether, awwww!!

Image via Kickette

                          

By Ollie Irish

Take two pairs of football-themed sneaks and put em head to head. Then you choose a winner. Simple.

In the blue corner, we have Adidas Originals James Bond ZX800 DB sneakers, for David Beckham’s Originals range:

Versus…

Foot Locker x Nike Air Max 90 ‘I Am The Rules’ sneakers, as endorsed by Arsenal stars Andrey Arshavin and Marouane Chamakh for Nike:

The criterion: which kicks do you like best? Vote now:

                          

By Ollie Irish

But we can’t say it to your face Dave, cause you is too beautiful to behold, innit.

Via Dirty Tackle

                          

By Ollie Irish

Shit, meet the fan…

David Beckham has vehemently denied allegations that he had an affair with a $10,000-a-night prostitute – including a threesome. Ah, so that’s why Wayne Rooney looks up to him.

Irma Nici, 26, claims in US gossip rag In Touch that she had sex with Becks five times in 2007.

“[The allegations] that have been made are completely untrue and totally ridiculous, as the magazine was clearly told before publication,” a Beckham spokesperson rep told Now magazine.

“Sadly we live in a world where a magazine can print lies and believe they can get away with it. We are taking legal action against the magazine.”

Hmm, this dirt may just be another example of a lying skank trying to make a fast buck, but it’s not the first time this year that Becks has been linked to other women. Smoke, meet fire etc.

One thing is true: Becks must attract 100x more desperate women than Wayne Rooney.

                          

By Ollie Irish

Relive the outrageous moment when Sir Dave of Beckham first dropped his trousers – metaphorically, Richard – and showed the world the size of his Goldenballs. And lo, they were big. Very big indeed…

I bet poor Neil Sullivan still back-peddles to this in his nightmares.