Feng Shui is ‘the shit’. So says cricket legend Geoff Boycott

Little Mickey’s back!

Poor Michael Owen has suffered more cruel injuries than a nymphomaniac hedgehog in recent times. So his electric form for England must have brought a smile to every face in Newcastle, who have still yet to see him at his best in a stripy shirt.
But is a fit Owen really too good to be true Geordies? Tragically there’s still three whole days to get through before your game against Derby, here’s what we think will probably go wrong in that time…

Spare a moment’s thought for Viacheslav Malafeev. Not only is he called Viacheslav Malafeev, he played in goal for Russia last night. There was nothing he could do to stop Owen’s absolute screecher, as brilliantly captured here. And how nice was it to see Michael back in the kind of form? Newcastle fans must be simply gagging to see what kind of damage he’s going to cause against poor Derby on Monday…

Photo: Laurence Griffiths / Getty Images