Liverpool To Soften Fernando Torres Exit Blow With £49m Trio
By Chris Wright
If the national press is to be believed (I know, I know…), it looks increasingly likely that Liverpool’s gilded pony of pure light, Fernando Torres, will be a Chelsea player by this time tomorrow – with £50 million being deposited in the Anfield coffers by way of compensation.
However, all is not entirely lost as David N’Gog is going nowhere it looks as though Liverpool may be able to use the cash raised by Torres’ potentially imminent sale to bring in a three-pronged salvo of replacements for the Spanish wonder horse.
First up will be Luis Suarez, who passed a medical at the club last night and will be officially sworn in at some point later on today.
The second new arrival, according to several newspapers (most notably the Daily Telegraph), will be Aston Villa winger Ashley Young.
The Telegraph are reporting that Liverpool have already had a £12 million bid turned down for Young, and will return to the bargaining table today with a further £6 million – an offer that Villa would be unwise to turn down, seeing as though the man in question only has 18 months remaining on his current contract.
Thirdly, the word on the wire is that the Reds will offer Blackpool a ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ £8 million for their captain Charlie Adam and, despite the almost inevitable posturing of manager Ian Holloway, it is thought that the Seasiders’ steadfast facade may finally crumble.
Which leaves £1 million to be spent however Liverpool see fit! May I suggest they fritter it away on 2,000,000 Kinder Eggs to be distributed amongst the townsfolk?
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It would be suitable compensation for the loss of Torres but I would raise concerns over your purchase price of said Kinder eggs…you’re looking at an investment of about £50 per egg which seems a tad on the dear side..
i’d give the extra mil to pepe reina, just for being him.
Oh, did I say Kinder? I mean ‘knock-off’ Faberge.
Maths was never my strong suit – as my 8% cumulative A Level score will attest to!
Ye we should get Young and Adams but dont forget we need a good replacement for torres… I would suggest Pato or Benzema
Young’s got an 18m exit clause as well, apparently. Still silly money, just like 50m for that mardy underachieving crock Torres. Adam and suarez look like savvy deals though.
bastard torres! bad luck will curse him all the way in his chelsea carrer!
Oh God, am I the only one who wants to rip his own head off and shit down the whole at the thought of Anelka being back at Anfield? Screw his skills; he’s just such an odious, utterly self-absorbed piss piglet!
Torres had one good season at Liverpool, it’s time for him to move on. He’s not the saviour that all the Scouse Bin Dippers had hoped for.