Ivory Coast teammates Didier Drogba and Steve Gohouri donned thier lederhosen and flew out to Munich on Sunday afternoon to sample a wee smidge of the Oktoberfest festivities currently engulfing the city and, by all accounts, had a gay old time – though not quite as gay as a member of the German press would have it.

Midway through the evening, a reporter for a local news channel unwittingly referred to Gohouri as Drogba’s ‘boyfriend’  – which apparently caused the pair to break out in a fit of girlish giggles and secretly hold hands under the table for the rest of the night.

Camp Drog says…

“What happens at Oktoberfest, STAYS at Oktoberfest BITCHESSSSS!!!”

[Photo: Daum]

                          

The glossy results of Chelsea’s pre-season photocall…

Image: Tumblr (Thanks to Pies fan Raymond Montblanc for the nudge!)

                          

By Ollie Irish

Breathtaking improvisation by the Drog. Few players could have scored such a goal, and that’s why he wins Goal Of The Weekend over the likes of team-mate Alex and Man City winger Adam Johnson.

Outstanding assist by Ashley Cole also worth a hat-tip. We take Cole’s form for granted, but what a fine player has has been in the last couple of seasons.

Camp Drog says:

“Weeeeeeeee!”

                          

By Ollie Irish

This is just a hunch, but I am about to bet real money that both Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres will be playing in the sky blue of Manchester City next season, with Emmanuel Adebayor (definitely) and Carlos Tevez (possibly) nowhere to be seen at Eastlands.

Why? It seems clear from body language and words that Drogba wants a new challenge before he gets too old (he looked bemused at being taken off at Eastlands by Ancelotti), and City would pay him shedloads for a couple of seasons at least.

Ditto Torres, who by several accounts is very upset because Liverpool made promises to him about new signings that have not been kept. The Anfield club’s status and ambitions no longer match that of the Spaniard, who apparently feels like he was tricked into staying on Merseyside. Don’t shoot the messenger: that’s just what I hear.

I don’t say this to upset Chelsea or Liverpool fans, merely because I think in the light of City’s current forward roster and their enormous wealth, a double on Drogba and Torres to sign for City by the start of next season is a decent ‘hunch’ bet. I for one will stick a tenner on it and sit back…

I can also see Tevez ending up at Chelsea next season, with Adebayor somewhere in Serie A (one of the Milan clubs, I guess).

                          

By Ollie Irish

Chelsea’s Didier Drogba is set to have a whole football stadium named after him.

French fourth-division club Levallois Sporting has announced that its new stadium will be named after Drogba. The player will be present at an official ceremony on September 29 in the small town of Levallois-Perret, located on the northern outskirts of Paris.

Drogba played youth football for Levallois when he was 15, before moving to Le Mans in 1997. He’s very much the most famous player to play for the club.

It’s not a f**king disgrace.

                          

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Didier Drogba, Chelsea

Photos: PA

TWO games, 12 goals scored, no goals conceded. That’ll do. Champions Chelsea have made the most impressive start to a Premier League season ever, albeit against two mediocre sides, and without really tearing the pitch up. Scary? You bet. If Darth Vader had an Imperial Intergalactic Football XI, it would look a lot like Chelsea in their black away kit.

The fact that Ancelotti’s side has a very settled, balanced look to it right now is ominous news for the rest of the Prem. Chelsea’s main title rivals will have to find an extra gear just to get close to them. Arsenal are the only team I can see doing that, and then they would need to play out of their skins.

As for Wigan, it’s two games played, no goals scored, 10 goals conceded. Ouch. I hope Dave Whelan trusts Roberto Martinez – he’s a good young manager and needs some backing right now. One thing Martinez should do immediately is buy a better keeper than Chris Kirkland, who may make the odd decent reflex save, but who is not Premier League class.

                          

By Ollie Irish

It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead

Chelsea win 6-0 in crushing fashion, but no one bats an eyelid. Such is the machine-like power of the reigning champions. If Didier Drogba isn’t top scorer in the league this campaign, as I predicted, I will season a hat generously and eat it in one sitting.

Hapless Scott Carson giftwrapped a couple of goals for Chelsea but the Blues didn’t need any charity. As early warnings to title rivals go, this was emphatic and a continuation of last season’s flat-track bullying. And with Michael Essien fit again, boy do they look a powerful and well-drilled side.

Photo gallery:

                          

By Ollie Irish

Someone tells Carlo Ancelotti he left the iron on

The disclaimer: I know modern Premier League teams have big squads which they rotate, and I know there’s quite a difference between the team you pick for a home match and an away match. Just so we’re clear on that.

Okay, with that in mind, and remembering that this is just a harmless bit of fun, I want you to pick Chelsea’s best starting XI for the coming season – in the Premier League, mind.

I’ll go first.

The formation: With the squad they have, 4-3-3 is probably the ideal formation, as shown last season. So that’s what I’ve gone with.

The line-up:

Petr Cech

Branislav Ivanovic – Ricardo Carvalho – Alex – Ashley Cole

Ramires – Michael Essien (c) – Frank Lampard

Nicolas Anelka – Didier Drogba – Florent Malouda

The keeper is solid, the back four – minus John Terry, who is Chelsea’s third-best CB – is very solid, the midfield is full of running, and there is guile, power and pace up front. I’ve given the captain’s armband to Essien, simply because he’s awesome and he can lead by example. Overall, this XI looks formidable.

I’ve shown you mine. Now you show me yours…

Chelsea season preview

What is Arsenal’s best starting XI?

                          

By Ollie Irish

Much fanfare was made of Nike’s big-budget ‘Write The Future’ ad campaign…

… And whilst it’s clearly a superb piece of work, it appears to have done no favours for the majority of its stars:

Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast - Broke arm in pre-tournament friendly against Japan. His team didn’t qualify for the knockout stages.

Fabio Cannavaro, Italy – ‘Led’ his team, the reigning world champs, to the bottom of arguably the weakest group (Paraguay, Slovakia and New Zealand) in the tournament. No dancing girls for Fabio.

Wayne Rooney, England – As I said in England’s World Cup reports, Rooney has been the undoubted flop of the tournament, scoring no goals and looking way below his best form. Perhaps he may yet end up living in a caravan park…

Franck Ribery, France – Part of a French team that hated its head coach and hardly broke a sweat in finishing bottom of Group A.

Tim Howard and Landon Donovan, USA – Out in the Round of 16, short of their expectations.

Ronaldinho, Brazil – Not even picked for the World Cup.

Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal - Out in the Round of 16. C-Ron was another Nike star way below his best in South Africa. Hit the headlines for the wrong reasons for spitting in the direction of a cameraman after his side’s defeat by Spain.

So, ironically, not one Nike star in the campaign has even made it to the last eight in South Africa. Cursed? Well, no, but it’s an interesting set of coincidences.

And don’t forget the cameo by tennis legend Roger Federer, who today lost at Wimbledon for the first time in ages.

Nike. Just Don’t Do It. It Will Hurt Your Career.

UPDATE: Just to add, yes, lots of other websites have also noticed the ‘curse’. Of course they have – it is fairly obvious, after all.

                          

By Ollie Irish

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Ivory Coast's Didier Drogba warms up prior to kick off

Yet another disappointing match. The first 15 minutes were quite lively but after that both teams seemed to lose ambition, no doubt afraid of losing a match when each has still to play group favourites Brazil. In that respect, it’s a shame this was the first match in the group.

Cristiano Ronaldo had one excellent shot which hit the post – one of the best strikes at the World Cup so far – but otherwise he wasn’t involved much. Didier Drogba came on in the second half, wearing a FIFA-sanctioned protective cast on his arm, and made no impact.

Both teams were much stronger in 2006, it seems to me. It’s amazing that Portugal are ranked third in the world. Sven’s Ivory Coast are solid enough but play without fire and joy. It’s a shame many African teams have lost their character by mimicking European teams (caution and organisation before invention and flair), but I guess when you have had to endure European nations dominating in the World Cup for so long, it’s a logical shift.

Brazil should beat both these teams, and based on North Korea’s spirited display against Dunga’s side, there’s no guarantee that Ivory Coast or Portugal will beat the group’s so-called whipping boys.