Transfer Toss: Man City To Lodge Colossal Bid For Cristiano Ronaldo

By Chris Wright

And lo, Lord knows how, but the Daily Mirror have, this very morning, unearthed news of the single-most colossal transfer coup of the year, nay…of all time – Manchester City are ready to smash capitalism to pieces with a record-breaking summer move for Cristiano Ronaldo.


From the Mirror’s breath-taking EXCLUSIVE:

“Manchester City are ready to smash the world transfer record to bring Cristiano Ronaldo back to the Premier League.

“City want the Portuguese superstar to spearhead their bid to win the trophy next season.

“Ronaldo would also prove a high-profile replacement for another ex-Manchester United star, Carlos Tevez, should the Argentine decide to leave.”

Love it. No ‘anonymous’ sources cited or even fabricated specially for the occasion, no extraneous information, no word on just how large this ‘record-breaking fee’ of which they speak will be – the Mirror just plump for the twin peaks of glorious speculation and supreme conjecture.

Break out the bunting folks, C-Ron’s coming home going absolutely nowhere.