By Chris Wright
I think we can all agree that the actual game of Subbuteo was tripe – and yes, this is largely because I was terrible at it – but the accessories were absotively fantastic works of miniature art.
From the pure pleasure derived from getting your hands on a beautiful, pristine green box containing the Port Vale 1990 squad displayed in uniform within their blister pack to the very first time you snapped one of them off at the ankles – Subbuteo’s visual aesthetic was a thing to be cherished.
For no reason other than we love it, here’s our rundown of the top ten Subbuteo accessories you probably wish you’d owned…
10. Outside Broadcast TV Unit/Gantry
Broadcast your game live to millions…
9. Adidas Tango balls
Coolest football ever, somehow made infinitely cooler…
8. Substitutes’ bench
The physio figurines were a bloody nightmare to keep perched on the pine. Many were the times that games were interrupted by a chap in a green tracksuit rolling around on his back on the touchline…
7. Referee and Linesmen
The men in black…
6. Fences
It seems quite strange to say, but having fencing or hoarding around the perimeter of your pitch was a big deal – especially if you had the sponsors stickers affixed too…
5. Official Subbuteo Grandstand
Only serious players need apply…
4. Scoreboard
An absolute nightmare to set up if memory serves, but how else are you going to keep track of the score? With a pen and paper? Get out of it!
3. Floodlights
Two 5 watt bulbs? Illuminate that sucker, maestro!
2. Premier League/FA Cup/World Cup trophy
Something to hoist aloft at the end of it all…
1. The stadium on the advert!
Would you just look at that thing? Subbuteovana!
Oh yes!