By Chris Wright
Andy Carroll and his other half, Billi Mucklow (something to do with that ‘Everybody Loves Essex’ thing), have been busy showing off their new house of late, posting a series of photos across their respective Instagrams of the chintzy abode they now share.
Tastefully decorated in classic ‘Stephen Ireland‘ style, Carroll’s gaff is a vision of horrendous, epilepsy-inducing neon pink gaudiness.
They got mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice…
They are all just prisoners here, of their own device…
And in the master’s chamber they gather for the feast…
They stab it with their steely knives but they just can’t kill the beast…
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door, I had to find the passage back to the place I was before…
“Relax,” said the night man, “We are programmed to receive…”
“You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!”
Taste be damned, thy have no place here.
Now if you’ll excuse us, Pies needs to take a Nurofen or five.
(Photos: billimucklow/andytcarroll/Instagram)