We regret to inform you that Lionel Messi, the man you watched almost single-handedly decimate Lyon in the Champions League last night, is not nearly as good at football as you think he is. You are all mistaken. You are labouring under an illusion that the five-time Ballon d’Or winner is anywhere close to being at the top of his profession.
The man we must thank for shattering this omni-delusion is Sportsnet soccer analyst Sid Seixeiro – one half of ‘Tim & Sid’, whom we are reliably informed are “Canada’s most edu-taining sports duo”.
Alarm bells are ringing already.
Here’s Sid to tell us all why Messi is a “fraud”, specifically in relation to Cristiano Ronaldo and Zinedine Zidane and “Fat Ronaldo” and all the other undisputed greats of the game…
In classic blowhard fashion, as Sid’s already massively flawed and uninformed opinion begins to lose steam, he simply compensates by getting louder and gesticulating with more gusto.
You can almost pinpoint the precise moment he begins to lose faith in his own once-unshakeable viewpoint but, having also realised that he’s already in too deep to back out, just boorishly insults Michael Carrick for absolutely no reason.
We can feel our brain cells dying, one by one.
Pies promise we will never complain about Danny Murphy ever again.
(Video via Ronan Murphy)