England: Get Peter Crouch And Andy Carroll On That Bloody Plane To 2018 World Cup (And Keep Joe Hart As Far Away As Humanly Possible)

Chris Wright

17th, April 2018


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Two of the Premier League’s preeminent ‘big men’ came to the fore as West Ham and Stoke produced a 1-1 draw at the London Stadium on Monday night.

The Grand Old Duke of Crouch opened the scoring in the 79th minute, but only after a trademark lapse of technique and concentration from Joe Hart provided the gangly striker with the means to do so…

Rather wonderfully, Crouch’s sharp finish saw the 37-year-old move out in front as the Potter’s all-time Premier League top scorer, with 44 goals to his name. Jon Walters, who has since departed for Burnley, is in second place with 43.

Get him on the plane to Russia. We’re dead serious. Book him an aisle seat (for leg room) and play him in every single game. The man has 22 goals in 42 caps. He knows what it takes.

In joyous scenes for fans of cult lummoxes, it was Andy ‘Carrolly’ Carroll who rescued the point for West Ham in the 90th minute – not with a battering-ram header or or by pure brawn, but with skill and precision…

Sod it, get Carroll on that England plane too.

Let’s sling those high balls into the box and have some bloody fun for once, eh?.

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