Stop what you’re doing an listen. This is important. Cristiano Ronaldo has launched a new range of luxury blankets.
They’ve been produced in conjunction with American blanket company Elite Team, who have used some incredibly strange imagery in their product blurb:
Our blankets are a tribute to you…the face-painting, team-heckling, song-singing, sign-toting, referee-nagging, scream at the TV, go-shirtless-at-the-stadium types.
You live and breathe your team, and no one can come close to your level of devotion. It trickles down into everything you do and everything you wear.
That’s what separates hardcore CR7 fans from everyone else, and those are the types of fans we and Cristiano admire the most.
That’s why we teamed up to create our exclusive line of soft, plush and stylish blankets. So you can have yet another way to express your CR7 Fandemonium.
Steady on chaps. They’re only blankets. Nothing is trickling down anything as yet.
Here’s the man himself, shirtless as per, demonstrating just how lovely, soft, plush and stylish his blankies truly are…
Snug as a bug in a rug, though getting all that fake tan off the sheets is going to be murder.
Anyway, the blankets are available in single or double-sided format, the designs on offer include the CR7 logo in classic black and grey, breast cancer awareness pink or the Portuguese national colours, and the best one of the bunch: the tasteful Cristiano portrait blanket…
And for just $100 a pop, we can’t think of a better gift to give to somebody you slightly despise.