La Liga Introduce Raft Of Bizarre Rules For 2018/19 Season Including Strict New Laws On ‘Mascot Height’

Chris Wright

23rd, August 2018

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As well as helping to bring about the end of football as we know it by flogging actual league matches to the United States, the collective genii at La Liga have been busy cobbling together a list of new valuable and worthwhile rules to be introduced for the new season.

After putting their heads together, La Liga have produced a list of new ‘Audiovisual Regulations’ designed to govern what can and can’t be shown during televised Spanish matches in 2018/19.

For example, banners and flags will not be allowed to be hung in stadiums in areas where they might “distort the view or perception” of advertisements and sponsor brand names.

However, the most important rule change is the one concerning club mascots and the varying heights thereof.

As of this season, mascots must be “no bigger than a normal person” and not visible during matches.

This will no doubt come as a hammer blow for the likes of Real Betis, whose mascot Palmerin is a jolly palm tree who prances around the stadium before matches.

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Some other highlights contained within the 178-page document include a new rule for pre- and post-match press conferences.

From now on only two bottles will be allowed on the table and must be either soda or water. Alcoholic beverages are prohibited, and the microphone used must measure 30 x 24 centimetres – no more, no less.

Here’s a few more curios (via AS)…

  • Every blade of grass on the pitch must be between 20mm to 30mm in height.
  • Sprinklers must be turned off during matches to prevent “accidental watering”.
  • All pitches must be mowed into a regulation nine-band pattern. Intricate grass designs are no longer allowed.
  • Stadium public address systems must be able to keep working even during power cuts.

Matchday attendances are also going to be closely monitored by La Liga, with clubs facing large fines if their stands opposite the main broadcast camera are less than 50% full.

All rules are mandatory (unless special dispensation is granted) and disciplinary points will be administered for failures to adhere to them, with each point carrying a monetary value of at least €2,000.

All points accrued will then be tallied up at the end of the season and each individual club stung for the total amount warranted.

Any clubs who decide that it would be more profitable to pay up than adhere to the rules will run the risk of having ‘certain licenses” revoked – whatever that may mean.

Fun, fun, fun.