Russia Will Host 2018 World Cup – England Lose Out Again

Ollie Irish

2nd, December 2010

37 Comments

By Ollie Irish

Rejoice and break out the bunting, for football is COMING HOME! Not for eight years, of course, but the long journey starts here. I am slightly excited in the nipple region – that could be just the cold weather, mind.

This really is wonderful news, not only for English football (An example: Plymouth Argyle might now stave off financial ruin with the promise of a new World Cup stadium) but for England as a whole. Unlike the Olympics, which has cost a HELL of a lot to put together, and largely from the ground up, we already have most of what is needed in place to stage a triffic tournament. I already sense a stirring in the British economy’s trouser region.

A superb presentation starring England’s self-appointed Three Lions (David Beckham, PM David Cameron and HRH Prince Wills) helped give England the crucial momentum to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. It’s a victory won in extra time, with Vladimir Putin looking angrily at his watch, and won despite the best efforts of the British media to dig the dirt on Sepp Blatter and co.

Tits, Russia won it. Me and my big mouth.

Damn you, Ivan Drago.

Seriously though, Eastern Europe does deserve its shot. Well done to the Russian bid. Twas Arshavin’s single tear wot won it. Either that or the girls in bikinis.

You see what you’ve done, Sepp…

Shame on you.

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37 Comments

  1. Joe says:

    If this doesn’t prove that the whole bunch is corrupt…

  2. Davy says:

    Fook, tits, wank shoite!!!

  3. Chris says:

    I’ll be damned.

  4. Baggees says:

    Renowned for racist chanting in stadia – should be really nice for black players…nice one FIFA..cheers!! No wonder Putin didn’t turn up – twas in the bag already (just how much was uhmmm)…BALLS!!

  5. georgian666 says:

    fuuuuck !

  6. pieman says:

    The 1 country in the world i least want to watch football in is Russia, mafia run, very expensive, and the worst neo nazi football hooligans in the world, all wanting a piece of the English.
    Not that fussed about watching it in Quatar either though. At least no dodgy corupt and a-moral countries are being rewarded by FIFA though.

  7. Pedro says:

    FIFA is corrupt. Russia is corrupt. We’ve been bending backwards for asshats like Blatter for years now. Who the fuck is FIFA anyway? Where does their legitimacy come from? I find this whole nonsense quite amusing and I hope England, Portugal, Spain, Belgium and the Netherlands are pissed off enough to start stirring some serious shit and get some sort of international organisation to oversee FIFA and properly investigate into their shenanigans.

  8. stuart says:

    BBC, Lord Triesman, The Telegraph all have a lot to answer for!

  9. pieman says:

    well said Pedro

  10. gaptooth says:

    absolute daylight robbery !

    to add insult to injury – its qatar after that – well fifa has sold its soul – thats for sure

    fifa

  11. tapioca says:

    Chances of Goal Line Technology by Qatar?

  12. Anonymous says:

    Christ Ollie, your predictions have been shite lately. Haha.

    Is this really such a shock though? Putting the corruption to one side, FIFA have had a very clear commercial (read: money-grabbing) strategy since USA ’94. They go where the ‘new’ money is whilst throwing an established nation into the mix to make their dastardly plan less obvious.

    Just look at the pattern since ’94;

    94 – USA (New and potentially lucrative market)
    98 – France (established nation)
    02 – Japan/South Korea (New and potentially lucrative market)
    06 – Germany (established nation)
    10 – South Africa (New and potentially lucrative market i.e the entire African continent)
    14 – Brazil (established nation)
    18 – Russia (New and potentially lucrative market)
    22 – Qatar (New and potentially lucrative market)
    26 – Established nation. Spain? Italy? Holland?

    So perhaps it was a foregone conclusion anyway. Complaints about press coverage were probably just red herrings.

  13. PhilandoTorres says:

    Is this really such a shock though? Putting the corruption to one side, FIFA have had a very clear commercial (read: money-grabbing) strategy since USA ’94. They go where the ‘new’ money is whilst throwing an established nation into the mix to make their dastardly plan less obvious.

    Just look at the pattern since ’94;

    94 – USA (New and potentially lucrative market)
    98 – France (established nation)
    02 – Japan/South Korea (New and potentially lucrative market)
    06 – Germany (established nation)
    10 – South Africa (New and potentially lucrative market i.e the entire African continent)
    14 – Brazil (established nation)
    18 – Russia (New and potentially lucrative market)
    22 – Qatar (New and potentially lucrative market)
    26 – Established nation. Spain? Italy? Holland?

    So perhaps it was a foregone conclusion anyway. Complaints about press coverage were probably just red herrings.

  14. Chris says:

    Shut up Stuart.
    Lord Triesman was was pulled apart by the media for basically flirting with a fit girl and saying something that a lot of us think – the whole bidding system is rested on backscratching and bungs.
    And regarding the BBC and Telegraph I’d much rather have a media in Britain that unveiled the ridiculous corrupt culture in Fifa and it’s answer to nobody nature than ones who would gladly shut up to appease the corrupt people they discovered about.

  15. Jimbo says:

    as long as i come back with a girl that looks like irina shayk….

  16. yeeeeeeeah says:

    It should have gone to either England or Spain/Portugal. My favourite though was Spain/Portugal

  17. John Barnes says:

    Yeah, shut up Stuart!

    Lord Triesman said what we all feel and privately for that matter, while the BBC and The Times (not Telegraph) uncovered corruption with in FIFA.

    Do you want us to suck Blatter’s cock a but more so that he can have his little World Cup in our country and be exempt from any tax laws and make billions from us.

    I would love for major FA’s to give FIFA the finger and not bother with International football, I mean who here even gives 2 shits about International football these days, the quality is dreadful, and we always under perform. Give me club football any day.

  18. DJ says:

    FIFA never wanted it to go to England, even without all the journo investigations we still wouldn’t have got it. FIFA knows it can do anything it likes with no-one to answer to. Blatter is scum of the highest order and all this was about him giving football to nations that haven’t had it. Russia, i can see to a point why they won it, but Qatar???

  19. robbiedavids says:

    It is a disgrace but it was clearly gonna happen, see this piece for why http://wp.me/p1cykJ-3G
    They are the most beautifully suited bed fellows FIFA and UEFA

  20. pieman says:

    Rather than critising the press, i hope now all the worlds press investigates and reports the coruption that is FIFA.

  21. georgian666 says:

    russia sucks, wc 2026 in solomon islands! shame…

  22. Les says:

    Anfield, Emirates, Old Trafford, New Tottenham Stadium and WEMBLEY!!!!! or the Luhzniki with a plastic pitch. Hmmm.

  23. SeanBCFC says:

    in soviet country, you don’t play football! football plays you!

  24. Tom Jones says:

    English people must be the sorest losers in the world. Bohoo we didn’t get the world cup. Bohoo we are the best. Bohoo they are corrupt. Bohoo we are all mongs.

  25. The 100% Greek says:

    It’s a total shame, England should have hosted it….. And what about the “oil-dollars” of QATAR?? I thought last summer’s cup was the worst ever,now i am pretty sure Qatar’s will be the worst.

  26. T says:

    I loved this article hah

  27. Fellaini's Fro says:

    Here’s hoping brazil keeps doing what they’re doing (fuck all), maybe england can get a hand me down world cup thrown together for 2014.

  28. syndex says:

    we should just boycott it would make the point.

  29. deckard says:

    pathetic lil cunts. elderly folks in rest homes don’t get fed properly or go days without a shower, more and more families are struggling to makes ends meet, fighting a pointless war in afghanistan which costs millions each year. and now u dumb british tits want some overrated crap tournament which 1)u wankers ain’t gonna win anyway 2)will only lose u money NOT make u any 3)u’ll already lose buckets on the 2012 games u greedy bastards.
    football is NOT coming home hahahahahahaha usually i hate fifa, but WELL DONE on this.

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  31. David Macbeth says:

    It is baffling how the bid with the best technical report (fact), the best security report (fact) and made what was widely believed to be a fantastic presentation and have a fantastic bid (Blatters words, not mine) could effectively receive just 1 vote.

    If we had lost the vote on fair and valid grounds then fine but to gain 1 vote despite all of the above is remarkable.

    Russia, i can see where they are coming from and the bid has potential, Qatar is just an absolute joke isn’t it?

  32. R.M says:

    What a joke!!! I hope the ENGLISH media go to town on FIFA and truely expose them for what they really are. A Racist and corrupt organisation.

  33. stuart says:

    @Chris & John Barnes…
    just to clarify a few things,
    Lord Triesman was caught running his mouth in a public place trying to impress a young Russian bird, he was overheard, then the press in their wisdom decided to run with the story & publish it, leading to Triesman standing down and in turn leaving the FA with a void at the top, that started the ball rolling.

    the Sunday Times(sry not Telegraph) investigated 2 FIFA top brass and ended up getting them suspended for alleged corruption, now rightly or wrongly this naturally pissed off thier FIFA buddies who allready have a hatred for English football.

    then the BBC mashed up a half baked documentary with a reporter that no-one had ever heard of shouting at FIFA members outside hotels – again pissing them off and no doubt pissing off thier buddies even more! the BBC just had to air Panorama 3 days before the decision?!!
    wouldn’t it have been more prudent to have sat on these stories until after the result? then at least we would have some grounds & evidence to object to FIFAs decision?

    FIFA are corrupt it’s plain to see and it’s even plainer to see that they hate the English i agree but surely you can see that these 3 factors above have played a huge part in us only recieving just one vote other that our own?

  34. V says:

    Qatar is just like

    WHAT THE FUCK?!

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  36. Gibby says:

    So what do you expect. Most of the nations on the comittee you’ve either invaded, taken to war or pissed off at some point in time and that’s without wikileaks ! I bet you even the american comittee member didn’t vote in favour of youz (best name ever btw – Chuck Blazer).
    You’ve got the olympics to make the money off of which will allow you to showcase how wonderful Landon Town is. Surely you didn’t expect both !!!…….. ah but your ENGERLAND ! sorry.

    let’s face it. Russia’s got better prozzies and wozza probably had everything crossed it was them from the word go……….. plus i blame Becksie for not having a shave and a haircut !

  37. Montesquieu says:

    Georgian, you’re arse aches from the anal sex that Russia forced on you in that small battle for Stalin’s home.

    Glad to see Russia get it, even though it’s all pointless because the world ends in 2012…

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