By Ollie Irish
Rejoice and break out the bunting, for football is COMING HOME! Not for eight years, of course, but the long journey starts here. I am slightly excited in the nipple region – that could be just the cold weather, mind. This really is wonderful news, not only for English football (An example: Plymouth Argyle might now stave off financial ruin with the promise of a new World Cup stadium) but for England as a whole. Unlike the Olympics, which has cost a HELL of a lot to put together, and largely from the ground up, we already have most of what is needed in place to stage a triffic tournament. I already sense a stirring in the British economy’s trouser region. A superb presentation starring England’s self-appointed Three Lions (David Beckham, PM David Cameron and HRH Prince Wills) helped give England the crucial momentum to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. It’s a victory won in extra time, with Vladimir Putin looking angrily at his watch, and won despite the best efforts of the British media to dig the dirt on Sepp Blatter and co.
Tits, Russia won it. Me and my big mouth.
Damn you, Ivan Drago.
Seriously though, Eastern Europe does deserve its shot. Well done to the Russian bid. Twas Arshavin’s single tear wot won it. Either that or the girls in bikinis.
You see what you’ve done, Sepp…
Shame on you.