By Chris Wright
Exactly what it says on the tin: a 25-strong compendium of some of the very worst Wikipedia profile photos assigned to members of the footballing community available on the internet today.
Hold tight, find something to bite down on and awaaaaaay we go…
1. Bob Wilson
Taken while Bob was filling up at an Asda petrol station no less…
2. Salomon Kalou
Just having a quick rummage…
3. Dean Holdsworth
Mmmm. Sexy self-shot…
4. Rene Higuita
Sweet padded Reusch gillet you got there Rene…
5. Pablo Aimar
Presumably chosen as, at a diddy 5’7” on his tip-toes, this is the only header he’s ever won?
6. Ally McCoist
Alistair Murdoch “Wet Look” McCoist…
7. Ray Houghton
They’ve really captured Ray’s best side with this one…
8. Goran Pandev
Would it be remiss of us to pass on a ‘cockpit’ quip here?
9. Edin Dzeko
If you had a penny for every pixel in Dzeko’s profile shot you still wouldn’t have a penny…
10. Jay Bothroyd
Like a grainy still from a Crimewatch reenactment…
11. Paul Ince
We get the ominous feeling that the Guvnor’s photo was cropped like this for a reason…
12. Hermann Hreidarsson
Obviously taken by the same guy that did Dzeko’s…
13. Clayton Blackmore
You can just tell his love for you will still be strong, even after the boys of summer have gone…
14. Denis Irwin
Round the back of the bins. How fitting…
15. Kenny Dalglish
King Kenny in his element…
16. Thomas Hassler
Fleeing the scene…
17. Ray Parlour
Look everybody, it’s retired former women’s tennis champion Ray Parlour…
18. Neil Ruddock (since removed)
Nom nom nom slaver slaver slaver…
19. Eyal Berkovic
Eyal’s got his glad rags on…
20. Bixente Lizarazu
The former France left-back, seen here at actual size…
21. Raul
HI GUYS!!!
22. Des Walker
Table for one please…
23. Yossi Benayoun
Oh hey there Yossi, what ya doing?
24. Gheorghe Hagi
Tennis? Really?
25. Duncan Ferguson
Seems there was a reason Big Dunc didn’t smile a lot…
Bonus bits and bobs…
Sammy Igoe’s profile shot (courtesy of @mikejjennings), which includes the fantastic caveat “Igoe not pictured”…
For some reason Terry Venables’ Wiki is adorned by a photo of his Spitting Images puppet (via Anonymous)…
Any more for any more? If you’ve stumbled across a woeful footballing Wiki pic on your travels then feel free to share…
Mucho thanks to The Dubious Goals Committee for rounding-up some of the pics and all the card-carrying members of the Pies faithful that helped out with the sourcing on Twitter.
You guys are truly the bomb diggity.