Although getting on in years and weighed down with more baggage than a handler’s strike at Heathrow, John Terry’s move to Aston Villa is perhaps the best news the club have had since Joleon Lescott left.
Yet the Championship club have contrived to sour the good vibes and make themselves a laughing stock with a certifiably iffy social media ‘reveal’ that presents more questions than it does answers.
Monday afternoon saw Villa’s official Twitter account post a video showing a fictional – we think, hope – WhatsApp chat between club owner Dr Tony Xia, manager Steve Bruce and a bizarre cavalcade of current and former players as John Terry joins the chat and gives it his usual blood and thunder rhetoric.
— Aston Villa FC (@AVFCOfficial) July 3, 2017
Not only is it just plain weird, but it also throws up some choice quandaries:
- Are we to believe that Dr Xia and Bruce conduct transfer business in a WhatsApp group in front of past and present players?
- Moreover, why are Paul McGrath, Olaf Mellberg and Martin Laursen in this chat? Are they being kept hostage?
- Is Gabby Agbonlahor really still at Villa? Has anyone told him?
- Are we to believe John Terry actually offers that much clarity in his texts? He’s always struck as the “I wanna b wiv u bbz” type to be honest.
Whatever the answers to these fundamental questions are, we’re sure that Birmingham City fans, a little down in the mouth after Terry rejected an offer and plumped for their cross-city rivals, will lap this up like nobody’s business.
Best of luck for the season, Villains. You’re probably going to need it at this rate.