XI Conclusions: Champions League Final – Bayern Munich 1-1 Chelsea (Pens 3-4)

 By Chris Wright

1. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him – maybe you can hire: Didier Drogba. Didier…f**king…Drogba. Nine cup finals, nine goals and a winning penalty in a Champions League final.

2. Petr Cech’s contribution was just as important. Two (possibly three) penalty saves; the first keeping Chelsea in it and then second leaving them teetering on the precipice of glory. Colossal display.

3. Elsewhere Gary ‘John Terry’ Cahill was fantastic and Ashley Cole was ‘one better’ as Nigel Tufnel would have it. Played like a hero. Juan Mata, on the other hand, was noticeably very poor – especially during the first 90 minutes. The onus was on him (at the top of the midfield) to make most of Chelsea’s scarce breaks and he routinely botched his pass/overran the ball and conceded possession. Ditto Toni Kroos on the other side of the divide.

4. That said, the lung-busting shift of the night was definitely put in by Jose Boswinga, who ran himself into the ground to make sure he was front and centre in every picture and photo after the final whistle!

5. Even at the most tense, fraught, distraught moment with fingers latticed over head and tears glistening on face, a football fan will always break kayfabe in order to grin like a gorm once spotting themselves on the big screen. Always.

6. Chelsea opted for the ‘if it ain’t broke, etc, etc…’ tactical approach and sat incredibly deep while riding their luck for the majority of the game. Unadventurous, skittish and, against all probability, effective – for the third time on the spin! While a spectacle it doth maketh not, playing on the back foot from the off takes a lot of discipline and testicular fortitude. Kudos are definitely due.

7. The fact that Chelsea fans rose to applaud their team in at the end of the first half of extra time while the Bayern fans were struck by disconsolate silence probably tells you all you need to know about the two approaches on show.

8. Anatoliy Tymoshchuk looks like the quiet girl in the office that wears cardigans and of whom you have the sneaking suspicion may be a Jehovah’s Witness. Arjen Robben’s default facial expressional is that of a man who has just had wasp fly down behind the lens of his glasses.

9. Bayern’s set-pieces were the square root of shite all evening.

10. He may have scored twentyahundred goals in however many games again this season, but Mario Gomez isn’t nearly as good as his goal record suggests. He’s a bit of a donkey – clumsy, profligate and often dramatically so. Also, Gomez’s failure to score a brace tonight means that Lionel Messi became the first player in the history of the European Cup/Champions League to finish top scorer for four seasons on the bounce. As with most things, all roads lead to Messi.

11. John Terry lifting the trophy in a ‘RIGHT TO PLAY’ shirt? The ironing is delicious.

Any thoughts on the game folks?

Posted in Champions League, Chelsea, Featured, Opinion, Top 10s & lists

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  1. noiz says:

    what game? pretty much sucked until the first goal

  2. Philipp says:

    shame on chelsea for winning europes most significant trophy whit that style. i reminded me of greece winning the euro, not only cause they’re blue.
    sad for bayern they couldnt score, football should look different than that.

    roman a. should have been boo-ed while lifting the trophy, investing 1 billion bucks in 9 defender squad is not a lovely thing…

  3. Greg says:

    Bosingwa is the new David May!

  4. JR says:

    After 90′ if Bayern won I would have been disappointed, they had so many chances that went squandered. How can a team in this situation play this bad, at home in the Champions League final getting a million great looks and squandering them all. All of their attacking options looked so poor lead by the “donkey” Gomez (who just scores a lot of goals in a few games in my opinion, he has so consistency)

    I just wanted to see a good entertaining final, and was sadly disappointed. But good for Chelsea Drogba deserves to take that trophy home with him.

  5. KKK says:

    It could have been worse. Terry could have chosen a white hood for the trophy presentation.

  6. Steve says:

    Flash-subbing Mueller was a ridiculous decision (yes, hindsight is 20-20 and all that) but even as it happened I thought it was a bad move.

  7. Rob says:

    How many hundreds of millions spent on that squad and they put 10 men behind the ball? Horrible stuff.
    Kalou now joins Traore as one of the crappest players to win that cup.

  8. Johnny says:

    Once again, Chelsea prove that they can WIN without JOHN TERRY, and that he is an irrelevant piece of crap. Sell him & buy someone who is not a total dick.

  9. Drogba a miracles go scorrer He always do it when i needed Him most as a Chelsea Fans.at that 82mins goal form the losser i am expecting a wonderfull miracle goal fro no ONE but Drogba Didier.A.K.A ,OGHENEDROGBA Of Chelsea.MANY STRIKE HAS COME TO CHELSEA BUT DROGBA THE FAVORABLE AFRICA BORN…………….HURRY OOOOO

  10. C7 says:

    Leighton Baines, good though he is, is not fit to lick ashley coles boots clean. and drogba is still the best.

  11. Mr Sensible says:

    I fucking hate Chelsea but congratulations, in Drogba, Lampard and Cech you have 3 players I have great respect for and am please they have won the biggest prize in club football. Seeing the look on Spurs fans was great.

    John Terry however, Jesus fucking Christ, does this man have no shame!? Wearing his full kit and running on to the pitch the second Drogba had scored the penalty. What a fucking horrible excuse for a human being, have a bit of dignity and accept how much you fucked up and be a fucking man.

    Also, has anyone won the CL and World Cup as easily as Torres?

    Anyway, well done Chelsea and Di Matteo, I’m upset Abramovic’s dream came true and also that he joined in the lifting of the cup (I guess if you spend a billion pounds you’re kind of allowed to).

    PS Boswinga is totally the new David May, good on him!

  12. Mr Sensible says:

    Also, did anyone else notice the naked guy who ran onto the pitch after Drogba’s penalty?

  13. Jamie says:

    @Greg.. was thinking exactly the same thing mate.. he wouldn’t piss off!

  14. Toji says:


    Like people say that Clough was the best manager England never had, if this generation of Chelsea hadn’t won I think it woud’ve been quite accurate to say that this “Drogs/Lamps/Terry/Cech” Chelsea team were the best team never to win the Champion’s League in the last decade and many years to come.
    I’m so happy that they got what they’ve deserved after all these years of unfortunate Champion’s League campaigns!


  15. ds. says:

    @ Mr Sensible.

    I DID! blink and you’d have missed it. wish i’d blinked.

    also who was the tit at the chelsea end who threw that beach ball while robben was taking his penalty? i don’t think it made a difference, but still, what a prick.

    Bayern should have won about 3-1. i was a neutral here but i also never get sick of seeing JT cry. damn.

  16. Andy Carroll's Ponytail says:

    @Mr Sensible: I second your first comment.

    Never thought I’d live to see a German team choke on penalties and a German player missing the crucial one at that!

    Looks like playing in your home stadium for the European/UCL cup is a bloody curse! Luckily it’s at Wembley next season eh?

    Trivia: Chelsea’s victory means that London is the FIRST major capital of Europe (Paris, Rome, Berlin, sorry, Madrid not included) to have an European Cup/UCL champions. Eat your hearts out Arse-nal!

    Oh, and pity ‘Arry. He must have been in fits last night.

  17. Joe says:

    First United ’99 and then this… Will the Germans now be saying that you haven’t beaten the English until they’re back in the dressing room?

  18. John Terry's tearducts says:

    @Andy Carroll’s Ponytail: Why not include Madrid? Seems a bit arbitrary if you’re going to include Rome. And what about Ajax, Benfica, Steua, Red Star…?

  19. dc says:

    When Mario Gomez first suited up with the german squad and i was told by the announcers about his fantastic record and then watched him play, the first thing i thought was “ok, yeah, im sure he’s pretty good in normal games if he has a record like that, but this guy really just isnt a big game player. nothing against him, but some are, some arent” yet none of his managers have ever noticed…

    ditto robben. in fact, drogba seemed godlike out there but he was really just playing normally because he was the only player that wasn’t made of nerves and remembered how to kick a football properly. i guess when you’ve stopped civil wars, big pressure just doesnt affect you as much

  20. KKK says:

    Robben was shitting himself so bad that he REFUSED to take a penalty in the shootout. That’s why their Keeper ended up taking one of the shots.

  21. JG says:

    I will agree that it was an ugly win, but it was a win. DiMat figured out how to beat teams like Barca and Bayern. Give them the ball and let them run themselves silly and then strike. It’s the football equivalent of a Rope-A-Dope.

  22. Venny says:

    Offense sells tickets, defense wins championships. All that needs to be said about this one.

  23. Sam says:

    Phillipp – it’s not pretty but strategically they didn’t have a choice. I don’t like Chelski much either (the hobby of a very smart and ruthless oligarch who made both legit and dubious money in a collapsed Russia in the 90s), but you have to hand it to them they played with heart. Had the England squad in 2006 played with half as much heart, with a few of the players at the core of that team as well, then England might have had another WC title. Anyway, the style Chelsea played reminded me of how some very, very good but not sexy Italian title winning teams have played, like Juve in the late 90s and the Milan team of the early 90s, which is probably the only club i would put up next to the Barcelona of the last few years in terms of dominance.

    Mr Sensible – yes John Terry is shameless and is what we Americans would call true trailer park trash.

    How about Fabio Capello as ‘assistant-coach’ to Di Matteo??…

  24. p says:

    lol @ the chelsea haters.. go on

  25. mr mofongo says:

    i really don’t understand how you can find anything positive to talk about on chelsea’s side after last night’s match. objectively, it was horrible football. they didn’t even properly defend, they just stood in their own box, waiting for something to happen and lobbed themselves in front of the ball if anyone shot.
    horrific display of football.

  26. Grant says:

    Did anybody else love the comedy balls-up Chelsea made of actually lifting the trophy? For all the fuss that was made of JT being allowed to lift the trophy if they won it, he and Lamps were lost in the sea of blue-shirted dullards, robbing Chelsea, UEFA, and everyone else of the iconic image of people lifting the trophy like we usually get.

  27. Wynton says:

    Most undeserved win I could possibly think of. This was probably the most onesided final I have ever seen in history of UCL. Very ugly football played by Chelsea but in the end they made it so it worked out for them.

  28. Frost says:


    LOL Why you mad though?

  29. Nuno says:

    Drogba, Cech and Lampard deserved a CL in their curriculum, but it shocks me as a player as crappy as Paulo Ferreira now has 2 CL trophies, under 2 different teams (Mourinho’s Porto).
    But totally subscribe Gomez as overrated, he has the merit of usually being at the right place and just tap the ball in, but as seen in this game and against Real, he has the ability of a donkey.

  30. Murray says:

    Chelsea haters–AWWW U MAD!

    Sour grapes, World’s Smallest Violin, and all that.

    Those of us in New York City who gathered in the Irish pubs on 33rd St to watch the game had ourselves a ball. Every second of the match was enjoyed by all, and when it was all over, everyone was happy for Chelsea.

    Fuck all that BS about Chelsea being outplayed. A 46-year-old may have been heavily outboxed by Michael Moorer, but all it took was one good punch from Foreman to make that irrelevant. 20 corner kicks with jack squat to show for it is irrelevant if the other side still gets one corner and one goal to show for it. Chelsea have shown that for all their defensive play, in the rare event that they DO go and take a chance, they know how to MAKE IT COUNT. Munich couldn’t make it count, and now they don’t get called champions.

  31. cvoelker says:

    Chelsea were absolute shite the whole match. Ten men behind the ball isn’t brave – it’s cowardly. For anyone to praise that tactic is incomprehensible to me.

    As a neutral, I would have much rather seen Barca take on this Bayern side. Not only might we have seen more goals, we would certainly have seen more attacking play.

  32. Harry says:

    How can you say it was ugly football? bayern munich had like 35 shots and scored 1. it werent playing ugly football that won chelsea the champions league, it was bayern’s poor finishing.

  33. KKK says:

    @Wynton: What are you talking about? One sided final. Just look at last years. Barca’s total domination of MUFC.

  34. us says:

    Leave it to John Terry to make an ass of himself in a game he doesn’t even play in.

  35. Wynton says:

    @KKK: Yeah ok fine, but with all due respect Bayern is not Barca and as we’ve all seen last night Robben isn’t quite Messi. So the thing that bothered me was the uninspired, hesitant and ultra defesive play shown by Chelsea right from the beginning of the game. There was just no need for that IMO.

  36. Eric says:

    To me, Cech was MOTM. He put in a performance worthy of Grobelaar in Roma.

    As we have learned a lot in the last few years, when it comes to big matches, Arjen Robben’s head finds its way firmly up his ass, and he cocks up multiple chances for his team to win.

    It was an intense match, that I enjoyed watching as a neutral, and mocking mercilessly on Twitter.

  37. Panda says:

    @Toji Chelsea best team to not win the CL in the last 10 years?
    You must be mental.
    Real Madrid are a much better team and they haven’t won it for 10 years now. Despite their assembled Galacticos

  38. The69ersFC says:

    Muller was subbed because his head had gone after scoring the goal!

  39. D3 says:

    I’m a Bayern fan and that game was so boring. Sure I like when my team’s on the ball, BUT DO SOMETHING WITH IT FOR F*CKS SAKE. Hey Robben and Ribery, how about you try a move that isn’t ‘cut across the box and blast one wide’ ONCE? So incredibly frustrating to see you team ‘dominate’ and come away with nothing. All the drama I have to read about when it comes to them taking free kicks makes me forget how they blast it into row ZZZ every time.
    Finally, Robben, you refuse to take a kick because you’re not feeling confident? You’re a professional footballer, you should be able to step to that spot and make it happen 100% of the time.

    tl;dr – Bayern deserved to lose in front of their spoiled fans

  40. Jimmy says:

    10 men benind the ball….blah blah blah…. beautiful football …. blah blah blah … if Chelsea were Italian they’d be hailed for thier defensive acumen and ruthless finishing, but as it stands, they’re English so they must be shit, right?

    But, yeah, Gomez was crap.

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