The Great Football Song Library No.3: ‘Ossie’s Dream (Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley)’ by Chas & Dave
“Spurs are on their way to Wembley, Tottenham’s gonna do it again.”
You know Ossie’s thinking: “What the fuck am I doing here?”
Fair play to Ardiles though, for playing the role of “dumb foreigner who can’t pronounce Tottenham like what the English does” (he even called his autobiography “Ossie’s Dream”).
Today however, Ossie’s role in the song comes across as awkward and faintly embarrassing; the whiff of xenophobia is definitely in the air. Funny to think that one year after this came out, Maggie sent our boys to the Falklands. Cracking tune though.
And for the record, Spurs did win the ’81 FA Cup final, beating Man City in a replay, thanks to this classic wonder goal, scored by Ossie’s long-haired compatriot:
Bonus photo: Check out the old dude trailing Ossie in that replay (Gerry Gow, I think). He looks about 50 years old!
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MORE
No.1: ‘The Referee’s Alphabet’ by Half Man Half Biscuit
No.2: ‘Mark Viduka’ by Alistair Griffin

















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This is horrifying.
Great song…for a football song.