By Chris Wright
I’m usually fairly passive when it comes to getting riled up over football, but I routinely make an exception for Real Madrid’s ankle-buster in chief, Pepe.
Dear sweet Jesus-on-a-stick how I hate this disgusting, conniving, cowardly, nefarious, maliciously-unhinged c**t with the burning passion of a thousand suns – the most recent case in point being his Achilles-shredding, head-kicking assault on Levante’s Xavi Torres during Madrid’s shock 1-0 defeat over the weekend…
…and frankly, I could go on and on and on. I mean, would you just look at the man?
There’s no way there’s room in that tiny, foetal, unformed alien cranium for a fully-functioning human brain. It’s an anatomical impossibility. For his crimes against the spirit of the game he should be sectioned, taken out back and Old Yella’ed at the soonest available juncture.
I put it to you, is there a more despicable arsehole in world football? Personally, I’m drawing a blank.