‘It Will Be A Prominent Scientist’ – Bank Of England Reject Harry Maguire Riding On Unicorn As Dreary New £50 Note Design Semi-Confirmed

Chris Wright

2nd, November 2018


The boring old fuddy-duddy British government have rejected widespread clamour for Harry Maguire to feature on the new £50 bank note.

A petition to get the image of England’s World Cup hero riding on the back of an inflatable unicorn garnered over 42,000 signatures, but the Bank of England have nevertheless chosen to snub the public in favour of having a “prominent scientist” replace steam engine entrepreneurs Matthew Boulton and James Watt on their new polymer note.

Image: @JonnyGabriel/Twitter

Rather than Maguire and his trusty steed, The Bank of England have confirmed that they plan to feature an important figure (living or deceased) in the any field of science, be it astronomy, biology, bio-technology, chemistry, engineering, mathematics, medical research, physics, technology or zoology.

The public can now submit their nominations via The Bank’s website, with governer Mark Carney saying:

There is a wealth of individuals whose work has shaped how we think about the world and who continue to inspire people today.

Our banknotes are an opportunity to celebrate the diversity of UK society and highlight the contributions of its greatest citizens.

BBC News are speculating that Professor Stephen Hawking is the frontrunner for the nod, though Alan Turing and Ada Lovelace are other strong contenders.

Intrinsically pioneering as they all may be, did they even come close to bringing football home from Russia?

We think not.

Posted in England

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  1. JP says:

    Fed up with hearing about Ada sodding Lovelace. What did she do? Nobody can fucking tell you, but she’s the greatest woman to ever live apparently.

    • Straight Dave says:

      She was a pornstar, famous for such significant pieces of wankfodder as ‘Deep Throat’. Amanda Seyfried played her in a film not so long ago

    • Comfy Chair says:

      Well, if you’d get your head out of your ass long enough to actually use the thing you’re reading this post on to look her up on the Wikipedia, you might understand how big of an idiot you are. Thanks to Ada, the entire world knows….

    • ChrisCan says:

      JP, did you ever consider that maybe you just don’t know about Ada Lovelace because of your own ignorance? You literally wouldn’t be able to sit there writing idiotic comments on this website (or any website) without Ada Lovelace’s contributions to the Analytical Engine and her work on computer algorithms.

  2. VieuxSang says:

    If you lot are not afraid of invoking the rage of the religious non-Christian set, how about Jesus Christ? Walked on water…
    Maguire walked on the pride of other countries, so almost as good. He’s not in vogue now…being white/male/hetero.

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