10 Quick, Succinct And Largely Painless Premier League Predictions For 2018/19 Season

Chris Wright

10th, August 2018


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No messing about. Here’s Pies’ 10 sultry, slimline predictions for the 2018/19 Premier League season…

1. Man City will win the league at a canter. Nobody looks like making up that 19-point gap.

2. Top six will be City at the summit with Liverpool closest then Manchester United, Arsenal, Tottenham and Chelsea all furlongs behind.

3. The relegation vortex will probably be far more interesting again, but we think Cardiff, Huddersfield and Southampton (though Newcastle could also fall apart if Rafa Benitez walks).

4. Naby Keita will be an excellent addition to the Liverpool team. He looks tailor-made for the exciting rigours of the Premier League.

5. Transfer flop? Richarlison. Never been a £50million player.

6. Surprise package? Fulham will be great fun. Over £100million spent on a dozen summer signings, some silken midfielders and Alexandar Mitrovic leading the line with his elbows.

7. We’re also looking forward to seeing how Arsenal fare without their wizened overlord of yore in charge. Finger’s crossed for plenty of exciting attacking football with some sensible adults fielded in defence for a change.

8. The boring choice for Premier League Golden Boot winner is Harry Kane (again), but we think Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang will run him close. Honestly, we can’t see Mohamed Salah repeating his feats from last year.

9. We won’t have to wait long for the first managerial casualty. Neil Warnock is probably the most obvious candidate, but Pies’ pick is Javier Gracia on the grounds that nobody can quite remember who he is anyway*.

(*He’s the Watford manager.)

10. Player of the Year? Kevin de Bruyne is likely to sew it up after coming so close last season, but the aforementioned Keita has a potential monster debut campaign in him.

So, there you go Pies fans. That’s our colours nailed firmly to the mast of destiny.

Care to have a bash?

Posted in Betting & predictions, Featured, Premier League, Top 10s & lists

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  1. oz says:

    1. Everton, just to piss everyone off and “renew” the product again.
    2. Spurs (the only team that can lose a title from Everton etc) Pool, Arsenal. Man U will fight with Burnley over a european ticket.
    3. Chelsea (enough is enough) Southampton (the time has come) Huddersfield (how they escaped last year?)
    4. Who cares?
    5. All the spurs signings
    6. Wolves.
    7. They will entertain us like never before
    8. Yeap, that’s the man
    9. Jose!!!!!
    10. Moussa Sissoko

  2. Iggsy Wiggsy says:

    The first managerial casualty – Special One.
    The huge writin’s on the wall already

  3. romfordray says:

    1. City
    2. City Liverpool Arsenal Spurs Chelsea Manure
    3. Cardiff, Huddersfield, Newcastle
    4. Prolly
    5. Jack Wilshere — will get hurt 5 games into the season
    6. Wolves, Nuno is the most underrated manager in prem
    7. Arsenal will do well. Mesut will actually run and defend.
    8. Gabriel Jesus
    9. Jose Mourinho
    10. Contract year Aron Ramsey

  4. Bruno says:

    Liverpool and Arsenal to finish outside the top four.
    Alisson will be the worst goalkeeper of the year.
    Pogba and Sanchez will be magnificent.
    City to win the league but United will close the gap (and will be very boring).
    Spurs will finish 3rd or 4th as usual.

    The rest is more of the same.

  5. VieuxSang says:

    1. City were beaten well by Liverpool a few times, and that was before the wise recent additions. I see the Scousers for the League.
    2. Top six Liverpool, City, and an ever changing maelstrom of mediocrity from Chelsea, Spurs, Arsenal, Man U.
    3. I completely agree with your vortex assessment, but the worst will be Hudders.
    4. Aye on Keita, but a shout out for it? Not that notable. Have a butcher’s at Green, who just arrived at Chelsea out of thin air.
    5. Richarlison yes. Kepa the keeper will prove more a Karius than a Cech.
    6. Cottagers and Wolves look well poised to stay up stylishly.
    7. Wizened overlord of yore! No hard feelings then?
    8. Kane for the Boot ‘o’ Gold. Salah has one more good season in him.
    9. Warnock is the obvious choice, both he and Tan are unstable. Tan deserves whatever comes undone for the hell he has put Cardiff through with their crest. Warnock deserves it because he looks like he serves Sauron.
    10. De Bruyne yes…and there you go with Keita again. I bet you’ve got a whole page of Paninis with just Keita. Some uplifting message from him as your ring tone, and you bought his underwear on ebay.

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