By James Tyler

Cameroon’s Indomitable Lions maul Diego Maradona in the opening game of Italia ’90; ten-man Cameroon won 1-0 to shock the reigning world champions

My memories of the 1990 World Cup are scattered at best and, like most of the rest of the world, predictable at worst. Oh how we’ve tried – and failed – to forget that the games themselves were dire, for the most part, with the tournament saved by all the extras: Gazza’s tears, Valderrama’s hair, Toto Schillaci’s bug-eyed goal celebrations, and Andreas Brehme’s goal in the semi-final courtesy of Paul Parker’s arse.

As an eight-year-old huddled in front of the TV for my first World Cup, those silly recollections prevail, but some two decades on, another memory stands out: the downright perfect shirt sported by the Indomitable Lions of Cameroon.

It begins and ends with the lion that roars in raised yellow felt across the heart, the one that inspired Roger Milla to pick Rene Higuita’s pocket, score goals off the bench, and dance at corner-flags. This lovingly drawn animal gave Andre Kana-Biyik and Benjamin Massing the feral intensity to maul Argentina in that famous 1-0 tournament opening shock win, setting the stage for strong tournament run. They weren’t just ordinary tackles, either; Massing’s lunge on Claudio Caniggia was borderline criminal, and yet the Argies would emerge from the tournament with a deservedly worse reputation.

Evergreen Roger Milla on the run for Cameroon against Columbia in 1990

With the lion set against the subtle two-tone stripe of the jungle green, Cameroon struck fear in the hearts of Lineker and co. in that quarter-final, and though the Three Lions were ultimately too strong, that kit catalysed Cameroon’s best-ever World Cup run. It looked even more perfect when matched with the red shorts and yellow socks, a bold and unapologetic display of national colours in an era of rudimentary design schemes akin to the 4-4-2 formation.

In shirt/shorts combos more inspired by aerodynamics than design, the Lions have mustered nary a meow in international competition since. When you look at this 1990 kit compared to recent, watered-down incarnations, it’s not hard to see why.

James is the editor of the fine Unprofessional Foul. Follow him on Twitter

More in the fav kits series (home kit unless otherwise stated):

Real Madrid, 2002

Arsenal 2002-04

Denmark 1986

Juventus 1995-96 (away)

Man Utd 1994-96

                          

Hadouken!

IN a revealing interview with the Guardian, ref Howard Webb admitted that he should have sent off Nigel De Jong for a reckless high tackle on Xabi Alonso in the 2010 World Cup final.

“Having seen it again from my armchair, I would red-card him,” Webb admitted, which I think is very big of him.

“The trouble in the actual game was that I had a poor view of that particular incident. I was looking through the back of Alonso and though I could see the foot was high, I could not be certain of the extent of the contact.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to send anyone off because it was a World Cup final, though I was mindful of the fact that the game was the pinnacle of the players’ careers as well as of mine. I just wasn’t prepared to take a guess 25 minutes into the game.”

Fair comment by Webb? He was subjected to a lot of flak (too much, in my view) over his card-happy display in the final, but I think the players – especially the cynical Dutch – made it an extremely difficult game to ref.

                          

By Ollie Irish

North Korea’s World Cup squad has been severely reprimanded after their display at the 2010 World Cup. As predicted by everyone outside of North Korea, they lost all three group games, to Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast.

On 2 July, gaffer Kim Jong-Hun and his team were summoned to the People’s Palace of Culture in Pyongyang for a marathon dressing down, according to reports by Radio Free Asia.

Myong Chol, the sports minister, was among about 400 government officials, students and athletes that too part in the six-hour session, the report said.

Players reprimanded their coach – they had no choice – at the end of the intense humiliation session.

Kim Jong-Hun was also made to work on a building site and expelled from the Workers’ Party of Korea. So… ronery… now.

In hindsight, perhaps Korea’s group game against Portugal, which the Koreans lost 7-0, wasn’t such a great choice for the nation’s first ever live sports broadcast. Ouch.

Via Aljazeera

                          

By Ollie Irish

“I see you, octopus, with your decadent tentacles. I see you and I catch you and then I eat you. I eat the West.”

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, leader of Iran, says Paul the Pscyhic Octopus is a symbol of all that is wrong with the western world. Oi, you leave Paul alone!

The Iranian president accused Octopus Paul of spreading “western propaganda and superstition”. What a twat (Ahmadinejad, not Paul) – Paul spreads nothing but love and capitalism.

He also claimed that the octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies”.

“Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values,” he said during a speech in Tehran at the weekend.

Okay, he’s got a point. Anyone who does believe in the veracity of a psychic mollusc does need to reexamine their lifestyle.

Thanks to @garyandrews for the tip.

                          

By Herman Miller

And the winner of the 2010 Stupendous Supermodel World Cup is… drum roll… Larissa Riquleme of Paraguay. Who else – she was the undisputed No.1 football babe of the summer.

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Still, it’s quite remarkable that such a skank should beat several of the world’s top supermodels, including Brazil’s Adriana Lima and Australia’s Miranda Kerr (in the final, by 52% to 48%), to win the title. There’s no accounting for taste.

                          

By Ollie Irish

“What do you think gaffer?”

“England’s for soft southern shites. Forget it.”

Paul Scholes has revealed he was given only two hours notice to decide whether to play for England in the World Cup this summer.

Scholes admits he might have said yes, but only if he had more time to make up his mind. And manager Fabio Capello delegated the job of calling Scholes to No.2 Franco Baldini. Hardly the best way to make a player feel wanted – and Scholes seems like a player who prefers the carrot to the stick.

Asked if two hours was little time to make such a big decision, Scholesy said: “That’s what I thought. That’s why I probably said no, not just because he had given me a couple of hours to think about it but the fact I needed a bit more time.

“I am not saying it definitely would have been (yes) in that case but I think it might have been. I did not expect it the call. It wasn’t even on my mind.

“It wasn’t until a week before the tournament you start seeing all the build up and thought maybe I made the wrong decision.

“I am not saying I would have made a difference. I am just saying it was a chance to play in the World Cup and I turned it down. I don’t look back and think it didn’t go well for England because I didn’t go.

“Would I have joined up if Capello had called me? I don’t know. Maybe it might have meant more.”

Maybe = yes, clearly; there are regrets there, I think.

Capello faacked up on this one, proving that his man-management skills are lacking – not that I think Scholes’s presence would have made any difference to England’s fate; Capello wouldn’t have picked him to start anyway, not at first.

                          

By Ollie Irish

Another slew of Robben-related fun (Part 1 here)

                          

By Ollie Irish

Look at his face. Just look at his face.

Republic of Ireland and Villa defender Richard Dunne has expressed his delight at France’s dismal and karmic 2010 World Cup performance.

“I didn’t see it but I did laugh,” said Dunne, whose side were denied a place at the finals by Thierry Henry’s infamous handball in the play-offs last November.

“If you’re going to cheat to get there, you might as well try when you are out there but they didn’t even do that!” the Honey Monster added, barely concealing a massive grin.

Much more of this laughing at the French, please.

“I kill you later.”

                          

By Ollie Irish

Hadouken!

More hilarious GIFs

                          

By Herman Miller

We were kind of hoping for an England v Brazil final, but now look what you’ve done. So the final of the Stupendous Supermodel World Cup 2010 sees Australia’s Miranda Kerr (not skanky but rather young-looking) take on the one, the only Larissa Riquelme of Paraguay (the very embodiment of skanky).

Look at the pics, decide, look again maybe, VOTE for your World Cup winner.

Australia:

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Paraguay:

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Vote!

We’ll keep the poll open for a week, then announce the winner.