Theo Walcott Confesses He And Gareth Bale Were ‘Underpant Bandits’ Together At Southampton

Chris Wright

26th, April 2013


By Chris Wright

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“Underpant bandits…UNITE!”

They may ply their trades on opposite sides of the North London schism these days but there was a time when Theo Walcott and Gareth Bale were BFFs back at Southampton, where the pair became known as the “underpant bandits” for reasons we’re not entirely certain we wish to know.

Were they just two desperately lonely longshoremen who found love in a god forsaken port town? Were they an experimental electronic-jazz fusion duo? A two-man amateur travelling Kabuki theatre company? Well, sadly, no – the two of them just arsed around with their shreddies on their heads, bursting into teammates’ rooms and clubbing them with pillows and the like.

Walcott told Sport magazine:

“We’d call ourselves the underwear bandits. I have no idea where it came from, but if you were in your room watching a film and someone burst in with their boxers on their head, you knew you were in trouble.

“Sometimes it wasn’t even pillows – it was shoes and stuff like that. Luckily I was always quite quick, so I tended to get away with it.”

So…there you go. Now you know.

Try and get on with your lives as best you can.