USA 2-0 Canada: GolTV Provide Worst…Commentary…Ever (Video)

By Chris Wright

Okay, so maybe it’s not the worst commentary ever but, come on; “Go celebrate with yo people!!”? “Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake”? “WAAH WUOAHH WAHHH CLINT DEMPSEEEEY!!! WOW WOW WEEWAH!!!”?  – it’s pretty damn bad.

For shame GolTV, for shame.

Posted in FAIL, Videos

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  1. shivam says:

    The only decent commentator on GOLTV is the legendary Ray Hudson.

  2. MaxMad says:

    Holy hell, this is shit.

  3. Tom says:

    I love clint Dempsey

  4. KW says:

    As an American, this is why I refuse to watch the MLS or any US feed without European or British commentators. Maybe there are some MLS fans who will say that’s being pretentious (or just generally an asshole) but it all just sounds so wrong to hear Americans commentating on matches.

    Also, you want painful football-related viewing? You should’ve seen the US coverage of the Champions League final. For the first time it was on one of the major networks, Fox, and not a pay TV station, so they tried to appeal to the lowest common denominator. There was much talk of Shakira and Pique (including unnecessary innuendo) as well as a segment comparing the rules of American football and football entitled Fútbol vs Football where an American football player guided viewers through the differences between the sports. I wish I were kidding.

  5. Joe says:

    “Go celebrate with yo people” Racist much? They also completely fail to mention that the keeper pretty much Robert Greens the first goal in.

  6. Me says:

    @KW….. Micheal Strahan bit about rules to the game was aweful. Also this wasn’t the first year on Fox. Last years final between Inter and Bayern was on Fox.

  7. :) says:

    bet you they wouldn’t be making such a noise if it was canda scoring

  8. GoodWillHinton says:

    I kept waiting to hear “Boom…goes the dynamite!”

  9. Eric says:

    The other guy is OK. But loled so hard at ‘WOW WOW WEEWAH!!!’.

  10. Ryan says:

    Wow, that sounded like a guy desperately trying to get a catch phrase! The idiot’s name is Max Bretos, some one send him some ritalin. We are not alone in thinking he sucks:

  11. John says:

    “KW” typical idiot trying to “impress brits” with his comments. try a bit harder will you?

  12. gene wilder says:

    Get shots “on frame”..!?! Brilliant. Also hearing a bit of “Leeroy Jenkins” in the second goal…

  13. Alex says:

    I’m an American as well.

    what a disgrace. i hate listening to lalas give his two cents before every big televised game. i would much rather watch on mute.

  14. Murray says:

    The American Ray Hudson… only half as funny and twice as stupid.

  15. Wen says:

    Not even originality.. “WAH WAH WEE WAH” is what Borat would say when he thinks of Pamela Anderson.

  16. Tony Low says:

    honestly though, this guy needs to face it. there’s no place in sport commentary for him, at least not until he stops being such a twat.

  17. George says:

    @John You’re a fool, he’s just stating his opinion, go troll on some other site.

  18. VA Red says:

    To be fair I watched the match on Fox Soccer Channel in the US and as much as I agree American football announcers are annoying their commentators weren’t bad. Kyle Martino actually has some decent analysis and isn’t a brash twat like everyone on Goltv ‘cept Hudson and the Hispanic commentator.

  19. Ahahah :D
    I thought the SAME thing last night :D

  20. Gino Annie? says:

    This is why football should be illegal in america. Leave them with the ‘world(american) series’ of baseball and the hoo haa of Grid Iron, oh yeah wooooooooooooo we’re american and proud…………… Yeah we know, we heard you

  21. rich says:

    being an american with an english dad, i have to say american commentators are the f***ing worst! they make un-intelligent crass comments, and always think they know exactly what the players are thinking. english commentators let the game play-on and do not constantly jibber-jabber into the microphone, which is the most annoying ear-sore. Martin Tyler covers most international football over here in the states, from the Sky feed I suppose, and he and others are in a different class than the americans. I can’t watch football with american commentators, its not right!

  22. Sofa Pizza says:

    I suppose ‘fulm’ is Fulham?

  23. Markell says:

    Dear God this makes me ashemed of being an American and a football supporter…

  24. aj says:

    Another American here.. pretty much all of the commentators we get in the states are awful. It just happens that the only good ones here are English – Adrian Healey and Ian Darke (fairly new additions) both do some decent work for ESPN. If its anyone else, I usually switch to a spanish language broadcast or watch on mute.

  25. Calski says:

    @John – So is Clint Dempsey only out to “impress brits” as well?

  26. Miguel - NYC says:

    wow…this is pretty bad. WTF is wrong with this dude?

  27. Steven says:

    This is why i watch telemundo. Who is this douche? If anyone is in need of a punch to the dick its this guy.

  28. Tom Jones says:

    Sounds like the commentator has headed a medicin ball a bit too often.

  29. Chris B says:

    This wasn’t GolTV, it was the official Concacaf feed (really!) – probably a couple of peeons got roped in fifteen minutes before kickoff.

    @Ryan, I don’t know who this ass-hat is, but it’s not Max Bretos. Bretos has a mountainous ego and loves to try to impress the Brits, but he’s at least capable of speaking in complete sentences.

  30. Soccer Professional says:

    not even a potential future Sex God understudy apprentice in sight


  31. Sex God says:

    @Soccer Professional

    you took the words right out of my mouth, sir

    you may have some Sex God understudy potential!

  32. Soccer Professional says:

    @Sex God

    dont say that to me you little loser. it was a joke. you and your stupid “Sex God” shit can fuck off and leave this website now you wanker

  33. Sex God says:

    @Soccer Professional

    oh okay then

    i apologise for my idiotic behaviour and i will leave this websitte as i am a raging homosexual

  34. 'Sota Dan says:

    A Fifty-Cent reference (love you like a fat kid loves cake)? Yikes.

    Agree with KW re: Champions final. Curt f’n Menefee? The “throwball” announcer? That’s who FOX trots out? C’mon, son.

  35. dfg says:

    WHAT THE ****??!?!?!??!

  36. Jose says:

    Goal TV does suck, especially “reporter” Andres Cordero. Check out the screen shots on the blog below that show a Facebook chat where he admitted going down on a guy. Feel free to share the URL.

  37. says:

    I was at that game, and let me tell you it was a lot more fun not having to hear that guy.
    American? Yes. Does every american announcer suck? YES. The lingo of fooball just doesn’t sound as good with our American dialect.
    There have been a bunch of references to shitty yank announcers, but let’s not forget Al Michaels, american football commentator with the sacred priveledge of announcing a knockout World Cup game in 2006, only to anglicize the Portuguese names. “Here we have Christian Ronaldo with the ball…passes back to the goalie Harold Goams”

  38. Ping Yang says:

    Fuck of all Yanks

  39. bckVILLA says:

    Another American weighing in here….embarassing.

    Guess we haven’t come too far from the 1978 World Cup final when Jim McKay brilliantly pointed ot “Now remember, in Soccer, the goalie CAN use his hands….”

    Oh how I yearn for the days of Seamus Malin and the immportal Toby Charles

  40. briank212 says:

    It’s only in Football (Soccer games) that American commentators sound ridiculous, the colour commentators, or (co-commentators) as we say, are usually more level headed and speak with a greater degree of rational thinking. If you compare Martin Tyler to American commentators, it’s scary in the sense of the chosen vocabulary he utilises versus the things Americans say. I.e, I heard an American comm describe a goalkeeper unsuccessfully saving a penalty kick as “He dives coast to coast and misses the ball”, now that is o.t.t and utterly ridiculous. I’m not saying that Americans speak english like retards, as in Movies, TV series, they sound absolutely fine, but in sports, it’s horrificly bad.

  41. RyanSSL says:

    The British commentators we have to listen to during the Champions League on Fox Soccer Channel are some of the worst commentators I have ever heard in my life so its not just the Americans.

  42. Another embarrassed Amricano says:

    Besides this fool of a commentator, what I hate about GolTV’s futbol broadcasts are how they will often times piggy back on a non-english feed and almost completely turn down the volume so that you cant even hear any sounds from within the stadium…no crowds cheering, whistling, or just resacting to what’s happening on the field. That’s the worse.


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