The Second Coming Of AVB: Villas-Boas Named As New Tottenham Boss

Alan Duffy

3rd, July 2012

7 Comments

By Alan Duffy

After an ill-fated few months in charge at Stamford Bridge, the Mr Bean of the Premier League, Andre Villas Boas, has made the journey across the capital to sign on the dotted line for Spurs.

The squatting ginger tactician’s seventh month flop with Chelsea was made to look even worse by the Roberto Di Matteo-led Champions League triumph by the Blues. However, in searching for a replacement for Harry Redknapp, Tottenham bigwig Daniel Levy has plumped for the Portuguese coach to build on Redknapp’s success and get the north Londoners back into the Champions League.

Apparently the wiry former Porto boss is eyeing up a whole load of new players including Real Madrid’s Gonzalo Higuain (who may be part of a deal involving Luke Modric), Belgian defender Jan Vertonghen, Brazilian midfielder Oscar, Daniel Sturridge and Gylfi Sigurdsson. Quite a shopping list!

Will AVB be seen clutching a Tube ticket when he does his first pressie for the Lilywhites? We shall let you know. But for now, we ask the question –  is this appointment one which will please the Spurs faithful?

(WARNING! DON’T READ THIS UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR MIND RUINED FOREVER: Try signing ‘I’m Andre Villas-Boas’ to the tune of ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’ and imagine that’s how AVB answered every question in his interview with Daniel Levy.)

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Posted in Managers, Tottenham Hotspur

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7 Comments

  1. dc says:

    girl look at that body
    girl look at that body
    girl look at that body
    I do squats…

  2. Haywired says:

    When I walk in the club,
    This is what I see,
    Terry, Lamps and Drogba starin’ at me,
    I got new tactical plans an’ I ain’t afraid to show it,
    I’m Andre Villas-Boas.

  3. pray4muamba says:

    ^haha i read those comments exactly as that awful song goes.
    but why did AVB get the job at a prestigious club like spurs? lacklustre would be a compliment on how he managed chelsea. i mean hell, even old brad friedel almost has a decade on him!

  4. Rob says:

    Gutted,
    I thought we would go a season without having to put up with hearing and seeing the letters AV and bloody B.
    I suppose the fleet street press find it too hard to say Villas Boas.
    Still, he’ll be sacked in a few months.

  5. sleeba says:

    I Want this geezer to show what he can do. Most of the Chelsea players said he was a decent bloke and felt bad when he was discarded.Bloody worked out for us though…whoah hoo!!! Good Luck down the Lane.

  6. Ron says:

    For Tottenham’s sake, I hope AVB has learned from his mistakes. He was absolutely shambolic at Chelsea. I am not saying he is a bad coach but he got it all wrong at the Bridge. His man-management skills and tactics were both crap. He treated the players he disliked like shit, dropped players without reason, lost respect in the dressing room, and created a divide within the camp. He tried to rule with an iron fist, like Sir Alex, and it backfired. When he first came to Chelsea, he told the press to call him the “Group One,” but the ironic thing was that it was exactly the opposite. Lets see if Tottenham got this appointment right, naturally I hope AVB fails again…..

  7. fouldsy says:

    fuck LMFAO, fitbathatba do the best AVB song

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