Pies presents eleven players who were given names more suited to the pension queue than the Premier League:
Edwin van der Sar (Manchester United)
Isaiah Osbourne (Aston Villa)
Clive Clarke (Sunderland)
Wilfred Bouma (Aston Villa)
Claude Davis (Derby County)
Charles N’Zogbia (Newcastle United)
Fredrik Ljungberg (West Ham United)
George Boateng (Middlesbrough)
Harry Kewell (Liverpool, sometimes)
Roy O’Donovan (Sunderland)
Victor Anichebe (Everton)