cool hit counter

Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

Who Ate All The Pies Logo

Transfer Deadline Day: Who Were The Big Winners & Losers?

By Chris Wright

In which Pies take a wry look at the big winners and losers emerging from yesterday’s circus/cesspit of assorted agent-fuelled to-ings and fro-ings, starting with…

The Winners…

Yaya Sanogo

Mercifully taken out of the firing line due to Danny Welbeck’s late arrival.

That said, should, god forbid, anything happen to Welbeck between now and January, Sanogo is still pretty much the only recognised “striker” that Arsenal have to hand.

This could get messy, very messy.

Hull City

hull-ben-arfa

In Hatem Ben Arfa, Mohamed Diame, Gaston Ramirez and club record signing Abel Hernandez, Steve Bruce somehow managed to coax £36.25million’s worth of exotic foreign talent to Hull on deadline day.

We’ve no earthly idea how Brucey did it, but the Hull tourist board might want to take a few pointers.

Radamel Falcao

falcao1

This guy must skip out of bed every sodding morning with the ungodly amount of money he earns. The ridiculously expensive Colombian is richer that Scrooge McDuck, Mr Burns and the Monopoly man all squidged together!

Indeed, there are reports that poor old Falcao will only – only! – be earning £180,000-a-week at United after tax compared to the £346,000-a-week he was raking in at Monaco.

Diddums. Pies will be sure to send him a food parcel every week.

Monaco have paid around £4million (plus wages) for every goal Falcao has scored for them (11 in 20 games) last season, with Manchester United almost certain to do roughly likewise.

Is that value for money? We just don’t know any more.

Shinji Kagawa

klopp-kagawa

We know the Dortmund move was completed before deadline day, but Monday saw Kagawa reunited with his one true love: Jurgen Klopp.

“Reunited and it feels so good, etc, etc…”

* * * * *

The Losers…

Saphir Taider

After just three weeks and one half-game cameo in a pre-season friendly for Southampton, the Algerian international had his loan cut short by the Saints on deadline day and was sent packing back to Inter Milan for “failing to live up to the high levels of commitment expected”.

That was the official line, but it’s since emerged that Taider, a 22-year-old nobody with just 13 senior appearances for Inter under his belt, threw a tantrum when it emerged the Saints weren’t going to just let him walk into the first team and actually expected him to prove his worth in training first.

Emmanuel Frimpong

frimpong-ufa

As curriculum vitae’s go, 22-year-old Frimpong’s is certainly quite abstract: Arsenal; couple of uneventful loans down the divisions; Barnsley; newly-promoted Russian Premier League side FC Ufa.

Has a player’s career trajectory ever tailed off so dramatically at such a young age?

Tom Cleverley

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Manchester United v West Ham United - Old Trafford

With an £8million deal with Everton collapsing at the 11th hour due to a failure to agree personal terms, Cleverley is now stuck at United for at least the next sixth months playing under a manager who quite obviously doesn’t rate him very highly.

The Everton switch (and Roberto Martinez reunion) was precisely the kind of rejuvenating move Cleverley’s career is crying out for, but a refusal to climb down over his over-inflated wage demands could see him disappear from view almost entirely over the next few months.

Fabio Borini

Soccer - Pre-Season Friendly - Preston North End v Liverpool - Deepdale

Speaking of pulling exorbitant wage demands out of your arse, it was reported that Greedy Borini wanted £90,000-a-week to join QPR.

No wonder the deal imploded. Football is well and truly broken.

Leeds United fans

leeds

With the struggling club repeatedly promising big things on deadline day, the first big signing of the day was a bloke who already plays for them, with on-loan Catania striker Souleymane Doukara signing a permanent deal at Elland Road.

Then came another teaser…

leeds1dsf

Leeds club captain Jason Pearce then Tweeted the following cryptic message, to further titillate the fans’ fervour as the night drew to a close…

leeds2

To be fair, he could have been tucking into a particularly nice Shepherd’s pie at that moment.

Anyway, Leeds then promptly sold strikers Matt Smith and Dominic Poleon to Fulham and Oldham respectively (despite Smith only signing a new three-year contract at Elland Road a fortnight ago) before wrapping up their deadline day dealings by telling the fans…

leeds3

Well that was worth waiting for, no? The big bloody bastards!

Sky Sports News reporter Alan Irwin

dildo

Stationed outside Everton’s Finch Farm training ground, Irwin had a bright purple “marital aid” inserted into his ear duct live on national television.

The shame!

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
By Chris on September 2nd, 2014 in Featured, Newsnow, Top 10s & lists, Transfers & Rumours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
comments

3 Responses to “Transfer Deadline Day: Who Were The Big Winners & Losers?”

  1. Sean Williams says:

    There is a rumour coming out of the Emirates that Arsenal are being allowed to make one more signing from Borussia Dortmund. This will please many of Arsenal’s supporters The newest signing that we can still complete, after the transfer deadline, is Jurgen Klopp. So Stan, you already ‘ordered’, Wenger to buy a Striker, so now replace him with Klopp and do away with the ponderous, passionless football Wenger is serving up. Can’t you see Stan, Wenger has ‘given up’.

  2. Rob says:

    When you said Sanogo was a winner in the window, I thought you were going to say that Arsenal had bought a striker that makes him look half decent.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Borini asked for ridiculous wages so clubs would say no and he could stay at Liverpool.

Leave a Reply