Chelsea: All the latest Chelsea flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

  • Chelsa sign Boulahrouz the Cannibal August 21st, 2006 Chelsea

    Dutch hardman Khalid Boulahrouz has completed his move to Chelsea. He goes by the nickname ‘Cannibal’, which is one of the best nicknames we’ve had in the Premier League for ages. That’s exactly what football needs: more intimidating, WWF-style nicknames. Any more nickname suggestions? Oh, here’s a brief clip of Khalid the Cannibal clattering Ronaldo […]

  • Ashley Cole omitted from Arsenal’s squad August 18th, 2006 Arsenal

    Ashley Cole is NOT in Arsenal’s squad for their Premiership opener against Aston Villa, despite claiming he is available to play. Ooh, the plot thickens. Can we assume that this means a deal has been struck with Chelsea? If so, why hasn’t it been announced yet? Arseblog, who usually know what the craic is, seems […]

  • Will Chelsea crumble under pressure this season? August 14th, 2006 Chelsea

    So, an uninspired Chelsea got beaten by a lively looking Liverpool outfit yesterday. What does that tell us? Well, not a great deal as a season shouldn’t be judged in pre-season, but a niggling thought in my head came to the fore again. Will Chelsea crack under the immense pressure of the upcoming season? We […]

  • Chelsea apparently break off from Cole talks August 10th, 2006 Arsenal

    So the Cashley Cole saga drags on. This seems to have been going on longer than Big Brother, and somehow, it’s managed to be more farcical. "Our offer is an excellent offer for an excellent player. It’s in their hands. They say no and no is no," said Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho in the latest […]

  • Wenger wants Cole decision by end of the week August 8th, 2006 Arsenal

    It would seem that Arsene Wenger reads Who Ate All The Pies. Why? Yesterday I wrote about my longing for Cashley Cole to sort himself out, and just bugger off to Chelsea. Well, Arsene said "I do not know what will happen with Ashley Cole in the next few days, but for me certainly the […]

  • Ashley Cole left out of Arsenal’s squad for Europe August 7th, 2006 Arsenal

    For some reason, I can’t find any pictures of Ashley Cole in a Chelsea shirt. You may well be saying "Aaaaaahhh… but he plays for Arsenal…". Well I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t think it would you?  You see, Cole is in the centre of one of the most drawn out transfer sagas ever. The latest […]

  • Chelsea’s vomit-inducing bid to crack America August 4th, 2006 Chelsea

    According to Sports Illustrated‘s website, in the wake of the World Cup ‘many Americans are searching for a world superclub to support’. SI writer Grant Wahl suggests that their choice ‘may as well be talent-laden Chelsea’. God help us. Wahl himself chose to support Chelsea in 1998: one of the reasons he gives for this […]

  • Shit Kits No.1: Chelsea’s ‘graphite and tangerine’ away kit August 4th, 2006 Chelsea

    In the first of an occasional series celebrating hideous kits of seasons past, where better to start than with reigning champions Chelsea. I still have nightmares about their ‘graphite and tangerine’ away kit, sported between 1994-1996. I’m pretty sure Ruud Gullit, who made his Chelsea debut wearing this monstrosity (see picture), does too.

  • Gallas disrespected the Chelsea ‘family’ – Mourinho picking out a horse’s head right now… August 3rd, 2006 Chelsea

    Jose Mourinho has accused William Gallas of disrespecting both him and Chelsea by staying away from their U.S training camp: ‘It’s not only me that is upset – we’re all upset,’ Don Vito Mourinho said. ‘Everybody is upset because we had a strong family and a strong group and this has shown a lack of […]

  • Liverpool who? Says Jose Mourinho August 2nd, 2006 Chelsea

    John Terry recently stated that he was convinced Liverpool would be in the race for the title. Jose Mourinho doesn’t seem to agree, thinking Man Urinal and A’nal will be the ones pushing his side all the way. He said "I still believe that Man United and Arsenal will be the biggest threat, in spite […]

  • Hasselbaink faces rap from FA July 31st, 2006 Arsenal

    Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is finding himself in a bit of bother after he made claims that players received illegal payments after a 2004 Champions League win over Arsenal. JFH will get done for ‘bringing the game into disrepute’ and ‘improper conduct’ if his claims are unsubstantiated. The now Charlton player made 156 appearances for Chelsea […]

  • Transfer gossip heats up with Cole, Carrick and Downing July 31st, 2006 Arsenal

    Bloody hell. It’s all hotting up. Aside from Chelsea, it’s all seemed a bit quiet in transfer land, until now! Carrick has gone to Man Urinal, with the club apparently shelling out £18.6 million on him (phew!). So what will Jol spend his money on? Well, it would seem he’s after Gareth Barry (who’d blame […]

  • When is tapping up not tapping up? The Ashley Cole Saga continues… July 28th, 2006 Arsenal

    Ashley Cole goes for a meal with ‘the special one’. They get caught and the FA smack their legs. Tut tut. ‘Naughty Chelsea. You may well be the richest in the playground, but you can’t go around offering more sweets to the greedy bugger over there.’ And then Cole signs for Chelsea. It certainly seems […]

  • Andriy Shevchenko, Goal Machine July 28th, 2006 Chelsea

    Chelski have spent loads of money this summer and everyone hates them. They’ve bought Andriy Shevchenko merely as a trophy to parade. Really? Watch this video and beware. He’s great with his bonce AND both feet. Mof Gimmers

  • Tight-fisted Spurs asked Chelsea to pay Duff’s wages July 27th, 2006 Chelsea

    How daft are Spurs? You try and convince everyone that you’re a big club with ambition, and then, whilst trying to land a big player (like Damien Duff), you ask a proper big club (like Chelsea) to help out with his wages. Spurs have a wage structure that is seemingly pretty strict. No-one at Spurs […]

  • Is Shevchenko 35 times better than Cantona? July 27th, 2006 Chelsea

    ‘If you look at us signing Eric Cantona for £1 million — and I think this is probably the best way to do it — and how much you’re seeing centre forwards like Shevchenko going for, you have to ask yourself this: is Shevchenko 35 times better than Cantona?’Sir Alex Ferguson on the craziness of […]

  • Is Frank Lampard worth £100,000 a week? July 27th, 2006 Chelsea

    I can hardly get my head around the prospect of earning £100,000 in seven days. Frank Lampard gets that much just for hoofing the ball way over the bar ten times a match. Who said life was fair? Anyway, Chelsea have told Lampard that they won’t be offering him a new, improved contract – in […]

  • Jose Mourinho is ‘ready for war’ & wants a short, back and sides for all his players July 26th, 2006 Chelsea

    We recently awarded Jose Mourinho a coveted Horror Hair badge for his new No.1 crop – now he admits he wants his players to adopt the same ‘aggressive’ look – it seems English yob culture is really rubbing off on Chelsea’s manager. Wonder if Jose carries a Stanley knife in the inside pocket of his […]

  • Horror Hair: Jose Mourinho, Chelsea July 19th, 2006 Chelsea

    Blimey, two stressful seasons in the Premiership haven’t done much for poor Jose’s hairline, have they? He’s also much greyer on top than when he first arrived in England. I recommend that the Special One invests in a Special Hat to help keep his head warm throughout the British winter.

  • Mourinho and Fergie – the mind games have started July 17th, 2006 Chelsea

    I noticed that when Jose Mourinho discussed the future of Cristiano Ronaldo in a recent interview, the Chelsea manager couldn’t stop himself aiming a quick verbal jab in the direction of Alex Ferguson. Force of habit, I guess: ‘He [Ronaldo] is a great player, full of potential and ambition…’ Mourinho said. ‘I do not speak […]

  • Damien Duff off to Tottenham? July 17th, 2006 Chelsea

    It looks likely that Chelski winger Damien Duff is about to move from west London to north London. He reportedly completed a medical for Spurs at the weekend  – if he gets the all-clear he’ll be a Tottenham player by the end of the month. Jose Mourinho may regret letting him go, but then DD […]

  • Chelsea accuse Real Madrid of tapping up Arjen Robben. I guess Alanis Morissette would call that ironic July 6th, 2006 Chelsea

    Chelsea will contact Fifa to investigate Real Madrid over a possible illegal approach for Arjen Robben. The Dutch winger had been named by new Real president Ramon Calderon as one of the players that had already agreed terms on a move to Madrid. Calderon insists that Real’s new sporting director, Predrag Mijatovic, has talked with […]