Agadoo: Five Football Chants That Owe It All To The Song Once Dubbed ‘The Worst Of All Time’

Martin Cloake

1st, July 2015

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By Martin Cloake

How’s about you Agadon’t, lads?

“Like the school disco you were forced to attend, your middle-aged relatives forming a conga at a wedding party, a travelling DJ act based in Wolverhampton” – that’s how music magazine Q once verbalised what it thought of Black Lace’s 1984 novelty hit Agadoo after voting it ‘The Worst Song Of All Time’.

Despite its lowly stead among music snobs, Agadoo has, however, proved enduringly popular with football fans, who have adapted the ‘Agadoo, do, do, push pineapple, shake the tree’ lyrics for their own purposes many times over the years.

Current keepers of the flame are Tottenham fans with:

“Eriksen, sen, sen

He’s our number 23;

Eriksen, Sen, Sen

He was bought by AVB;

To the left, to the right, he’s our midfield dynamite;

When he plays in blue and white, he makes Ozil look shite”.

A few years back, Manchester United’s ever resourceful songsmiths informed us that:

“Anderson, son, son

He’s better than Kleberson,

Anderson, son, son

He’s our midfield magician”.

Hindsight can be a real bitch sometimes! Elsewhere, Stoke City fans plumped for an altogether more Germanic version:

“Robert Huth, Huth, Huth

He’s a great big German youth;

Robert Huth, Huth, Huth

He’ll knock out your f**king tooth”.

And Liverpool fans, well and truly gifted to the signing of Daniel Agger in 2006, came up with:

“Agger do, do, do

Saves some goals and scores a few,

Agger do, do. Do

Plays for us and not for you”.

And finally, one from Dagenham and Redbridge about fan favourite midfielder Peter Gain.

“Peter Gain, Gain, Gain

He’s a football genius;

Peter Gain, Gain, Gain

And he’s better than Jenas;

To the left, to the right, to the Dagenham beat tonight;

He’s not big, but he’s hard, and he shits on Frank Lampard.”


You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at

Posted in Featured, Funnies, Newsnow, Retro, Songs & Chants, Top 10s & lists

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1 Comment

  1. Geraldo says:

    Despite just having that one glorious season the Anderson adaptation of Agadoo was the original and is still the best. Don’t know why you guys stopped halfway through it though:

    “Anderson, son, son
    He’s better than Kleberson,
    Anderson, son, son
    He’s our midfield magician.
    To the left, to the right,
    To the Samba beat tonight.
    He is class, with the brass,
    And he s***s on Fabregas!”

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