By Chris Wright

When Teniente Farina welcomed Libertad to their patch in a Paraguayan junior league game recently, the game ended with every single player and substitute from both sides – 36 people in total – being shown a red card after the match ended in a textbook on-field slugfest.

With five minutes left on the clock, each side had a player sent off by referee Nestor Guillen for swinging at each other, only for the two players in question to refuse to leave the pitch and continue their dust-up. It didn’t take long for everyone else to join in, with a hail of punches, slaps and neck-high kung-fu kicks swiftly raining in from all angles as the match officials fled to their dressing room.

So said Hernan Martinez, president of Teniente Farina:

“The referees didn’t even stay on the field. As soon as the fighting broke out they went to the dressing room. They ran through the tunnel to their dressing room.

“They weren’t able to see anything that happened. But, in the report, to more or less wash their hands of the responsibility, they expelled all 36 players.”

President of Libertad, Sixto Nunez, similarly echoed his counterpart’s assessment, claiming that the cowardly officials had neglected their duty in running for cover when WWIII broke out:

“The referee needed to take better care of the boys. He should have made sure that the two dismissed players were completely off the field.

“Instead, the officials left the field and when the players were all leaving together that’s when the fighting started again.”

Yeah, that’s right chaps. It was the officials who were out of line.

You’ll no doubt be pleased to learn that all 36 players were all automatically suspended, and are currently stewing while the Paraguayan junior league’s top brass come up with a suitable punishment for them all.

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