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It’s Official: The Vuvuzela Is UBIQUITOUS

By Ollie Irish

It cannot be stopped. The vuvuzela is EVERYWHERE.

Richard Williams made quite an useful point on a recent Guardian Football Weekly podcast. He reminded us that the vuvuzela is not a traditional African instrument, it’s a relatively recent plastic phenomenon. As such, we shouldn’t be going overboard about not respecting South African tradition by calling for the horns to be banned. Nor should we be afraid to say: they are annoying. Fucking annoying.

It looks like the vuvuzela will become ubiquitous in football very quickly, whether we like it or not. Soon it may not even be associated with South African football at all. Be afraid.

Thanks to @tim_clarke for image tip

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By Ollie Irish on June 17th, 2010 in Funnies, World Cup. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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10 Responses to “It’s Official: The Vuvuzela Is UBIQUITOUS”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thats bullshit. The Vuvuzela has been present at nearly every football match played in South Africa for the last 20 years. It is part of our football culture and this is a SOUTH AFRICAN world cup. People claim the vuvuzlea kills any match atmosphere but anyone who has ever been to a match where vuvuzelas are prevalent will that this just isnt true. This world cup has been vibrant and energetic and I challenge you to find one person in the country, of any nationality, that isnt thoroughy enjoying it.

    Ps. Try blowing a vuvuzela, its addictive, lots of fun, and might stop you whining for a few minutes

  2. kritter says:

    i’m in the unfortunate but always entertaining position of being a MLS season-ticket holder. There are crap loads of vuvzelas here. And yes they do kill the match atmosphere. There will be a chant or a song going, and then it just gets drowned out by that obnoxious horn. I’m thinking of starting a t-shirt campaign; they will simply read “Say No To Vuvuzela”

  3. Nick Sincere says:

    Actually, we had long plastic horns that were eerily similar here in the US of A when I was a kid, oh, let’s just say several decades ago. Perhaps they are popular at U of SA football matches but really, they are plastic horns made in China that have been around for a long time.

  4. Joe says:

    Mr. Anonymous-They could just as easily have held the tournament elsewhere, but FIFA decided on SA out of pity for Africa. You’re the ones who should be honored and making sacrifices, not the rest of the world. The vuvuzela is not a cultural thing like the legions of Orange or the Brazillian Samba drums-they’re just a bloody nuissance. How does the drone of a million bees (which also drowns out any chanting or clapping) contribute to the ‘atmosphere’? You say the World Cup has been vibrant and energetic-whith the lowest amount of goals at this stage since 1986? I think not. To get back on the Vuvuzela issue, there where hardly any when SA got spanked by Uruguay yesterday, which leads me to believe that the South African fans only use them to piss everyone off.

  5. LEO says:

    there’s always a horn or to at a game that you can hear every once in a while. what makes a vuvuzela different than your typical cheap plastic horn? and while it is annoying, you end up tuning it out. i remember last year at the confederations cup last year i couldnt stand it, but now it doesnt even effect me. maybe that williams guy was right about it not being part of south african culture, but dont hold ur breath for it to be banned, because if they dont get banned then worrying about it so much will ruin your world cup

  6. Marcamps says:

    yeah, these things aren’t native to South Africa. we’ve been blessed with their goddamn annoying presence here in the US & Mexico – most notably when El Tri plays friendlies in the States (which happens, um, a lot), and to a lesser extent, in some Mexican league games (depending on the venue/city). and i refuse to call them by that V-word; i knew them by “plastic horns” ten years ago, i’ll keep calling them “plastic horns” now.

  7. Fez says:

    I never said that they’re unique to South Africa, just because you’ve seen them somewhere else doesnt mean that they’re NOT part of our football watching culture.

    To Joe, have you ever been a football match? Never mind one with actual vuvuzelas? In person they sound nothing like a swarm of bees. Regardless of why the cup was given to South Africa to host (and your argument that it was ‘out of pity’ is so pathetic im not going to address it) it’s ours to host as we see fit.

    As for this being the world cup with ‘lowest amount of goals at this stage since 1986′, you come across as a person who has never been to a football match in their life and watches once every 4 years. The goals might have been slow in coming, but there’ve been some fantastic matches with superb defensive performances (Argentina vs. Nigeria, Denmark vs. Holland), as well as some shocks (spain vs. Switzerland, France vs. Mexico) and some drubbings (Germany Australia and Argentina SOuth Korea). Sounds fantastic to me.

    Bottom line is, the vuvuzelas are here to stay for the world cup, so rather than whining at every chance you get, get into the spirit and enjoy the fact that there’s 4 and a half ours of football live every day. It certainly makes me smile.

    Ps. Didnt mean to leave first comment as ‘anonymous’

  8. a mac says:

    I just hope they dont come back to the prem where the fans are intelligent/original enough to make chants and noises which arnt just a monotone drones! And fez the fact you merit this world cup with “superb defensive performances” sums it up really, they just not espetially interesting to watch inless ur Italian, this world cup has been uneventful compared to worldcups of late!

  9. slimj091 says:

    “I just hope they dont come back to the prem where the fans are intelligent/original enough to make chants and noises which arnt just a monotone drones! And fez the fact you merit this world cup with “superb defensive performances” sums it up really, they just not espetially interesting to watch inless ur Italian, this world cup has been uneventful compared to worldcups of late!”

    obviously you aren’t one of these “intelligent” fans that you speak of if you can’t spell especially, unless, or you’re.

    as for your intelligent chants

    “Who’s that tw*t from Argentina?
    Who’s that money grabbing whore?
    Carlos Tevez is his name,
    And he hasn’t got a brain,
    And he won’t be winning trophies any more…”

    yes.. very intelligent and much more mature than blowing a horn huh?

  10. Frosty says:

    Yes, of course spelling is the only basis for someone’s intelligence quotient! Those things are extremely fucking annoying and I hope everybody blowing one ruptures their own eardrum from a retarded “fan” near them blowing another. Good day, internet!

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