Eden Hazard has the body of a weak and feeble woman
Mere days after Zinedine Zidane boldly claimed that Eden Hazard would be fit again soon and start playing like a motherfucker, guess what happened? … You guessed it (or maybe just read the headline): he’s injured again.
The briefest of statements on Real Madrid’s official website states:
Following tests carried out today on our player, Eden Hazard, by the Real Madrid Medical Services, he has been diagnosed with a muscle injury in the right psoas. His recovery will continue to be assessed.
That is one taciturn club statement.
Someone protect this man’s left psoas immediately! To those that don’t know (I didn’t until I Googled it), the psoas muscle is located in the lower lumbar region of the spine and extends through the pelvis to the femur. I have no idea how you injure it, but Hazard did, 15 minutes into his comeback game against Elche on Saturday, and now he faces another few weeks out of action. The poor motherfucker.
Hazard’s injury record since signing for Real is a sobering read:
Aug 2019: Hamstring injury (25 days out)
Nov 2019: Bruised ankle (8 days out)
Dec 2019: Hairline crack in foot (67 days out)
Feb 2020: Fibula fissure (76 days out)
June 2020: Knock (10 days out)
Sept 2020: Knock (27 days out)
Sept 2020: Muscle injury (27 days out)
Nov 2020: Covid-19 (13 days out)
Nov 2020: Muscle injury (30 days out)
Feb 2021: Muscle injury (37 days out)
March 2021: Muscle injury (tbc)
The man is cursed, it’s the only explanation.
Or perhaps Real’s medical department needs to chill the f out…
Watching this video, is it any surprise that Hazard gets injured so often at Real Madrid?
— ExpectedChelsea (@ExpectedChelsea) March 15, 2021
What’s strange is that before he joined Real, Hazard could not have been described as injury prone. He missed no games through injury in four seasons at Lille, and only 21 in seven seasons with Chelsea. He’s already missed 50 games as a Real player. It’s anomalous.