By Chris Wright
Lockjaw is a problem that affects two men in every ten under the age of 30
According to none other than Napoli’s president himself, Aurelio De Laurentiis, Chelsea have made the first move in a bid to sign Edinson Cavani – the man who is now within 11 goals of breaking Diego Maradona’s all-time scoring record (115 goals) for the club despite having been there for four fewer seasons.
“Chelsea are interested in Cavani and they will call me soon,” De Laurentiis told Napoli’s official radio station, Radio Marte. “I’m very happy that [Cavani’s] brother has said that he will stay, but if he did decide to go to Chelsea we would take time out to think and replace him with people worthy of replacing him.”
Meanwhile, Hulk has also claimed that the Blues have made coquettish eyes at him across the smoky honky tonk. When asked about a report linking him to a move to Stamford Bridge, Hulk said: “If I said there wasn’t anything in it, I would be lying.”
Oooh. The dirty flirt! If these two moves do come off, that’s a whole holy hell-load of money that Chelsea will be spending, with Cavani’s release clause set steadfast at £53.5million and Hulk believed to be going for around £35million.
Christ! After a disappointing couple of transfer windows, it looks like the summer of 2013 is poised to be utter pandemonium.
Thanks new Premier League TV deal! We owe you one!