Romelu Lukaku’s first touch has been the punchline of many a tedious quip of late, but this unholy horror from Vancouver Whitecaps forward Brek Shea makes the Manchester United striker’s clunky control look as gossamer-light as Dimitar Berbatov padding around a silk mill in velvet slippers.
During the Whitecaps’ drab 0-0 draw against Seattle Sounders on Sunday, Shea (who endured a brief, anonymous stint at Stoke a few years ago) attempted to bring a simple throw-in under his spell.
Alas, he opting against using his feet or chest and instead decided to implement the bridge of his nose.
Wow @BrekShea cannot handle de Jong’s balls tonight #VANvSEA pic.twitter.com/U3bEHGrJH9
— Do or Die (or Draw) (@DoOrDieOrDraw) October 30, 2017
Sorry Brek lad, but that was just miserable. To paraphrase Big Racist Ron, he trapped the ball further than most of us can kick it.
We enjoyed the complete no-sell from the commentator on duty too, like he was fully expecting Shea to make an utter hash of everything.