Funnies

Funnies: Football is a constant stream of lols and we do our level best to root them all out for you. Weird, offbeat and bizarre football news from around the world

• Snapshot: Liam Gallagher is delighted to meet Wolves players August 24th, 2009 Funnies

  Both Gallagher brothers were at Eastlands on Saturday to see Man City beat Wolves. Before the game, they took time out to pose for photos with a couple of Wolves players, namely Matt Hill and Sam Vokes. First up, Noel: Then Liam stepped in: Say cheese? F**k off.

• Football merch: ‘Kopites are Gobshites’ anti-Liverpool T-shirt August 21st, 2009 Everton

  Are Kopites gobshites? No comment, your honour. Available from Objectivo.com, priced $24. MORE TEES Burnley 1-0 Man Utd. You watched the game, now buy the T-shirt Giuseppe Rossi Judas T-shirt Top 10 footballers who revealed T-shirts with messages

• Flashback: Dion Dublin signs for Manchester United, forced to wear rubbish baseball cap August 20th, 2009 Funnies

  “Er, gaffer, the hat’s a bit too big. And I know I’m black but, er, not all black guys wear baseball caps. I do have a magnificent penis though…” “Shut up and smile for the cameras, big man. You’re gonna get me some goals.” “Yeah, about that…”

• FAIL: Female Leeds United fan mistimes goal celebration August 19th, 2009 Funnies

  Caught during Leeds United’s 2-1 win at Walsall last night. Jermaine Beckford scored the winner in the 86th minute, causing ecstatic scenes in the away end – only one female Leeds fan cocked up her rush to the front. That’s a FAIL, lass.

• Let’s all laugh at… Chelsea’s players walking to the Stadium of Light August 19th, 2009 Chelsea

  Not sure why Chelsea’s bus didn’t make it all the way into the Stadium of Light. Perhaps their driver is Deco’s dad and the little Portuguese playmaker was embarrassed: “Drop me off here Dad, I’ll walk the rest of the way. Pick me up later, same place at 10…” Always good to see professional footballers […]

• The brilliance of Jimmy Bullard (with video evidence) August 18th, 2009 Funnies

  Most Prem footballers are vain eejuts. Not our Jimmy, who despite being a money-grabbing traitor (a Fulham fan’s view) is still the biggest character in the top flight. MORE JIMMY Shit Lookalikes: Jimmy v Queen’s Roger Taylor Jimmy cracks up during TV interview

• Cristiano Ronaldo can’t fill his elephant thong, says ex-WAG Nereida Gallardo August 10th, 2009 Funnies

  Quote of the day goes to Nereida Gallardo, one of C-Ron’s most skanky famous ex-WAGs. Here she is talking about Ron’s favourite underwear, a red, elephant-trunk thong:

• Video: Everton’s new away kit launched with Haka war dance August 7th, 2009 Everton

  I have no idea what the Haka has to do with Everton, so I have to award a big FAIL to this PR stunt. If you do know the link between a Maori war dance and Le Coq Sportif/Everton, let me know. All I can think of is that Tim Cahill has a Samoan mum, […]

• Video: Craig Bellamy refuses to sign Rangers fan’s shirt August 7th, 2009 Funnies

  “I can’t sign Rangers gear, no chance…” EXIT. Ha. As much as Bellamy annoys 99% of football fans, I can understand why he recoils from anything to do with Rangers – that’s the way it is with the Old Firm. And as a former Hoop, I’m sure he’s been subjected to some terrible, terrible stick […]

• Andrey Arshavin nicknamed “the meerkat” by Arsenal team-mates August 7th, 2009 Arsenal

  The Sun tells us that Andrey Arshavin has a new nickname at Arsenal: “Meerkat”. If you’ve seen the incredibly annoying Compare the Meerkat adverts on TV, you’ll know why: Meerkat: Arshavin: A bit more imaginative than “Arshy” I suppose, but still it smacks of rather childish banter. Translation: I wish I’d thought of it first.

• Inevitable football news: Geordie gets Sir Bobby Robson tattoo August 6th, 2009 Funnies

  Newcastle fan George Wright, 45, has got a big ole’ tattoo of Sir Bobby Robson’s face inked on his left thigh: What, a minute’s silence and a raised pint wasn’t enough for you, George? Now it’s like Sir Bob is chuckling at your cock. For the rest of your life. Newcastle fans really do put […]

• Pop quiz: Which Premier League team does A-Ha support? August 6th, 2009 Funnies

  “Are you sure this pose doesn’t look gay?” Quote of the day comes from A-Ha hearthrob Morten Harket, who revealed in an interview with Sky News that the band supports… drum roll… Stoke City! “When were kids Stoke was massive in Norway,” Morten explained. “We can give you the 1975 line-up, but I’m not sure […]

• Video, Sparta Rotterdam v FC Twente: Who needs a corner flag anyway? August 6th, 2009 Funnies

  As if the poor old corner flag doesn’t already take enough punishment (from the likes of Tim Cahill), now some Dutch player comes along and uproots it. Ja, screw de cornervlag! Good to see that Schteve McClaren saw the funny side, although I bet last night’s Champions League exit wiped the smile off his face: […]

• Football love stories: Dion Dublin and Lee Hendrie August 5th, 2009 Aston Villa

  I was trawling through Press Association’s photo archive and came across these amazing pics of a couple of young footballers who were clearly very much in love… Heart-meltingly beautiful. MORE FOOTBALL LOVE STORIES John Terry and Frank Lampard: a football love story, in photos Cristiano Ronaldo and Ole-Gunnar Solskjaer Christian Vieri and Paolo Maldini Xabi […]

• David Beckham is afraid of Shaquille O’Neal August 5th, 2009 Funnies

  Shaq has been calling out Becks on Twitter. On July 29, the LA Lakers star Tweeted: “Its official, today is david beckham is scared of shaq, day, he should b scared, he can never score a goal on me,” Nice grammar there Shaq. Now Shaq has challenged Beckham, in a video captured by gossip website […]

• American soccerball can be dangerous to your face (with video evidence) August 3rd, 2009 FAIL

  BOOF. And again, just because once isn’t enough… BOOF. BOOF. BOOF!