By Ollie Irish
The royal penis is
clean, er, perhaps not as big as those ads had led us to believe…
If your Italian is not so good, the story is as follows: Elena Di Cioccio, a reporter for Silvio Berlusconi’s Uno station (yes, Berlusconi also owns AC Milan, Beckham’s current home), wanted to see if Becks was really packing Dirk Diggler-heat downstairs, as all those pants ads suggest. So she pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, walked up to Beckham while he was being interviewed in Madrid for an American TV station, and grabbed his crotch.
“Off the pitch we have seen fascinating photographs of David Beckham in his underpants and seemingly very well endowed and even his wife says that he is well equipped and calls him Golden Balls,” Di Cioccio said.
“Well the image may have slipped slightly as he has been replaced in the Armani campaign by a younger footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, but we wanted to find out if he was as well endowed as the pictures suggest or if they were touched up.”
And Di Cioccio’s conclusion? A rough translation: “I touched it but it’s small! David you have conned us all. What did you use, cotton wool? It’s a trick!”