Retro Horror Hair: Chris Garland, Bristol City

Ollie Irish

28th, September 2010


By Ollie Irish

Holding up a football is just a cunning strategy to detract attention from Garland’s enormous and unnecessary combover. When you have enough hair for 11 men, why would you opt for a combover style? Mysterious. I call this the Executive Combover Deluxe.

What happened to Garland, a striker, after he quit football? Nothing good, according to the Bristol Evening Post, which reported in 2008:

“He was one of the Ashton Gate Eight, whose contracts were terminated in the financial crash of 1982.

“After his football career ended, he suffered business failures, bankruptcy, redundancy, marriage break-up, gambling problems, and a brief period of being homeless and sleeping rough.

“Despite having Parkinson’s disease, which some medical experts believe may have been caused by heading heavy leather footballs, the former Bristol City star says: ‘I’m more contented now than I’ve ever been.'”


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  1. Zedie says:

    Legendary barnet

  2. friend of chris says:

    Chris is a very good friend of mine and the report that nothing good happend to him after he quit football couldnt be further from the truth! He is very happily married and has a wonderful life. Despite his parkinsons he is always positive and cheerful. Anyone who knows him will tell you he is also a true gentleman unlike the person who wrote that report !

    • Donna says:

      Totally agree! Chris is also a good friend of mine, married to a wonderful woman and despite his Parkinson’s is as lovely funny and kind as ever. We sat just last week going through all his memorabilia reading amazing comments about Chris from people like Alex Ferguson and George Best- he was, and still is so well thought of by everyone who knows him. This journo actually went on to work for some big well known brands, I wonder if they’d be interested in seeing this article?

  3. john cherry says:

    I think a lot of players will suffer who headed the ball it is like being punched on a regular basis. I played football as an amateur and i am feeling the effect l would love to see todays footballers donate a chunk of their money towards good causes such as parkinsons.

  4. Omni Champ says:

    What an absolutely awful piece of writing this is. You should be very ashamed of yourself.

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