Is Jermaine Jenas the worst footballer in the Premiership? No – here are 10 midfielders who make him look like Pele


25th, September 2006


Hmm, JJ’s getting a lot of stick at the moment, hardly surprising after that miss. But does he deserve it? I don’t think so. He’s certainly not the worst footballer in the Premiership. How do I know? Well, here’s a list of 10 worse midfielders, for starters…

Is Jermaine Jenas the worst footballer in the Premiership? No – here are 10 midfielders who make him look like Pele continued…

10 Matt Holland (Charlton Athletic)
Look up the word ‘journeyman’ in a dictionary and you’ll find a picture of Matt ‘Matty’ Holland. Every aspect of his game is painfully average.

9 Tugay (Blackburn Rovers)
Scores one cracking fluke per season – apart from that, does nothing much.

8 Gaizka Mendieta
Used to be good, when he played in Spain. Been shit in England though. Capable of making the odd neat pass but generally a waste of space.

7 Fabio Rochemback (Middlesbrough)
The worst Brazilian midfielder I’ve ever seen.

6 Darren Fletcher (Man Utd)
Runs around like a rabbit with mixy. Not fit to lace Roy Keane’s boots.

5 Andy van der Meyde (Everton)
Abject Andy should give up now.

4 Kieran Richardson
(Man Utd)
Fast and not unskilful, but he’s also the greediest and most frustrating player in the world.

3 Albert Luque (Newcastle Utd)
The perfect example of Newcastle’s flawed transfer policy. Good in Spain, woeful in England.

2 Eric Djemba-Djemba
(Aston Villa)
The new Cantona (hmm) now languishes in Villa’s reserves.

1 Michael Brown (Fulham)
The master of the horror tackle. Absolutely no class.

There – I’d take Jenas over any of them. Do you agree?

[Ollie, Pies Ed.]

Posted in Tottenham Hotspur

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  1. sam says:

    robbie savage anyone? Wind-up merchant supreme (though has got better recently i must admit)

  2. Ollie, Pies Ed. says:

    Savage would get close, but behind all the posturing, he’s not that bad a footballer

  3. joe says:

    Lee Hendrie and Titus Bramble might be numbers 11 and 12.

  4. sam says:

    ooo! Forgot about Titus! Not a midfielder though (but we’ll let you off).
    How about the entirety of the Man City midfield?

  5. sam says:

    Last one! Keiron Dyer. Currently at newcastle; Jenas is ex newcastle (also, Lee Bowyer, also ex newcastle)
    something about the air oop north?

  6. Brian says:

    Wow, no Liverpool players? Shocking.

  7. Andrew says:

    Djemba Djemba for me. He’s just really terrible. Haven’t seen a more useless player in a long time. That O’Leary would spend so much time wondering where the hell he was shows how bad a manager he was too.

  8. daryl says:

    Bit harsh on Matty Holland. I’m not a Charlton or Ipswich fan, and I’m not Irish, but he always seems to do the job, and you can’t say that about the other 9 on the list.

  9. DC says:

    Dyer is a quality player who has had horrendous injury problems. I certainly don’t think its fair to accuse him of being poor quality like Jenas, or some of those other donkeys.

  10. dan says:

    Get Real!!
    Matt Holland is an excellent player!Plus, he’se a really nice guy.